Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

523 replies

breakthepattern · 14/04/2019 19:31

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

OP posts:
pinkboa · 14/04/2019 22:39

I'm a person A type of person...

But in this case I'm with B...

My children eat everything but risotto!

TotHappy · 14/04/2019 22:43

Crikey, it's a pretty obvious combo in the recipe! I'm amazed at all the people saying they wouldn't try it!

TatianaLarina · 14/04/2019 22:43

Why is this food even new?

YourWinter · 14/04/2019 22:49

I wouldn't like that meal at all, and wouldn't be surprised at children under 7 disliking it either. I like rice served with curry, or chilli, or Chinese, just don't like risotto. I would not expect a child to go to bed hungry and would let them have something else that was quick - a wrap is ideal, or even cereal and fruit or yogurt.

Obviouspretzel · 14/04/2019 22:55

Why are people making out sage and squash are such exotic things that they , even as an adult, wouldn't eat? A basic herb and a normal vegetable? Can't see what's so strange about a risotto for kids?

Quartz2208 · 14/04/2019 22:58

they are not exotic but sage (to me) has a strong taste I simply do not like

DH hates coriander (like a percentage of the population it tastes like soap)

A simple risotto isnt a new Jamie Oliver recipe for a very young child

DrWhy · 14/04/2019 23:08

I was kind of person A this evening. I made a frittata out of last nights leftovers for dinner, DS(2.5) refused point blank to even touch it, let alone pick out the pieces of potato, broccoli, carrot etc that he normally happily eats. If he’d tried it and disliked it I’d have given him toast but as he didn’t we stuck with the rule that he can have fruit after regardless of what he eats so he had an apple, some strawberries and blueberries. He’d had a massive hot lunch, an afternoon snack and plenty of milk so I’m not feeling too cruel.

Whoops75 · 14/04/2019 23:12

Fussy eating will pass, you’ll only do harm by making it confrontational.

EncroachingLoaf · 14/04/2019 23:21

I love that people are getting in a froth thinking that many of us won't eat it 'even as adults', won't try it or aghast that we don't like the sound of it as 'it's not even exotic'.

To clarify, as one of those saying I wouldn't want to eat it.. of course I would try it and probably eat a whole plate if served it by someone... but I don't think it sounds nice or to my taste at all. I don't think it's exotic in the slightest though Confused

SilverySurfer · 14/04/2019 23:24

I didn't say it was new or exotic just that as I don't eat squash or rice or pine nuts, for me it would be inedible.

AGnu · 14/04/2019 23:31

We don't tend to cook food quite like that but we do have a rule that any meal we do cook we expect them to eat that day & if they really don't like it we won't do it again. If they hated it so much they'd rather go hungry than eat it then we would provide a basic alternative but that's never yet happened. Not since they were toddlers, anyway. We tend to do meals that are separate bits like chicken/rice/veg rather than altogether like a risotto so there should always be some parts of the meal they can eat.

writerperson · 14/04/2019 23:32

I always did person B response, but wish I'd gone for person A response as I really regret how it all went in my household.

I have two DC age 16 and 12 - both are gradually growing out of fussiness to some extent but still both very specific about what they will / won't eat. They refuse to eat vegetarian foods (and I prefer vegetarian) so now we have a stupid situation where DH has to cook everything (cause as an ex veggie I find raw meat pretty gross) and we spend a fortune on meat which is also bad for the environment. I'm heartbroken that my kids won't eat or like my type of food (I'd have loved that risotto), I'm sad that they hate my cooking. I grew up on stuff like risotto, lentil soups, etc and can't understand why anyone would prefer boring things like sausages or plain meat!

