Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

We're a shoes off household by preference - in fact, I prefer to step no further than I have to into the house with outdoor shoes on, but DH will wander all the way into the kitchen whatever the weather then wonder why the laminate floors get dirty.

If guests come though, I wouldn't ask them to take their shoes off. I do wish people would ask though - I think that's the only way to breach the divide!

*host's. Apologies for typo. As more important than your host's time spent cleaning their floors.

Makes me feel a bit ill at the thought of putting my feet into slippers that other people have worn. Do you wash them between uses?

You will likely be wearing socks though wouldn’t you ? Then you would put that sock in a washing machine wouldn’t you?

If you wear my slippers with bare feet , then yes I would wash them. I do wash my guest slippers. And keep rubber ones in the toilet.

Do you think it’s cleaner for people to step with their bare feet on the germs and dirt you brought into their house? Do you wash the bottom of your shoes before entering someone’s house ? Or after every outing ?

for the shoes on people.
When you wake up and get dressed do you put a pair of shoes on even if you know you're not going out anywhere?

I'm shoes on in that I don't expect anyone coming in my house to take their shoes off, and unless asked I wouldn't take my shoes off in other houses. Having said that, if I'm at home I don't wear shoes generally. I wear a comfortable pair of leather flip flops in the house, or go barefoot, or if it's cold enough to need socks I'll either walk about in my socks or wear slippers. It's about comfort not hygiene though, I prefer no shoes. I don't have any carpets, but was the same when I did.

I would (and have) take slippers to a friend's house because my feet get cold and I'd much rather take slippers around than track muck and snow and dirt into my friend's house. It's just being considerate, why wouldn't you?

Always ask.

Keep them on. It's rude to ask people to remove their shoes. I don't know anyone who does this - only on mumsnet.

I don't want people's manky feet on my floors and carpets. Keep your shoes on!

I have never been to a house (in the UK) where I have been expected to take my shoes off and I would never dream of asking anyone else to do so. It's common sense to remove muddy wellingtons; but what's the problem with ordinary shoes?

Crawling children etc seem to have survived completely unscathed

I would remove them if asked but would never presume to. I always tell people not to bother in my house. I have a hoover and mop with for when the floor gets grubby.

@ILoveMaxiBondi bit of a sweeping generalisation there!!

I look for shoes in the hall when I go in. If shoes are there I take mine off. If no shoes in the hall I ask the host if I should take my shoes off. Pisses me right off when people come to my house, see our shoes neatly lined up (or thrown there by the kids) and still don't even ask if they should take their shoes off. And of course I'm way too polite to request that they do. So I have to look at their dirty outdoor shoes all over my carpets.

I'm a community mental health nurse, I'm sometimes asked (usually in Muslim families for some reason) and will remove if asked. However, some of the houses I visit are minging.

Spider, it is perfectly acceptable in most Muslim households I visited to ask for a pair of slippers. It’s also part of their culture to offer that to guests..

As a mental health nurse dealing with hoarding, of course you are going to be dealing with minging homes whether Muslim or not.

I would’ve also assumed that the standard for people dealing with such cases would be to bring those shower cap type things that they put over their shoes.. which is also acceptable in Muslim households.

You clearly need to adapt more to your patients.

@StrugglingtodomybestIt looks like you do take your shoes off then? You just replace them with slippers. Which is a great option for visitors who get cold feet or worry about them smelling! Take slippers/indoor shoes with you, problem solved and your host doesn't have to have outdoor muck all over their house. Winning all round.

True, but I still think it's rude to ask people to take their shoes off. They are your guest and yet you're happy to treat them as though they are the sort of person who would tread in muck and then walk it into your house? It's insulting. And, call me weird, but I don't want to carry my slippers around with me, I don't even carry a handbag.

Luckily this isn't a big problem for me anyway as none of my friends are shoes off households.

You can't settle that argument, there's no right or wrong answer, different stokes for different folks.

The simple answer is do as the host wishes, how could it be anything else?

I consider it more rude to track snow and muck inside someone else's house. It's considering your dirty shoes as more important than your guest's time/clean floors. Funny how that works isn't it?

I think most people would not expect to go traipsing through a house in soaking wet or filthy shoes, their own or anyone else's, but I assumed most of us were talking about on an average day, when you wouldn't leave wet, muddy footprints after walking a few metres from the car.

@DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops love the fluffy socks!!

In from work. Bra off. Fluffy socks on

If I am about to walk onto carpet I say shall I take my shoes off while taking them off. Reading this I think I will just take them off if there is carpet. Otherwise just ask.

Everyone treads in muck wherever they walk, it's just how it is :) Even a 'clean' pavement will put little stones and dirt into your shoes. BUT, you're quite right - your house and your rules! So long as you'd respect the rules of a shoes-off household should it come to it there should be no problem.

Shoes in the hall could just mean they own more than one pair of shoes each...

Yes i put my shoes on when i get dressed. I usually only take them off in the evening when i want to put my feet up.

I can hear people being freaked out by this but It is what pretty much everyone i know does.

I agree with others that just socks or worse slippers at other people's house is just weird to me. Wearing someone else's slippers!! Having bare feet at someone else's house?! Horror!

I always say "is it shoes off?" Even if I see them stroll in wearing their shoes

You can’t go wrong with off

Yes you can. You can’t go wrong with asking though.

I'd still consider shoes dirty after walking a few meters on an outside surface, unless that outside surface gets pressure hosed every hour. Which.. I suspect it doesn't. Thus leaving your shoes on is still traipsing muck into peoples' houses even if the footprints left are not wet and muddy.

Honestly, you do you if you want shoes on in your own home. But respect those who don't. And those 'too polite' to ask people to remove shoes need to just speak up. It's your house, your rules.

(Just perhaps make the rules known beforehand so a guest has the option to bring indoor shoes/slippers with them if they so prefer)

Yes i put my shoes on when i get dressed. I usually only take them off in the evening when i want to put my feet up.

Your poor feet.

bit of a sweeping generalisation there!!

What’s that?