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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘So happy little Johnny got his 1st choice school’

164 replies

Mangetoutrodney · 16/04/2019 20:27

All over social media today with photos ‘So happy that little Johnny got his first choice primary school’

Aibu to think it’s not a bloody competition & it just rubs it in the faces of all the parents that didn’t get any of their choices etc. When did it become a ‘thing’?

Both my kids got their choices of school when they went to primary and start secondary in sept but I never would have dreamt about putting it on social media particularly because I know devastated people that had to go through the stress of appeals. Absolutely bonkers.

OP posts:
IC4nSeeYourPixels · 16/04/2019 21:12

This type of stuff is more sharing good news with family and friends than bragging and boasting.

People share things their pleased about all the time that don't involve skill or talent. I don't Facebook that much but can't be angry at a parent being happy the wait and excitement and worry is over and wanting to share that.

I'd much rather read about children being happy that seeing someone's being happy for their child than some of the other shit people are posting to be honest.

CupOhTea · 16/04/2019 21:16

I’m so glad I’m not on social media. Sounds like a minefield!

#notonsocialmedia #blessed

Did I do it right Grin?

lotusbell · 16/04/2019 21:17

Missing the point slightly but I find it annoying when people post pics of their kids and either comment with "proud mama" or someone else comments "you must be so proud". I just dont get why.
You're proud of having a kid? Isn't every parent proud of their kids? I dont see where the achievement is!

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 16/04/2019 21:22

I only saw one today, 'so relieved little Johnny got into X primary' , I know what the other local school to them is like and I'd be relieved as well

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 16/04/2019 21:22

I think some people do it because it’s a massive relief and /or a big deal in their life. It’s nearly 20myears since we went through it and I can still remember what a load off my mind it was when he got into what we thought was the best school for him. Others probably do it to stave off the stream of texts and WhatsApp enquiries , particularly this year when the news came through in the school holidays.

Like most things on FB and other SM it’s probably of very little interest to anyone but the family concerned but it’s easy enough to scroll past if you don’t give a shit.

BarbarianMum · 16/04/2019 21:22

YABU If we didn't celebrate things that may inadvertently hurt others or make them jealous I dont think we'd celebrate much. Cat photos for instance, are extremely insensitive to those who have lost a pet. Or who really want a cat but can't have one. Or whose cat is missing. Or who were mugged in a dark alley by a cat as a child. Etc etc

Ilovetolurk · 16/04/2019 21:23

They’re supposed to be Facebook friends

Personally I’m happy for my friends when something goes well for them

BummyKnocker · 16/04/2019 21:24

How is it boasting, it is a statement of fact.

Boasting is excessive statements of achievements/possessions so unless she is doing it daily and in your face then snooze for 30 days if they are pissing you off, that's what I do.

NunoGoncalves · 16/04/2019 21:24

Use the unfollow button.

I'm going to just start posting this on any thread where they moan about people being annoying on social media when it's so easy to ignore people on social media.

Use the unfollow button!

managedmis · 16/04/2019 21:25

God who gives a shit

Rollindowntheroad · 16/04/2019 21:28

I agree OP, if social media makes you angry or down just come off it. My sense of wellbeing improved infinitely!

Crossfitgirl · 16/04/2019 21:29

They're just happy something good happened to them so they're posting so. That's basically what social media is for lol. I think just be happy for them. I get that others may find it insensitive, but does that mean they can't celebrate something good? I hear people say the same about others announcing pregnancies / engagements / new house or whatever else it is - it's so insensitive to those that can't conceive / are single /can't afford those things or is boasting...
People just like to share when good things happen to them and generally if you're not happy for them it's because the person reading it is maybe a little jealous or sad they don't have the same.
I get it, it can be so annoying and I get annoyed at all that stuff too (ffs, how many pics of kids on their first days of school term in their uniforms do I actually need to see every September 1st 😂) but one day, that will be the highlight of my own week and I'll be the one annoying people with that shit! Xx

Waveysnail · 16/04/2019 21:29

They are happy they got the school they wanted - why wouldnt they be, exciting next step for their child

Ravenclawclassof84 · 16/04/2019 21:29

Oh dear I did this when I was pleased that DS got into a school we liked Sad I wasn't gloating, just posting something that made me happy. I was more into the habit of posting good news on FB back then, not really for anyone's benefit but my own and immediate family and friends. I really don't think most people mean to crow or gloat, just unthinkingly share good news.