I didn't want to force them to eat things they didn't like so always offered alternatives but boy do I regret it. I would never have FORCED them but I wish I'd just never offered the alternatives, maybe just some fruit after dinner so they didn't go hungry.

drspouse · 14/04/2019 23:39

I would not really serve a whole meal of unfamiliar foods (e.g. if risotto for the first time, I'd probably do pea and bacon).
Rule in our house is try everything, eat what you like, no alternatives.
I particularly dislike having to jump up and get things for people when I want to be eating. It's bad enough when DS, who has SEN and zero patience, wants seconds before we've finished our first helping.

SpriggyTheHedgehog · 14/04/2019 23:41

That wouldn't have guarantee anything, Writerperson. You can do the same thing with fifty different people and you'll get fifty different results. They just don't share your tastes, and likely wouldn't no matter what you'd done.

tomatosalt · 14/04/2019 23:59

I can’t believe how many posters think your risotto is some kind of outlandish delicacy. Apparently pine nuts (a highly nutritious and tasty food) are ‘poncy’? Squash and pine nuts are normal, healthy foods that children should be exposed to. Chicken nuggets and fish fingers are occasional foods not normal meals.

Sunonthepatio · 15/04/2019 00:08

I agree with A.

Sunonthepatio · 15/04/2019 00:09

@drspouse

Rule in our house is try everything, eat what you like, no alternatives.
I particularly dislike having to jump up and get things for people when I want to be eating.

This!

keepforgettingmyusername · 15/04/2019 00:12

I'm person B. My child is a plain eater and there's nothing wrong with that. If he doesn't like what I've offered I'll leave it a while and give him some pancake and banana or something. No one should be forced to eat something they don't want to eat, or left to starve when they can't make food for themselves.

fascicle · 15/04/2019 00:14

BertrandRussell
I didn’t know nut allergic people couldn’t eat pine nuts, by the way. I am glad I do now, for future reference!

People who are allergic to nuts/seeds are not all allergic to the same things!

AdaColeman
Pine nuts are actually seeds, so nut allergy sufferers might well be OK with them.

Quite a few nuts are in fact seeds (e.g. almonds and cashews) - a nut allergy sufferer may well also be allergic to some seeds.

OhMyDarling · 15/04/2019 00:18

I am B.
Person A is mean and controlling.

OhMyDarling · 15/04/2019 00:19

Actually, I’d never make that kind of meal in the first place- my kids don’t have refined enough palettes to like it, in fact nor do I!
I’d be on the toast and crumpets with them.

BlackCatSleeping · 15/04/2019 00:23

I don’t really get the need for all this A and B nonsense. You could have just gone to the parenting section and asked it straight.

For what it’s worth, these days, the eat it or go to bed hungry approach isn’t recommended. As others have pointed out, it’s better to introduce new foods alongside familiar foods. So, in this case, I’d have served a smaller bowl of risotto alongside bread or something else that you know your kids will eat. In this way, meals become less of a battle.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 15/04/2019 00:24

YABU for giving a child ham as it’s carcinogenic. However, I would offer a (healthy) alternative if the child tried, but genuinely disliked, the first choice.

VladmirsPoutine · 15/04/2019 00:28

Don't think either is being unreasonable. Given B would have been satiated with a ham & cheese wrap it's swings and roundabouts really. Not as though they were asking for a lamb stew as an alternative.

That said - for a child under 7 I wouldn't make it into a battleground situation.

TheSerenDipitY · 15/04/2019 00:48

well.................
you could make one family meal and everyone just bloody eat it, or......................
you could inquire what every single person would like to eat and then make 4 different meals every night ( or even every meal) , just like they were eating in a restaurant
and sometimes they will change their minds and want something different to what they previously asked for, so you can make a whole new set of dinners in addition to the 4 previously ordered dinners already prepared
I guess you need to decide if you wish to set this precedent or not, just make sure you stick to your guns either way.... i had a friend who would make one family dinner and when the 6 year old threw a tantrum that she didnt like it would get up from the table, leaving her own dinner to go cold and would make the child a different dinner, often the 2nd dinner also wouldnt be acceptable, so she would make a 3rd dinner.... dont be like that