About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

In my case, I would never serve just a one-pot meal as someone wouldn't like it, so I'd probably serve mini foccacias, corn salad, some meat balls and small bowls of risotto. In that way, everyone should get fed and hopefully a good balance of carbs, protein and veg. It just takes the pressure off just having one thing all mixed together.

Eat it or have toast.

I can’t believe how many posters think your risotto is some kind of outlandish delicacy. Apparently pine nuts (a highly nutritious and tasty food) are ‘poncy’? Squash and pine nuts are normal, healthy foods that children should be exposed to. Chicken nuggets and fish fingers are occasional foods not normal meals.

Im 50 and I've never eaten risotto in my life never mind pine nuts or squash! The only squash I've had is orange and comes in a glass!

Another definitely person B here.

But ds1 has aspergers and is a bit restrictive in what he eats so I have become used to catering for different tastes. When I was little I had an even more restricted diet than ds and didn't start liking more foods until pregnant with ds3, so understand where ds1 is coming from.

When I do something previously untried for a meal I generally have a rough idea who will be most likely to like it, who is most likely to hate it and who can go either way. I always have an easy other option in case of people not liking food, normally chickeninuggets/fishifingers (see a different thread for spelling) and waffles, but as ds1 is 18 and ds2 is 16 they can sort cooking them. Also ds1 can't bide the texture of bread most of the time and won't touch salad unless in fajitas so having plenty of that as sides to replace main meal doesn't work.

Ds2, ds3 and ds4 generally eat most things, but I won't make them just have bread and butter/ham sandwich as a replacement either, unless that is what they want, even though they eat it. They have had to make some allowances for ds1 with his aspergers, if they see him getting a 'proper' meal when he doesn't like the main item and they only get bread and butter when they don't I don't want them to get resentful. But I am generally laid back about what we eat and about shoving something easy in the oven for 15 minutes while I eat my food.

So I'll either anticipate who won't like the new meal and do something different for them but still have them try the new meal, or another way is to do a meal for the boys and a new meal for dh and me. The boys can try our portion and if they like it will have it next time I cook it.

I have a particular recipe for a curry ds3, dh and I like, but other three boys don't like. I do that curry in the oven and a Korma made from a jar of sauce on the hob, but use the same rice for everyone, so not a problem. The first time I made the home made curry that is all I did but was prepared to do nuggets for anyone who didn't like it. Little did I realise 3 boys wouldn't like it so they had nuggets and we had double helpings leftovers of curry that night.

Ds1 and ds2 don't like mince, ds3 and ds4 love it. On Tuesday we are having lasagne, ds1 and 2 will have nuggets. I think ds1 lives on nuggets and fajitas. (Actually, he hasn't had them for about 2 weeks so is overdue some, he is probably having withdrawal symptoms by now.)

AdaColeman
Pine nuts are actually seeds, so nut allergy sufferers might well be OK with them.

Quite a few nuts are in fact seeds (e.g. almonds and cashews) - a nut allergy sufferer may well also be allergic to some seeds.

Pesto which is supposed to be made with pine nuts will often have cheaper cashews or other nuts substituted. I would guess most nut allergic people would know that - but I once nearly served someone with a nut allergy a nut laden meal because I didn't realise the new to me cheaper brand of pesto I had bought that week was stuffed full of cashews.

Im 50 and I've never eaten risotto in my life never mind pine nuts or squash! The only squash I've had is orange and comes in a glass!

...and this makes you happy because....?

People criticising the meal are failing to grasp the entire point of the thread. You have to focus on the actual question, which is whether you offer alternatives.

Whether or not you actually like the meal is irrelevant. And in one or two cases you sound like the children.

I would have left out the sage for kids that age. It’s a bit of an acquired taste. My husband and my sister would have opted for the sandwich if I had put something containing sage in front of them.

We do B.

I don't cook an alternative, but will either make an accompaniment that works with our meal (or assist with eating it) or they have something quick eg toast or a sandwich. I'm not running a cafe and there isn't a menu for dinner choices.

However, the children do get to choose the favourite things and certainly older DD understands that sometimes she gets her favourite and sometimes it's someone else's.

Good point made on the risotto being ‘slaved over’

Sounds like op isn’t overly gifted at cooking if it’s hard work to make a risotto so I dare say the risotto is probably even more revolting than tasteless wet rice usually is.

