Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

I'm disabled and it takes me ages to get shoes on/off, so once on they stay firmly on my feet. If people can't cope with that I'm happy not to go to their house.

If not wearing socks then I take socks with me because I go to lots of baby groups which are shoes off

But I have a crawling baby in a shoes on house. . He is fine

I always ask in other people’s houses. But I don’t want people to take their shoes off in my house unless they are visibly dirty. You do all realise that traipsing mud and snow and dog poo into someone else’s house is unacceptable in a shoes on household don’t you? I know that the invisible poo particles people get terribly upset about it though so I am polite and respectful about taking my shoes off in other people’s houses and prepare myself accordingly

If people had a problem with that SilverySurfer, they wouldnt be very good friends so I couldn't blame you for that decision. I have a shoes-off house, but as previously stated, would always make an acception for a disability like that.

ugh brain.. an 'exception' not acception

Shoes on here but we have hard floors and slate floor which wrecks socks. I used to be a health visitor and I always asked if people wanted me to take my shoes off unless the house was dirty, about 50% would say yes, usually the ones with light coloured carpet. One family I used to visit were from a Scandinavian country and had a special storage thing on the wall in the porch with guest slippers in.

Like the majority of people I suspect, I don't have a cleaner who comes daily - and just how minging is your house that you need that?? Just asking. The thought of someone taking their shoes off in my house is gross frankly - who knows what lurks in their feet, and I cant bear the thought of it!

On!

Just asking. The thought of someone taking their shoes off in my house is gross frankly - who knows what lurks in their feet, and I cant bear the thought of it!

Oh gosh. So faeces, phlegm and vomit is better than human feet?. Mind blown.

For the record I don’t think many people wear shoes without socks, and if they did, there is always slippers for their convenience..

But I still prefer bare feet over shoes.

I am fine with whatever people want in their home. Just don’t see the logic behind people being grossed out by the sight of feet as opposed to by the knowledge of what shoes have actually been stepping on. It’s obviouslt all psychological.

We are a shoes off house.

I would never ask you to remove your shoes.

I don’t like being asked “shall I remove my shoes” because I feel I have to say “no, it’s fine”.

It’s not fine and I will hoover where you walked after you’ve gone home. But I won’t let you know this bothers me.

I love it when people just take their shoes off without comment.

I do this in other people’s homes. The only time I don’t is when the host has their shoes on. This is rare but it happens.

All the posters saying shoes off isn’t the norm - it’s absolutely the norm in houses I visit.

I used to be a health visitor and I always asked if people wanted me to take my shoes off

I hate being asked. If we are all in our socks and you see a pile of shoes by the door - it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it?

Why do discussions like this always come down to class?

It happen a lot on mn.

All the posters saying shoes off isn’t the norm - it’s absolutely the norm in houses I visit

What’s always notable about these threads is that social norms can be very different depending on area/background.

No one I know has a shoes off house.

I'm not understanding why you can't just respond to "shall I take my shoes off?" with "Oh yes please do." It's not impolite! You'll get what you want in your own home, nobody sane will begrudge you (unless they have a disability in which case I assume they'd have made that clear).

I have to tell my brother's family to take their shoes off in my home. Their own home is a shoes off house, but they leave them on everywhere else (I assume SIL thinks everywhere else is too dirty for their poor socks?). Still, they'll take them off when I tell them to, problem solved.

We're a shoes off slippers on kind of house, always have been because my parents home was and I suppose it's ingrained.

I wouldn't freak out over people wearing shoes indoors, though; we've solid wood throughout downstairs because of dogs, cats and smelly teens, so it makes very little different. We do always have guest slippers, though, because the floors can be cold in winter and we frequently have guests.

Why do discussions like this always come down to class?

It happen a lot on mn.

Well there are a lot of threads asking about people's habits and terminology. A lot of the time these things are influenced by social background.

"I hate being asked. If we are all in our socks and you see a pile of shoes by the door - it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it?"

Not really - that might be a house where shoes off is a rule or one where nobody happens to have their shoes on at that moment.
My kids wander round in socks/bare feet a fair bit and I wear slippers, so you might see that in our house too but we don't have a rule and guests can do what they like.

It's the choice of the host, there is no hard and fast rule.

In my home, every guest is free to choose: they can take their shoes off and avail themselves of all the comforts my home has to offer or they can keep them on and examine, in great detail, the delightful shade of lemon chiffon 5 I painted the exposed bricks in the porch with for the duration of their visit.

depends where you live I think. I live in the middle of a big city, people are usually walking along pavements etc before entering my house so I always just say leave your shoes on! Some wooden floors some carpets but rarely anything left from peoples shoes that can't be mopped/hoovered. However I have lots of friends who are more rural, and even when driving there there is a muddy path to walk after parking etc so we all automatically takes shoes off. It really depends where you are I guess and also the flooring a person has. If i entered a new friends house I will always say 'i'll just pop my shoes off' and let them guide me either way.

Well we have a rack of shoes by the door and often wear slippers but we don't always take shoes off or expect guests to. It's not obvious. People should ask if they need clarification and should get the right answer!

The most British thing here is the being so uptight we would rather be massively inconvenienced in silence rather than ask a possibly awkward question or make a polite request!

Off unless you know otherwise. Most people will say 'keep them on' but it's easier to not cross a line if it is an issue.

"I hate being asked. If we are all in our socks and you see a pile of shoes by the door - it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it?"

No, not in the slightest, we don't wear shoes in the house once we're all 'in' for the day or not going out within the next 10 mins, and I don't ask or expect people to take their shoes off if visiting.

I hate being asked

Why? It's not a difficult question to answer is it?

The thought of someone taking their shoes off in my house is gross frankly - who knows what lurks in their feet, and I cant bear the thought of it!

Most people wear socks that are worn for one day and then washed. You think that's more gross than shoes that have been walked all over dirty streets and gardens etc.?

I just say "shall I take my shoes off?"

Not that difficult

I like people to take their shoes off at my house