Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

Yes you misinterpreted my post - that people don’t want to be asked by guests is ridiculous to me. They are expecting people to be mindreaders and people are doing their best to be courteous

Leave 'em on, take' em off, who cares? Do what you like; it's only flooring. If you've bought carpet that can't be walked on, more fool you.

Good manners are about making your guests feel comfortable. There are some very bad-mannered people on this thread

@HerSymphonyAndSong - Yes you misinterpreted my post

Sorry about that. I agree with you on that.

Don’t worry I can see I wasn’t clear!

Must admit I think people who ask you to take your shoes off are uptight.

I follow the host's lead. I also feel like it depends on the event. Going into MIL's house for a visit, I take them off immediately. For a dinner party it seems like most people leave their shoes on (usually I guess nice shoes are part of a nice outfit).

Off off off! Unless the host insists not to.

Must admit I think people who ask you to take your shoes off are uptight.

Yep.

The idea that some posters here wouldn't allow guests over the threshold without without removing footwear first is...well, it's peak MN I suppose. I bet they wash their towels after every use as well

I mean, I would hope that friends popping round for a cup of tea etc would feel comfy enough in my house to kick their shoes off if they felt like it, but I would never ask that they do. It's beyond rude, really.

Shoes off, I have white floors so no dirt and I don't want them chipped with heels.

I happily take my shoes off if asked - I usually offer these days anyway. But it's a bit undignified walking around in stocking feet - especially with mismatched socks. I used to live ina snowy country that had slippers available for any visitor. Which obviously I abided by and even bought some for visitors to my flat there. Felt a bit unhygienic but watchagonnado.

I can’t walk without shoes (plantar fasciitis) so visiting a shoes off house causes me pain. Happy to remove shoes and then straight to the sofa (maybe I should ask the host to carry me?)

Off, always!

I'm shoes off in my own home and anyone elses. Why wouldnt you? No point in dragging anything into peoples homes..

I think the class and manners debate on here is a bit misguided. I’m a doctor (therefore I guess middle class, maybe upper middle - if you had to label it). We don’t wear shoes in the house, I take them off in other peoples houses, and ask my guests to do the same. I’m not aspiring to be anything. I just want clean and undamaged floors. All my friends do the same.
I don’t think all these generalisations are helpful.

On unless asked otherwise, I hate bare feet in my house!!

Shoes on unless I'm asked. Iv hard floors downstairs so its fine

Also brought up in another culture where it is the norm not to wear shoes indoors. I don’t think an entire culture can be called uptight!

I don't think this PP has any microbiological training.

What a grand discovery. Might’ve been easier to read that my background is in molecular not micro.

Quick question for all those of you who are repulsed by the notion of all the germs being traipse through your house - does everyone in your house flush toilets with the lid down every time to avoid splashback?

Absolutely I do. Gross otherwise. I keep the toilet lid down all the time when not in use.

If not, do you have special toilet shoes that never leave the bathroom?

I also have toilet slippers that never leave the bathroom yes.

If not, why aren't you grossed out by all the germs that you are traipsing through your house as a result of the germs splashed onto surfaces from the flush?

Doesn’t apply to me?

I also have toilet slippers that never leave the bathroom yes.

That really has tickled me for some reason

'these are toilet slippers, Lynn'

Off.

Unless floors were minging and then I'd need to protect my feet.

If not, do you have special toilet shoes that never leave the bathroom?

We have special bog slippers, as they are totally normal to my wife, as she is Japanese.

we live in fully carpeted homes, so shoes off!

Toilet slippers are usual in Japan!

I am very surprised that some HVs apparently do not ask whether they should take their shoes off? I would expect them to be sensitive to different cultural norms in people's homes.

I always go to take my shoes off and would love if others did the same when they came round mine!

Often though people just say 'oh leave them on' to be polite