Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

It’s absolutely the norm in the UK for anyone with manners!

I'd do what the host wanted but prefer shoes on.

@NoParticularPattern - Usually even if they say not to bother taking them off I would anyway.

That's a bit rude. You expect people to follow your house rules and remove shoes in your house but yet, you won't afford others the same respect and leave your shoes on when told not to bother taking them off.

Personally, I think people taking shoes off in someone else's house are being over familiar, unless close friends or family. Obviously, if I am asked to take them off in someone's house I will, but I don't feel comfortable with it.

I always wonder in shoes off households what do you do if the kids are playing in the garden or you've got a barbeque or something where people are in and out of the house. Do you use overshoes or just demand that shoes are removed each time?

On for for sure. Unless it’s cultural, E.g. they are Danish then I’ll follow that

I disagree, it is absolutely the norm where I live in the uk. I’ve only had one person not ask if they need to take them off, and I’ve lived here a year and a half.
My dog has his feet thoroughly cleaned when he comes in from outside.

You can’t go wrong with off .. but to some you might come across as rude and unhygienic if On.

But if everyone else is stepping on the floor with their shoes I also don’t want their mud on my socks for the rest of the day. So I would ask.

My home is a strict shoes off home. I find shoes on carpets revoltingly unhygienic.

We're shoes off in our house, I automatically take them off in other ppl's houses unless specifically asked to leave them on + hosts are wearing shoes themselves.
Visitors, depends. Tradesppl or playdate pickups, no. Visitors who stay a while, yes. I hate the idea of shoes in the bathroom where we go barefoot after the shower etc.

I have an Asian DH so our household was shoes off, and if I went into an Asian household or if they had a shoe rack by the door then I would take my shoes off. Since we've moved to Ireland we only have shoes off for upstairs, the ground floor is almost all hard flooring, we have a (downstairs only) dog and the DC are forever running in and out of the house so we just mop regularly instead. Plus Irish people would find it weird to be asked to take their shoes off, and often have boots or shoes that are a bit of a faff to take off and put back on.

Whatever the homeowner wants obviously.

Whatever they ask you to do.

We were a shoes on house until we had children. We are now shoes off as I do not want my children crawling/sitting and no doubt on the odd occasion eating off the floor that people have walked all over in dirty shoes.

It is amazing how many of our family refuse to take their shoes off even after being asked. FIL even asked for a chair and sat in the doorway for the visit in a protest about taking his shoes off

FIL/MIL are a shoes on house, they have really old carpet, they love on acreage and track all the mud, filth and whatever else they walk in right back in the house, it's really gross. I hated visiting when our kids were still crawling.

It’s absolutely the norm in the UK for anyone with manners!

Not if the home owner doesn’t want shoes off on their house!! It would be very bad manners to take your shoes off in that case.

I live in scotland and it is very shoes on here. I only know one person who asks you to take your shoes off, my ex boss. It felt very weird having business meetings in her home office with my work clothes and bare feet!

If i am at someones house and i want to take my shoes off (big clumpy boots for example) i always say "sorry i'm going to have to take my shoes off". To me it feels more rude to ask someone to take their shoes off, or to take your shoes off!

I hate it when visiting kids take their shoes off it takes them so bloody long to get them on again

As a guest, I'd assume shoes on unless asked to take them off.

As a host, keep your shoes on, our tiled floors are cold! (We have rugs, but no fitted carpets downstairs). I'll be wearing slippers, but that doesn't mean much considering I sometimes walk outside in them anyway!

@SchoolOfLife2 - You can’t go wrong with off .. but to some you might come across as rude and unhygienic if On.

Of course you can go wrong with off. I think it's over familiar and a bit rude to take your shoes off.

Yes you can go wrong with off. It would look weird and overfamiliar to some people, and others would be worried about your socks getting dirty or your feet being cold.
What you can't go wrong with IMO is offering to take them off.

I don't think manners has anything to do with it. I'd find it over-familiar for people to take their shoes off at mine unless they were muddy. But most of my flooring is laminate anyway.

"I always wonder in shoes off households what do you do if the kids are playing in the garden or you've got a barbeque or something where people are in and out of the house. Do you use overshoes or just demand that shoes are removed each time?"

The barbecue thing is a non issue as we have a hard floor in the kitchen so keeping shoes on wouldn't matter. We have carpets in the hall and lounge so yes, when DD was little and running in and out of the house where the carpets were she took her shoes off, especially if it was muddy. If she was running in and out of the kitchen it didn't matter.

@spidey66 , if we have a party we don't ask for shoes off, we just accept that the floors will need an extra clean. For ourselves we have an old pair of boots and a pair of thongs that hand out at the front and the back door that we put on when we come and go from the house. The kids have gumboots for outside use.

On. My home is stone and wood floors with a dog - as are all my friends/family. I don’t like carpet.

Of course you can go wrong with off. I think it's over familiar and a bit rude to take your shoes off.

what’s so rude about having shoes off? Weird comment

A wicker basket of artesanal embroidered slippers in several sizes for guests is what is actually required here

I’m in my 50s and have lived in the U.K. all my life and very seldom encounter people expecting me to remove my shoes (my sister does and I can remember a school friend whose parents insisted on it, but no one else I can think of).

However I have noticed that a lot of people do take their shows off as they come in, especially young ones. When DC were teenagers we’d know how many friends were in the house by counting the pairs of shoes left by the door.

We recently had a new, pale carpet fitted in our living room and the young adult DC currently living at home after some years away has instigated and enforces a ‘no shoes’ policy in that room. It does keep the carpet clean but DH and I would never have thought to make such a rule and I am sure it will be forgotten as soon as they leave the nest again.

Why would you want shoes on indoors though? Genuine question.

There are lots of possible reasons, including:
Some floors are cold.
You might be going out again very soon.
In summer you may not be wearing socks, so might not want to be barefoot on someone else's floor
What about if people are having a party - guests plan an outfit including shoes and then have to remove them?