Please settle an argument .......... in other peoples' houses ............shoes on or shoes off?

[helpamamaout]

On entering someone else's home, should the visitor keep their shoes on or remove them?

If you don’t have a house cleaner coming daily sanitizing your carpets, then you aren’t high of a class enough to escape the hygiene debate.

Well mine comes twice a week and I don't have any carpets or eat off the floor so I'll leave you to you hygiene obsession and continue to allow people to walk about on the floors whilst wearing footwear.

It's not even really a hygiene issue for me. I just don't want to have to mop my floor after every visit 🤣 I shall consider myself fortunate to live in scandiland where it's considered the height of rudeness to leave shoes on (without a medical condition).

'i do not support the debate that 440,000 units of bacteria and viruses from animal faeces and diseased phlegm and STI urine'

Are you suffering from health anxiety? You are starting to sound a bit overwrought.
Since you claim to know about microbiology perhaps you can share a reference for the research that says people commonly catch STIs from urine particles carried in from outside on the soles of shoes.

I ask the home owner unless I already know to do it. Most people take their shoes off when coming into my home without me asking them.

What stupid is to refuse to accept the hygiene debate behind it and assume it doesn’t exist.

Nobody has stated shoes are germ free.

What I find odd in these debates is the fact that shoes off people really cannot seem to accept that others choose to do things differently. Questions like "why would you want that, why would you traipse filth in etc, etc". Most people on the shoes on side seem to accept that shoes off people have a valid opinion, even if they don't agree with it.

Yes, there are a small few using "class" to insult shoes off people, but the vast majority of insults are coming from the shoes off side. Which is a little ironic, given they are claiming leaving shoes on is rude.

Disclaimer: I think most people, while they might disagree with the opposite opinion, will, in real life, go with the flow.

I really don't understand why it's considered rude if someone asks you to remove your shoes in their house? Surely is their home and they decide. If you want to keep your shoes on in your house that's fine, that's your choice. In our house, we're a strict shoes off and if you didn't want to take your shoes off that's fine, we'd stay in the kitchen/diner where we don't have carpets

I’m not allowed to have a different position as to request they remove their shoes in my home

I’m certainly not saying that. Your home your rules. I don’t particularly like taking my shoes off, but if the owner wants that I absolutely will.

or that I might assume by accident that they want mine removed in theirs.

Just don’t assume your norms are everyone else’s norms. But having said that, I wouldn’t say anything if you did take them off. It wouldn’t be my preference though.

Whatever the hosts do. If they are wearing slippers, then I ask.

Just don’t assume your norms are everyone else’s norms I like this. It applies to much of life!

‘Would you like me to take my shoes off?’

And then follow suit. I don’t mind people wearing their shoes downstairs In house where it isn’t all wooden flooring. No shoes upstairs though.

Well my initial response was that I would assume I need to take it off “shall I take off my shoes?” At any door... and the response I got was that it’s “rude” and “overfamiliar”.

I haven’t claimed it’s “rude” or haven’t judged anyone entering my house with their shoes assuming I’m ok with it.. I simply stated I would ask them to take it off, or offer them slippers as a hint.

To which many are saying it’s “rude” and judging my class hierarchy.

Hence why the debate started on the fact my opinion might be backed by some scientific facts and so their superiority complex does need to vanish.

I've never asked if they want me to take my shoes off and never will, if someone wants me to take them off they just need to ask, but then be prepared for "no probs but you should know I have 4 verrucas and don't carry spare socks, can I borrow some please"

I think over recent years I've only been to one house with the shoes off rule. And typically it was the day I didn't wear socks (they preferred shoes to me borrowing socks )

I think it’s a class thing too and would associate it with lower middle class/aspirational types. I bet the Queen doesn’t expect people to remove their shoes - even in Balmoral.

I always take mine off, and ask visitors to do the same at my house. I don't want outdoor muck spread across my house.

On the same note, I don't like bags or cases that have been on floors put on beds.

It’s absolutely the norm in the UK for anyone with manners!

Says who? This part of the argument always makes me laugh. Do Debretts and Nancy Mitford even cover the shoes on/off debate?

I really don't understand why it's considered rude if someone asks you to remove your shoes in their house?

What, you don’t understand that the principle of manners is to make people feel comfortable in your house? Really?

they preferred shoes to me borrowing socks That is nutters @Metooandmetoo ! I would have leant you my fluffiest, nicest socks!

To be fair Tatiana, I am at my most comfortable without shoes on :D

@SchoolOfLife2 - Well my initial response was that I would assume I need to take it off “shall I take off my shoes?” At any door... and the response I got was that it’s “rude” and “overfamiliar”.

Asking should you take your shoes off is, of course, not rude. I would consider it rude and over familiar for you to simply walk in and take them off.

Hence why the debate started on the fact my opinion might be backed by some scientific facts and so their superiority complex does need to vanish.

The validity of your scientific facts to public health can be disputed given the research suggesting a certain level of exposure to germs is important in developing the immune system and avoiding allergies.

Also, I certainly don't have a superiority complex regarding my attitude to shoes. I recognise that people have different attitudes and norms. I respect others' opinions while still retaining my own.

In my home shoes off, I'd never go to anyones house and keep my shoes on.

Even if they asked you to?

To be fair Tatiana, I am at my most comfortable without shoes on

So you can take your shoes off in my house if you want. The travertine floors are quite cold tho...

I have clean wooly socks and would likely bring chocolate! Travertine floor is so pretty

We’re a shoes off family. I mop the floor after people leave if they keep their shoes on, so I’d prefer them not too as it takes about 2 hours.

Is this a stealth boast? How big must your floor be if it takes 2 hours to mop?

It isn't really the norm in the uk to remove shoes but if I arrive and hosts have shoes off I always ask. I find it odd if there isn't a chair to sit on to remove shoes and I pile of slippers though. Obviously if my shoes are muddy I take them off.