My eat-everything teen would pull a face at butternut squash

Maybe all the people behaving like spoiled toddlers over risotto on here have only had one that wasn’t carefully made? It takes at least 30 minutes of careful attention to make a good risotto- and that’s not including the preparation time.

I've had plenty of risottos(home made and in Italian restaurants) I didn't care for any of them. I just don't like the texture. I'm not a fussy eater though do have textural issues(autism) and like anyone else I have foods I like and dislike. It doesn't mean that I haven't had a good risotto.

I don't find them very satisfying to eat either.

I can’t believe how many posters think your risotto is some kind of outlandish delicacy. Apparently pine nuts (a highly nutritious and tasty food) are ‘poncy’? Squash and pine nuts are normal, healthy foods that children should be exposed to

Amen sister.

But then food threads on here always make me a bit depressed (and not at all surprised about obesity figures in the UK).

Risotto is the ultimate baby friendly food. Both of mine loved it from very early on. Squash too.

Jamie’s basic recipe for risotto is great. It’s served me very well over the years.

I really don't agree with forcing children to eat something they really don't like. You wouldn't do it as an adult so why should you do it to a child?

I've had 2 very fussy eaters, one is now a strapping teenage boy who will eat anything, one still in the fussy stage but if seen with DS that they come round eventually.

It's frustrating when you've cooked something that you think is lovely but they take one mouthful and instantly hate. I just have to take a deep breath when DD would rather have a ham sandwich than the paella I took an hour preparing!!!!

I'm also with you on this one op. As long as your kids didn't do this all the time, then if they didn't like it I'd make them something else and not make them go hungry or force them to eat what they didn't like.

Even as adults we don't eat what we really don't like. So. I've no idea why some people think children should be forced to.

I don't really agree that there are 'adult tastes' and 'child tastes' and I would be person A, so long as the child is neuro-typical and does not have weight issues.

That said, I would have a salad and bread on the side so the children could fill up on that if they really couldn't force themselves to do it. But how will a child learn new tastes if they know they'll always be allowed something else so long as they swallow down a bite?

That said, I speak from a place of privilege with two kids who will eat absolutely anything. I understand not all children are so easy with food.

I would totally force myself to eat something I don't like if I was a guest in someone else's house, but my dad was born pre-war and my mother in 1945 so there was definitely an air of 'waste not want not' in my childhood home.

Also, how is it that so many people don’t like pinenuts? They are fucking delicious.

I love risotto (kids are cooking it for tea tonight)
Squash....meh, it's ok.
Pine nuts...like eating soap.

Different strokes for different folks

I looove pine nuts :D

@SingaSong12 to answer your question, I am a person A type and I started right away from the moment they started solids. That way alternatives was never an option and they have never expected it to be. As for genuine dislikes, we've only come across one and that's my 2 year old with marmite (so I expect she may change her mind as she grows, maybe). She made it clear she didn't like it, even with no alternative offered. My siblings and I were raised this way too and we have several genuine dislikes between us - I don't like asparagus, my brother doesn't like curry, another doesn't like lamb. These are all genuine dislikes and were discovered despite there being no alternatives offered. It's okay!

B-ish. I make sure that there's already an alternative they will eat as part of the meal - rice or pasta, for example, as well as plain veg. They have to try what I've made but if they don't eat it, fine, but they have to at least finish their vegetables. No snacks otherwise until next meal, apart from fruit or veg. Works pretty well actually because if they don't like it they fill up on broccoli etc as well as some point carbs and then snack a ton on bananas, carrots etc because they're still hungry from not having eaten main meal.

My mum never made alternatives. I loved everything, so was fine. Brother was raised exactly the same way and was extremely fussy, always picked at his food etc. Even as an adult he's pretty fussy.

The problem with squash is it’s tasteless, Sage is very strong and pine nuts are quite a delicate taste (for want of a better word) so your meal could very easily become overpowering with little taste other than a big mouthful of sage.
This is obviously going to be too overpowering for a child to eat let alone enjoy.

If it had been something more child friendly and they were refusing or being picky about things they liked before etc then I probably wouldn’t make a different meal or if I did it would be very boring and plain. I do think this time an alternative was reasonable.