LilQueenie · 16/04/2019 21:37

They are all entitled to an education. They are all getting one.

RavenousBabyButterfly · 16/04/2019 21:37

How is it boasting? It's not an achievement! Its just people being relieved and happy about something that's really stressful. Also probably letting friends know if their children will be at the same school.

It honestly would never have occurred to me in a million years to take offence at it. Is there anything that doesn't offend people on Facebook?

WeaselsRising · 16/04/2019 21:38

FFS what are people "allowed" to post then?

When I found out our DD had got into the lottery secondary school I wanted her to go to I was over the moon, amazed, thrilled. So I posted it on FB. Not to show off, but to tell friends that after all my worrying she had actually got in. This year I was scanning FB waiting to see where other friends had got a place, knowing which schools they were wanting.

If your FB friends irritate you so much with their boasting then defriend them.

SilverGoldBronze · 16/04/2019 21:38

They’re happy they got the school they wanted, that’s all. Just check out the threads on here - waiting to hear about primary allocation can be very stressful for some. Come on. It’s not boasting to be happy about something. Confused

NailsNeedDoing · 16/04/2019 21:40

I don't see it as boasting, I think people are just relived that the wait to find out is over. I was happy to see that various friends and family children got the places they wanted today, I remember what the worry was like!

tttigress · 16/04/2019 21:46

It's a bit of a fine line with social media. Most admit I have done the odd post that now seem like "Stealth Boasting". But honestly some people post so much nonsense, that you are occasionally tempted to post about your holidays or whatever.

I am actually trying to limit my social media use at the moment, but I can't really give it up, because all my party invites come through Facebook!!

PrincessDanae · 16/04/2019 21:52

I don't use FB, but even I can't see what the heck there is to be upset about here. School allocations is a big deal for many people. You want a good school, one you can get to easily, your DC to be with their friends, etc, etc. It's actually quite a big deal! I was one of the lucky ones in that there was no question we'd get into the school of our choice because of where we lived - we came in under a criteria 3 and it fills up about 2/3 of the way through criteria 4. By complete accident, not design. But I know friends who lived on the other side of the school lived roughly where criteria 4 cuts out in some years and so were worried. They were incredibly relieved and pleased their DS got into their choice of school, and so was I because DS would be at school with his best friends.

GreenTulips · 16/04/2019 21:52

literally anything on social media could upset someone else. stop taking it personally. something someone is proud of isnt a direct attack on others

Yes BUT if a friend was upset at X news you wouldn’t be jumping up and down excitment in their face would you? Yet it’s OK because it’s ‘just’ FB

PrincessDanae · 16/04/2019 21:53

Instead of FB we were WhatsApping each other as soon as the allocations went online!

KitKat1985 · 16/04/2019 22:03

I don't think it's boasting exactly, but I think some people should post with a bit of sensitivity to the fact that some parents are going to be pretty upset today with their allocated choices.

Someone I know has a son with an older sibling already at their preferred school, and live just down the road from said school, and therefore because of sibling priority were pretty much guaranteed a place at said school. And yet since yesterday morning there has been multiple posts along the lines of 'so nervous about tomorrow #SchoolAdmissions' 'Won't sleep tonight #Waiting for results' etc etc which feels a bit put on as it was never really in doubt given that they had a priority allocation space because of older sibling. And then predictably when they got into their preferred school today I've seen again multiple posts including staged photos of youngest child posing with school sign with 'so pleased we got school x'. #Preferredschool #MoreFuckingHashtags And she has also set up a Facebook group for parents joining said school this year. There's a real air of her being the first parent in the world ever having a child go to school. I'm struggling not to post telling her to calm the fuck down.

CalleighDoodle · 16/04/2019 22:04

*literally anything on social media could upset someone else. stop taking it personally. something someone is proud of isnt a direct attack on others

Yes BUT if a friend was upset at X news you wouldn’t be jumping up and down excitement in their face would you? Yet it’s OK because it’s ‘just’ FB*

social media isnt compulsory. in fact, for some people it is very damaging to their mental health and they should probably avoid it. It would make sense for people who cannot cope with other people's good news, to avoid social media on days like this.