Child neglect or something normal?

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

Not a party here, just something I noticed and wandered people's opinions.

So, when I went shopping today to a local to a local supermarket , as I went in I noticed a child (5-6 years old?) with a big shopping bag and an older lady talking to the child. I assumed they were together. At the tills the same old lady was agitated, complaining to the casshier and waving a phone around, saying she was about to call social services or whatever. Turned out the child was in the supermarket on their own, doing weekly shopping (the bag did look quite big and heavy), and apprently told the lady they lived a block or two away, and that their mother sent them to pick a couple of things. For the reference, I live in a city. The lady thought it was unresponsible of the mother to send child shopping unaccompanied when it's dangerous, they could get kidpanned or whatever, plus they had to carry the heavy bag on their own. But by the time she got the phone, the kid took the shopping they paid for and left and she was unhappy the supermarket staff did not think it approoprate to have alerted someone about it. The casshier was saying she saw the same kid shopping before on their own as well, but she deemed it normal.

That got me thinking- I was brought up in a large city myself, used to go back to school and come back on my own, there was nothing unusual with kids going shopping without parents (admittedly to pick a couple of things parents may have forgotten, not a weekly shop!), we spent a lot more time unsupervised in the play area. I do get things get more dangerous, plus there is an issue of how much the kid had to carry.

What is everyone's verdict- was the lady overreacting, or should it be something that would worry you?

The thing is, the world isn't more dangerous. We have, as a society, never been safer. It's just attitudes have changed and there's now constant rolling news of all the terrible things.

That said, I wouldn't send a 5 year old to do a weekly shop, mostly because they'd come back with 5 boxes of Cheerios and a packet of biscuits.

No that for me is not normal, I might get a very sensible 10-11 year old to do what he is doing, not a young child.

The child’s age would mean it would worry me. Big difference between a 10-12ish child getting a few bits and a 5-6ish year old.

IMO the kid on their own is not an issue depending on the child's age and level of capacity and distance to the shop.

I don't think the world has gotten more dangerous these days. I think if anything the world is probably statistically safer, but society tends towards fear.

I'd have been concerned too. its not normal for children that age to be out alone.

If the child is 5 or 6 then I would class it as neglect. Around here playing out without an adult or going to the shop up the road for sweets starts at about 8.

I used to go shopping when I was 5 and a lot further than just a block. In the area I used to live you still see kids that age going to the shops for their parents. It’s considered a normal thing amongst certain immigrant communities. My neice is 7 and does this too; she can handle money, knows what to do if she’s approached inappropriately, and has been raised to be a bit streetwise.

Five or six is too young in my opinion. Possibly they are a family in need of some support.

A 5 year old being sent to do a food shop is most certainly an issue, statically safer world or not.

I would have also been reporting. What competent parent sends their 5 year old food shopping? You just don’t, there must have been something else going on.

A 5-6 year old shopping alone? I would be concerned about that and good for the woman for intervening.

Did you walk to school, go shopping etc in a large city when you were 5yo? In reception?!

A 5-6 year old sent to do shopping in a supermarket on their own? That's a Year 1 child, far too young. Lady WNBU. That's would indicate to me that the child may be acting in a child carer role at a very young age, raising a flag about her parent/s having difficulty coping in general. Was the child really that young? It's more debatable if was a 9+ year old (Key stage 2 upwards child), but not a 5 year old. That would get a CSD child concern referral in our town, even just to check out things are ok at home.

Around 10 years old would be fine. 5/6 years old is far too young.

I’d be intrigued to send my son to do a weekly shop just to see what he would get - I imagine petit filous, cheese and golden nuggets would be for tea.

But that’s appalling to send a five year old to do a shop alone, regardless of how safe it may be. What if they have a fall or get lost or god forbid someone says they’ve come to pick them up and they get in a stranger’s car. I’d have done the same as the woman in the shop!

Wow! I can't believe people are even thinking this is ok!!!

It is NOT ok at all for a 5 year old to be going shopping by themselves a couple of blocks from their house, in a city!! Wow! I wouldn't leave my 5 yr old alone in my own house and I definitely under no circumstances would allow him to go and do a food shop in a city environment without me!!! Crikey!! Anything could happen between leaving the front door, walking along the streets, getting to the shop, walking around the shop, and getting home. Even now when my 5 and 7 yr olds come shopping with me, I worry a bit if I loose sight of them for too long, and I would not allow them yet to use the men's toilet on their own!

I'm not particularly over protective, they (DS1 and Ds2) are quite independent kids within limits. But this is excessive.

This is definitely a safe guarding issue and I would suspect that had social services been alerted, they would have found a hell of a lot more going on in that child's family :(

Good for the lady to have alerted the store, and what a shame for that kid and his/her family that they have missed out on someone potentially coming to help them.

Are you in the UK ,you talk about blocks ?Here in the UK that would raise alarms but I don't know about different countries?

I'm shocked that none of the shop staff have raised this with social services. Whilst it's not child abuse, it does raise questions about the level of responsibility the child has been given. Perhaps the family need outside help from young carers or other such agencies.

Are you sure the child was only 5/6? Someone once called the police to say that they had seen a child of 7/8 with a backpack waiting at a bus stop and they thought they might be running away. It was my 12 year old son on his way to the library.

Sorry my previous post should say child neglect, not child abuse

One of my friends lives right next door to Morrisons. She sent her youngest son out shopping regularly from a young age. At first she let him buy a few things whilst she waited outside. Then it was one or two items or a treat for him. She sent him with her older child a few times. There is one slightly dangerous bit in the car park which she really went overboard on. He has been helping out doing the weekly top ups rather than full shops on his own from about the age of 8. He looks younger but acts very mature for his age.

She's raised him really well. He helps cook, makes hot drinks and helps with housework. She has some mobility issues but as far as I can tell - he's her son not a carer. I would worry about a young child being a carer at that age.

To be fait, not sure if they were 5 or maybe older, they looked small, but could be a smallish 7 year old? Didnt pay that much attention as thought they were with the lady. My first instinct was what Teddybear45 said- that in some communities it's a normal thing, but you don't see it much around where we live.

@x2boys yes, in the UK (watched quite a few American police series, vocab stuck in my head:))

The only way in which the world is more dangerous now is the amount of traffic on the roads. That would worry me with regards to a six year old shopping on their own.

Personally I wouldn’t and I wouldn’t deem it to be normal either, but neither do I believe that the supermarket have a duty to retain the child, although I can see why the woman might have given SS a call.

But what she was doing isn’t illegal,even if we don’t think it appropriate. How did the child look otherwise? Well dressed? Well fed?

My first reaction was to think that the child was some kind of child carer and that the authorities may well already be aware of her. Unfortunately there are over a million children between the ages of five and eighteen who are child carers in this country, and I’d bee inclined to think that she was one rather than that this was deliberate or wilful neglect.

No it’s not normal and I would find it very concerning.

At 10 or 11, the same age many children start getting more independence and walk home or get the bus home from school, then yes but aged 5 or 6, no way.

I wouldn’t do it, and I think it’s concerning. My first guess would be that parent is ill today or disabled.