Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

I stick to the ‘always offer, never request’ policy. We are a shoes off house ( mainly cultural- live in Asia in an apartment and everyone takes shoes off for both hygiene and ( critically) noise considerations). In uk when I lived alone I kept shoes on a lot more.

"I stick to the ‘always offer, never request’ policy"

That's what I do.

I found a cute “shoes off” sign in pound shop might just buy it.

From a logical view point, forget the “norm”..... logically speaking, it’s unhygienic to have shoes indoors... use the germ detector and see how much is on the back of a shoe.

The outside doesn’t get hoovered or mopped... it has dog poo remains, drunk mans urine, pregnant lady vomit, little boys bogies, and old mans phlegm...

You seriously can’t logically convince anyone that London streets are clean enough to bring its content into someone else’s home.. that’s clearly just defending what your familiar with rather than what’s logical.

I always have shoes of indoors I have carpets everywhere though except kitchen toilet and bathroom and I hate shoes inside not only that when I first got my carpets laid someone had stepped in tar or god knows what it was and it never ever came back out the carpet and now has dried jet black in one spot

Funny I once had a guest stay over who brought their suit case and laid sooo much disposable sheets on the bedroom floor to avoid the suitcase touching the carpet and lay it on there... she wouldn’t sleep on the clean bedsheets I offered and instead brought her own as she is particular...

Yet she wore her shoes in and out of the bedroom... I don’t understand the logic at all..

Obviously about half of us here are intentionally making out homes incredibly unhygienic and NOT DYING so it's ok. I don't lick my floorboards Also my cats come in without putting overshoes on, they even sit on the floor with their bare bums!

'From a logical view point, forget the “norm”..... logically speaking, it’s unhygienic to have shoes indoors... use the germ detector and see how much is on the back of a shoe.'

But we don't eat off the floor. And we don't all get ill every time we go outside.
If there was that stark a difference between the hygiene of shoes off / shoes on households, wouldn't someone have noticed that the shoes on people were always getting ill?

Why would you want shoes on indoors though? Genuine question

We're in and out constantly and most of us wear lace-up boots.
We have four border collies, also in and out of the house.
I'm disabled and can't get my own boots on or tied-up.

Even when I get up in the night to walk down the hall to the bathroom I slip my feet into outdoor shoes that support my ankles/feet. They offer far more support than floppy slippers. Needless to say I can't walk barefoot very easily. If someone told me to remove my shoes to enter their home I'd be humiliated and rather than have them sit me down to remove my shoes I'd leave.

Both my late mother and mother-in-law had arthritis in their feet and I couldn't imagine them being told to remove their footwear to visit someone's house.

My (clean) home is very big with tall ceilings and all exposed woodwork. It just doesn't seem the place to walk about barefoot for some reason. Upstairs the other family members wear indoor/outdoor slippers. (Slippers with a outdoor sole).

What to 'off' households do when their visitor is like me, disabled?

We’re a shoes off family. I mop the floor after people leave if they keep their shoes on, so I’d prefer them not too as it takes about 2 hours.

From a logical view point, forget the “norm”..... logically speaking, it’s unhygienic to have shoes indoors... use the germ detector and see how much is on the back of a shoe.

Floors are for walking on, not eating off. People come in and out.

Anyway the debate will rage on. It's a class indicator and consensus will never be reached on MN.

On unless specifically asked to take them off, no one has ever asked though.

Whatever the host wants you to do. I have many pets and hard floors so although we change into slippers when we come home I don't expect others to take off their shoes..

Ann, I would make an exception for you, of course! We shoes off people are not completely inhuman and a very real disability is of course grounds to bend the rules. I would never humiliate a friend like that.

I always offer to take mine off when I go to other houses. But I'm happy for, indeed prefer people to keep theirs on when they come to me. We have cats, wooden floors and no crawling babies. Their shoes are probably cleaner

Shoes on/off threads are my favourite thing about mumsnet.

I consider myself an expert now. Shoes off is more common in the north and among the lower middle class. It’s interesting to see how little people mix outside their tribes as everyone is always aghast that people do it the other way.

Please don’t assume that it’s polite to remove as a default. I really don’t want to see your feet. Take your cue from the homeowners.

Spider, it is perfectly acceptable in most Muslim households I visited to ask for a pair of slippers. It’s also part of their culture to offer that to guests..

*As a mental health nurse dealing with hoarding, of course you are going to be dealing with minging homes whether Muslim or not.

I would’ve also assumed that the standard for people dealing with such cases would be to bring those shower cap type things that they put over their shoes.. which is also acceptable in Muslim households.

You clearly need to adapt more to your patients.*

I wasn't suggesting that the Muslim clients are the ones that have dirty floors, sorry if my post was misunderstood there. I'm happy to take shoes off i'm asked. I meant I wouldn't want to take my shoes off in a home which is generally filthy.

I've been in nursing over 30 years, half of that in the community, I can adapt quite well thanks.

For those saying they don’t eat off their floors:

1- you also don’t eat off a toilet bowl, why do you clean it? Because germs do migrate.

2- you might have kids that eat off those floors.

3- you might have pets that are walking on those floors and then onto your furniture...

4- you might have carpets, which don’t have a way to be efficiently cleaned daily with antibacterial/antiviral detergents... which is basically right now more dirty than your toilet seat...

Yes I also know people who live in the filthiest homes and haven’t died yet. Doesn’t make it hygienic.

You might step on that carpet with bare feet or with socks and then put those on your bed...

For those saying how disgusting it is for someone to take off their shoes and have smelly socks- you shouldn’t have smelly socks if you change daily... unless of course you are stepping on all types of filth while getting ready at home...

I’m definately gonna offer slippers to everyone now.. as socks seems to be equally bad if people have their house floors as clean as the street.

Do you ever go bare feet in your own home or with socks ? Would you do the same in the street ? If not, why you bringing the street to your house ?

We’re a shoes off household but I’ve never asked a visitor to remove shoes and never would. A few friends do offer because they know I’m shoes off but I always say “oh whatever you’re comfortable with, keep them on if you prefer” (some do, some don’t) I actually don’t really care that visitors keep their shoes on. I clean often.

Floors are actually a very poor carrier for germs. The hygiene argument doesn’t stand up to much. If it was a huge problem, they’d be trying to tackle it as a public health campaign.

Also we need germs to build our immune systems. I’d actually guess that shoes on is better for you in the long run.

Off!

Floors are actually a very poor carrier for germs. The hygiene argument doesn’t stand up to much. If it was a huge problem, they’d be trying to tackle it as a public health campaign.

So you find it ok if I spit phlegm on your floor? Let my little child urinate In the corner? Let my dog poop and then I just pick it up with tissue?

Floors aren’t poor carrier of germs.. and carpets certainly are very great at carrying all sorts transferred to them. So the hygiene argument stands

So you find it ok if I spit phlegm on your floor? Let my little child urinate In the corner? Let my dog poop and then I just pick it up with tissue?

Oh come on, apply a little common sense please.

We’re shoes off and none of us are ever ill. It clearly isnt a big deal.

Off

Sorry meant to say shoes on.

We’re shoes off and none of us are ever ill. It clearly isnt a big deal.

But you said you are shoes off..