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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that dp’s friend stayed round till 00:30 this eve chatting

66 replies

Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:14

It’s a bloody Monday night and don’t most people have to get up to go to work in the morning? I have to get up at 7am. Dp works from home so can get up whenever.
We’ve had a row about it because he woke me up when he came to bed finally.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 16/04/2019 02:15

Did the talking wake you or just him coming to bed?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/04/2019 02:18

Think yabu if you went to bed anyway. He’s entitled to have a mate round in his own home.

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:18

I went to bet at 11 slightly narked that they were making drinks and I could hear them talking for a bit but I managed to nod off. Then when he comes to bed he wakes me up, not deliberately. But he knows I have sleep issues. This is why I’m pissed off. Having his friend round late when he knows I have sleep issues.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 16/04/2019 02:21

Perhaps his friend needed to talk about something. It's not as if they were having a noisy party by the sound of it.

MarthasGinYard · 16/04/2019 02:21

Yabu

If it was every night then fair enough. But he chatted to his mate til 12.30 and you are this annoyed?

Are you always this touchy?

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:22

@ilovesooty it was just a catch up type thing

I’d have no problem whatsoever if it was a weekend night

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 16/04/2019 02:24

But it's his house too and you said you nodded off while he was there.

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:24

@marthasginyard
Honestly, no.
I’m tired but I can’t sleep because I’m agitated and I have to get up early tomorrow, this is why I’m touchy

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/04/2019 02:25

Still think yabu, even with sleep problems.

Nicknacky · 16/04/2019 02:26

But if his pal hadn’t been round and he had just came to bed late then that would have woken you?

ilovesooty · 16/04/2019 02:26

So do I I'm afraid.

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:27

@ilovesooty I know you’re probably right

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 16/04/2019 02:29

I hope your sleep improves soon.

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:29

Aibu aren’t I

Going to try and sleep now

Thanks all

OP posts:
Alicewond · 16/04/2019 02:30

You are so angry at him waking you because you need to sleep, yet you go online to complain about it, rather than try to sleep again? Yes YABU he’s an adult and if he wants to stay up late he can

MarthasGinYard · 16/04/2019 02:33

I'm a light sleeper to so I do have sympathy Thanks

Rottencooking · 16/04/2019 02:40

@Alicewond Look at the post time. Almost 2 hours since he came to bed. Pretty sure OP has tried to sleep since and can't, hence posting on here. It's not difficult to comprehend that even without sleep issues if something wakes you up and pisses you off not everyone can just instantly doze off again, and lying there for hours upon hours with your eyes closed is equally shit! Never mind with!

Alicewond · 16/04/2019 02:45

@Rottencooking but it’s still unreasonable, being angry with your other half for having fun, then staying awake angry for hours just to post on the internet and be told yes you are being unreasonable.

Theoldwoman · 16/04/2019 02:52

How often does this happen? Can't you shut doors? Despite you having sleep issues, he's entitled to have mates around. Maybe they had a lot to catch up on? If he always put your issues first, he wouldn't have anyone around, would he!

LucyBabs · 16/04/2019 02:55

alicewond I get the impression op has found it difficult to get back to sleep after being woken. Lots of people once awake find they can't get back to sleep.
I can sympathise I have awful sleep patterns. I used to be an experienced sleeper :-) now I shift between insomnia and excessive sleeping

Blondebakingmumma · 16/04/2019 02:56

Sorry you have sleep issues BUT YABU

Alicewond · 16/04/2019 02:56

@LucyBabs that must be hard, feel for you :(

Blondebakingmumma · 16/04/2019 02:57

He could have needed to use the toilet during the night and also woken you without meaning to. You are directing a lot of anger towards him because you have issues sleeping

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:59

@theoldwoman it happens fairly regularly in terms of him waking me up. This is mostly because he comes home late sometimes, in addition to him just not being tired enough to sleep till way gone 11:30. But him waking me up because a friend is over is rare.

I just don’t like being woken up when I know I’m gonna find it tough to get back to sleep. Hence me posting this is not so much about his friend per se but more me trying to do something to calm myself from agitation. It’s actually helped to be honest...I genuinely feel much better being told I’m unreasonable. I’m no longer agitated at him.

OP posts:
AvengersAssemble · 16/04/2019 03:00

Oh get off MN and go back to sleep. Seriously lots of people work, have kids and get up earlier without needing their partner to not be allowed a friend over!