Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

The fact this issue sparks such debate shows there is no accepted norm. Shoe rack by the door, everyone in the house in socks/slippers I’d probably be taking them off (and always if someone asked me to), otherwise I’d leave them on - unless they’re were very wet and muddy. We have a doormat inside and out and wooden floors so I’m not too fussed - also I hoover daily. We generally wear no shoes inside, but I’m not ocd about this so it’s not necessarily the first thing I do on entering. I think if you expect people to take their shoes off then you should have scrupulously clean floors - scrubbing black-soled socks afterwards is a no-no. I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule so best to check and be prepared to adapt.

^^sorry that should say our shoes hang out, not they hand out lol

Also I’d rather have a quick hoover round than have to air the house to get rid of the smell of malodorous feet.

You might go wrong with shoes off if you don’t have socks on. Bare feet is worse than shoes.

Other people’s socks aren’t that great either

It never even occurred to me to think about it until I moved to a different area with different people well into middle age.
Where I grew up you only took your shoes / boots off if they were muddy, wet or particularly dirty - normal shoes would generally be left on.

My friend came round the other day and was mortified that she had forgotten to take her shoes off.... her immaculate shoes that probably took 5 steps from her front door to the car and then another 5 steps from the car into my house - they were showroom perfect unlike my carpet which is subject to 2 kids and only hasn't been replaced because it cleans well and tends to stay looking not too grubby whatever life throws at it. I funnily enough am not too bothered by shoes on the floor.

what’s so rude about having shoes off? Weird comment

To me it says ''I'm making myself at home'' which is fine if it's your mum or your best mate or something, but not some random who's come to measure up for new windows.

I also don't tend to take mine off automatically as it's difficult as I have arthritis. I will take them off if asked or they are dirty but I need to sit down (not on the floor as I can't get up again) to do so, which can be awkward in some houses.

I have slippers by the door for whoever is not comfortable to just wear socks indoors. Especially slipper for the toilet for hygiene reasons (doesn’t leave the toilet), and few in the hallway for whoever doesn’t like just socks. But our floors aren’t marble otherwise it would be too cold to be shoes off without slippers.

I honestly think it defeats logic to wear shoes inside. It’s almost expecting the host to sanitize the floors after you leave and working out ways to clean the carpets thoroughly.

I’m not OCD or anything. But have a baby crawling and eating off my floors.. but even if I didn’t have, I don’t like the concept of bringing all the urine and germs from the streets into my carpets.. quite yuck.

Definately not in the bedrooms .

@Boysey45 yes, there's always a chair and at least 1 shoe horn in the hall for people to easily take shoes off and on.

OP yes! Take indoor shoes with you, it's not weird or OTT. It's the only polite way to have shoes on in someone else's house. Just make sure the shoes are clean :)

Why would you want shoes on indoors though? Genuine question.

1. don't like cold feet
2. don't like smelly feet
3. don't like feet full stop

When you wake up and get dressed do you put a pair of shoes on even if you know you're not going out anywhere?

No, I put my slippers on.

Do you keep shoes in the bedroom and put them on straight away.

No, I put my slippers on, or flip flops in the summer.

or is it only shoes on if you've been out and then you just keep them on?

If I'm at home, I might keep my shoes on if I've been out and know I'm going to go out again, but I'm more likely to change into slippers in the winter as they're warmer.

Funny that some people think hoovering is enough to clean floors that had shoes from outside stepping on it. You do realise the streets have the same content as your toilet bowl. Do you Hoover that too?

"I always wonder in shoes off households what do you do if the kids are playing in the garden or you've got a barbeque or something where people are in and out of the house. Do you use overshoes or just demand that shoes are removed each time?"

Yes, shoes off every time. It's not that much of a hassle. Kids are very quick to rip shoes on and off, and most adults are able to just kick them off and slide them back on.

People who leave shoes on in the house clearly don't get snow ;)

I can understand it in more rural areas though where there's more mud and cow pats or something. I'm a born and bred Londoner though so it's not something I come across much.

I'm a community mental health nurse, I'm sometimes asked (usually in Muslim families for some reason) and will remove if asked. However, some of the houses I visit are minging. We're often asked by housing providers to assess because hoarding and being unable to keep their house up to standard is a breach of tenancy and they want to make sure the tenant doesn't have an underlying mental health condition before starting eviction proceedings. Trust me you wouldn't want to take your shoes off there.

Sorry, I don't want to sound rude and this is most probably just my issue as I hate feet but this:

I have slippers by the door for whoever is not comfortable to just wear socks indoors.

Makes me feel a bit ill at the thought of putting my feet into slippers that other people have worn. Do you wash them between uses?

Why would you want shoes on indoors though? Genuine question.

Some people’s floors are dirty. I have no interest in walking on my socks in their house then putting my dirty socks inside my shoes. Or if I brought my indoor slippers, they would then Ben dirty and no longer wearable in my own clean floored house.

for the shoes on people.
When you wake up and get dressed do you put a pair of shoes on even if you know you're not going out anywhere?
Do you keep shoes in the bedroom and put them on straight away. or is it only shoes on if you've been out and then you just keep them on?

Presumably for most people it isn't a case of never wanting to be barefoot, rather they don't feel a need to take shoes off as soon as they are in the house, so they may keep their shoes on for a bit after getting in whilst packing away shopping, hanging out washing etc or if they are going out again later, but will take their shoes off when they are settled in and possibly put slippers on.

@Strugglingtodomybest It looks like you do take your shoes off then? You just replace them with slippers. Which is a great option for visitors who get cold feet or worry about them smelling! Take slippers/indoor shoes with you, problem solved and your host doesn't have to have outdoor muck all over their house. Winning all round.

People who leave shoes on in the house clearly don't get snow ;)

You're right in my case!

I categorically wont take my shoes off in other peoples houses - god knows what is on their floors. If they are rigid about it, fine, lets meet elsewhere, I am not judging, I am just not taking my shoes off! People who know me, know better than to ask!

I'd consider it very rude to ask people to take their shoes off. It's like saying that your carpet is more important than your guests. And unless you go round licking the floor, it doesn't really matter if it's "unhygienic" does it.

I think you've hit on the perfect compromise Purplecat! Meeting elsewhere takes away the need for this never-ending debate, I'm all for :D

This argument will never be settled, some people say it's the norm where they are from, others say it not, me included. No-one is right or wrong, it's what you're used to

I consider it more rude to track snow and muck inside someone else's house. It's considering your dirty shoes as more important than your guest's time/clean floors. Funny how that works isn't it?

Why would you take slippers to someone's house??? How bizarre is that? It would be like bringing your dressing gown or something. Or coming round for dinner and having a bowl of Frosties. Way too familiar!