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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that dp’s friend stayed round till 00:30 this eve chatting

66 replies

Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 02:14

It’s a bloody Monday night and don’t most people have to get up to go to work in the morning? I have to get up at 7am. Dp works from home so can get up whenever.
We’ve had a row about it because he woke me up when he came to bed finally.

OP posts:
Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 03:00

Also can’t shut doors as he took the doors off the other week (we’re in an open plan house)
Though I can shut the bedroom door

OP posts:
Rottencooking · 16/04/2019 03:09

OP I'd invest in a white noise machine, earplugs and wireless earphones to use interchangeably. I'm sensitive to noise and use all of these things. I play a sleep playlist on Spotify using the wireless and have the white noise machine running in the background constantly.

Rottencooking · 16/04/2019 03:09

I'd also put the doors back on... open plan house? Fuck that!

Alicewond · 16/04/2019 03:12

@Basilneedswaterandsun your main complaint was that you have to yet up at 7am. Yet you are still posting so this isn’t his fault now, even if it ever was

Original poster
Basilneedswaterandsun · 16/04/2019 03:25

@Alicewond
I have tried to get back to sleep several times. It’s not like flicking a switch!

OP posts:
LucyBabs · 16/04/2019 03:26

Thanks alicewond

amandacarnet · 16/04/2019 03:30

Sorry I think Abu. I have to get up for work at six am and have stayed out as late as that with work the next day. It sounds like a one off, not a regular pattern. So no big deal.

SpinneyHill · 16/04/2019 03:41

You're an adult so your sleep is your responsibility. You sound like a nightmare to live with

Blondebakingmumma · 16/04/2019 04:13

You are lucky your partner doesn’t snore! I honestly could have killed my hubby when I had a newborn, so up every 2-3 hours to feed and him snoring like a bear when I’m trying to get an hour sleep before the next feed.
Have you seen a dr about the sleep issue?

Squigglesworth · 16/04/2019 04:52

I'd be annoyed, too, especially if your partner knew you needed to get up early and have trouble sleeping. He could've been more considerate. If he's going to stay up late he should be much more careful not to disturb you when he comes to bed!

Mememeplease · 16/04/2019 04:58

Sorry but these are your sleep issues to sort. You can't really expect dp not to have a normal life in order to tip toe around you.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 16/04/2019 05:11

I sympathise with sleep problems.

But you cant expect your partner to live by your schedule, never have friends over etc because of it.

LawnsLT · 16/04/2019 05:26

LTB

cranstonmanor · 16/04/2019 05:47

If he wakes you regularly you could try separate bedrooms maybe.

OwlBeThere · 16/04/2019 07:27

YANBU OP, I think for people who don’t suffer with insomnia etc it can seem like you’re being petty and over reacting, but I’m a chronic poor sleeper and this would really bother me. No, it’s not your DPs fault you suffer but a bit of consideration for the fact you have to be up early would be nice.

OwlBeThere · 16/04/2019 07:29

@Spinneyhill, that’s a bit of a daft thing to say, if someone else’s noise is what wakes you.

Wheresmyvagina · 16/04/2019 07:29

I have similar sleep issues. I would find it very difficult to share a bed with someone who has such a different sleep cycle. Is there a spare bed he can sleep in when he wants to come to bed late?

Vulpine · 16/04/2019 07:32

I wouldn't have a friend round till that late on a school night. Your op is an inconsiderate arse. Being regularly woken up by a later to bed partner can drive you mad. I hope you feel ok today op.

TitianaTitsling · 16/04/2019 07:33

in addition to him just not being tired enough to sleep till way gone 11:30. But if he's not tired till then he's not tired. Surely you don't expect him to go to bed exactly when you are?

gamerwidow · 16/04/2019 07:36

Everything feels worse when you’re tired. I think the occasional late night with a friend is reasonable but I can understand how frustrating it is not to be able to sleep if you’ve been woken up. Hope you got some sleep in the end!

starabara · 16/04/2019 07:42

My husband and I would be on a short trip to divorce if we policed what time each other went to bed and what time we could chat to friends until. A raucous party on a weekday we would be considerate of the other person and avoid, but chatting in the kitchen? YABU.

sackrifice · 16/04/2019 07:57

Also can’t shut doors as he took the doors off the other week (we’re in an open plan house)

Why?

CalleighDoodle · 16/04/2019 07:57

dh has his friend round until 1am every so often on a week night. i go to bed. he always wakes me up getting into bed as he seems to have no idea how to move around without stomping, or get into bed without slamming his fat arse down on the mattress and disturbing me. i feel your pain.

Bahhhhhumbug · 16/04/2019 08:03

So is he supposed to go to bed at the same time as you because you have trouble sleeping and might be woken up accidentally by him getting into bed?
His mate round is a red herring here, him coming to bed later than you woke you..
You can't give an adult a bedtime in their own home.

Vulpine · 16/04/2019 08:06

It's a bit inconsiderate to consistently go to bed late and wake your partner. Sleep is more important.

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