Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

Definitely shoes off. I think it’s so rude when people come in with their shoes on and I would never do it to anyone else.

You can keep your shoes on in my house

I always ask if it’s someones house i’m unfamiliar with or I take the cue from the person I am with if they know them better.

@Candymay - I think it’s so rude when people come in with their shoes on and I would never do it to anyone else.

Despite the fact that some posters have said they consider it rude when someone takes shoes off in their house? Why do you think your idea of what is appropriate trumps someone elses?

Isthisafreename my idea of politeness trumps others when it’s my house.
I would ask whether I should take my shoes off at anyone’s house. You can normally tell when it’s expected. I just would never walk in to someone’s home with my shoes on. It is really rude and inconsiderate.

You just check at the door. Honestly easy to see.

Shoes off or I spit in your tea

You check with the host and do as told.
Unless you are really arrogant and difficult.

@Candymay -my idea of politeness trumps others when it’s my house.

Of course your house, your rules but you said you would never "do it to anyone else" when referring to wearing shoes. That's different to asking what they prefer.

Oh gosh. So faeces, phlegm and vomit is better than human feet?

How have any of us in shoes-on households survived?

isthisafreename

No I would never do it to others- walk in to their home in my shoes. I always ask at the door. I’ve had years of struggling with assertiveness and having people wear shoes in my home has been a big issue for me.

You can see at the door when people are a shoes off family. Of course if they prefer shoes on then I leave them on. Most people I know are shoes off families.

Depends on the person/house. I’m a strict shoes off in my house person I don’t want germs on my floor from shoes that have walked through shit mud and other crap on the streets. Some people I know feel the same and others don’t care. I tend to keep my shoes on in those houses.

I can't recall ever having been in a shoes-off household in my life. I've only read about them on MN. That'll do for me.

Oh god I can’t believe it’s now considered rude by some to even ask! Unable to even tolerate people trying to make sure they abide by your rules in your house

I do not support the debate that 440,000 units of bacteria and viruses from animal faeces and diseased phlegm and STI urine is a way forward to increase my immune tolerance.

I don't think this PP has any microbiological training. 4.4x10^5 cells is a tiny amount. You have at least 10 to 100 times that number of bacteria in your mouth. There are more bacterial cells in your body than human cells. But you know what, we have a fantastic immune system that is really good at making sure those bacteria don't make us ill.

Secondly, our mouths are particularly attractive breeding grounds for bacteria. They are warm and damp and there's lots of food and a regular supply of oxygen. Unlike the bottom of our shoes and carpets.

Quick question for all those of you who are repulsed by the notion of all the germs being traipse through your house - does everyone in your house flush toilets with the lid down every time to avoid splashback? If not, do you have special toilet shoes that never leave the bathroom? If not, why aren't you grossed out by all the germs that you are traipsing through your house as a result of the germs splashed onto surfaces from the flush?

@HerSymphonyAndSong - Oh god I can’t believe it’s now considered rude by some to even ask! Unable to even tolerate people trying to make sure they abide by your rules in your house

I don't think anyone has said it's rude to ask. Perhaps you could point me to the post that said that?

I'm reading that some people want shoes off, some want shoes on. Some people will take them off without being asked others won't unless asked. Some people think it's rude to just take your shoes off without asking your host. Some think it's rude not to ask should you take them off.

But perhaps I missed something?

Unable to even tolerate people trying to make sure they abide by your rules in your house

If you have manners, you don’t impose ‘rules’ on visitors. Particularly something that might make them feel uncomfortable.

I’m a strict shoes off in my house person I don’t want germs on my floor from shoes that have walked through shit mud and other crap on the streets.

How do you feel about verrucas, athlete’s foot and other fungal infections..?

I just ask as whether I should take my shoes off, as varies from house to house! Ours is a shoes off as to get to the front door it's incredibly muddy and theres lots of cow and sheep shit.

"You can see at the door when people are a shoes off family."

How?

Isthisafreename

See this post

“I hate being asked. If we are all in our socks and you see a pile of shoes by the door - it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it?”

TatianaLarina

I have a shoes on house and don’t impose any rules about it. But I try to abide by others’ rules in their houses because I am polite

Anywhere I will be staying for a little while... off

If I am just passing or popping in for a short visit, I would offer to but keep them on if the host said to.

@HerSymphonyAndSong

@Isthisafreename - “I hate being asked. If we are all in our socks and you see a pile of shoes by the door - it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it?”

But that poster expected people to know to take off their shoes. They didn't want people asking them should they take them off.

Maybe I misunderstood your post? I thought you were saying people thought it was rude of the host to ask them to take off shoes, not that the host thinks it's rude to be asked as they expect people to take them off without being asked?

Always off for me.
DH and I are both brought up in cultures where shoes inside is a big no-no, so it’s just natural for me to take my shoes off when I enter someone’s home.
I always carry a pair of those little pop-socks in my bag during the summer to put on inside someone else’s house if I’m wearing sandals/flip flops outside