About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

I think some people just don't like some textures/tastes and that's ok, why should everyone like everything?

I can't eat shepherds or cottage pie, or any mince in gravy but I will happily eat mince in a tomato sauce like a lasagne or spag bol or cannelloni.

I still remember sitting at the table after everyone else had finished, trying to swallow cold nasty shepherds pie (served with beans ffs, as if shepherds pie isn't bad enough on its own. Gravy mixing with beans if just disgusting) Crying an heaving and chewing and chewing and just not being able to swallow it because I was made to eat it.

I wouldn't make my kids do that if the genuinely didn't like certain things.

It's like baby food though, how is it an adult taste?

The people I know with food issues would not come on here calling other people’s preferences gross, disgusting and rank.

God, I remember heaving over school dinners...

A. If you don't like you don't have to eat it but you don't get anything else. Helps weed out the genuinely doesn't like from the just I don't like everything!

I've had to eat food I didn't like before our of politeness so it doesn't kill anyone.

If they genuinely didn't like it I wouldn't serve it again.

This approach took my son from eating virtually nothing to eating almost everything. And he has ASD.

There was never any pressure applied at mealtimes though. He knew in advance what the rule was and he made the decision to eat or not eat.

We had a week of tantrums when it was initially introduced when we had to hold our nerve and then he accepted it (aged 6/7 ish). He was virtually eating nothing though so something had to be done!

I didn’t call anyone else’s preferences disgusting or rank Bertrand. You’re the one who was flinging gendered insults around aka “drama queen”.

If serving something new, I would always try to make the side dishes something I know the fussy one likes, and perhaps serve some optional bread, so they can then fill up on that.
Although I would never NOT serve something the fusspot didn't like. Life doesn't always give you your favourite situation, who should every meal time? Sometimes in life you just have to make do. Obvs not if it's your birthday or your wedding breakfast...
When they say "why have you put X on my plate, you know I hate it" I say "I know that, and one day you will try some by accident and realise that actually you DO like it after all".
This happened just last week with couscous.

“ didn’t call anyone else’s preferences disgusting or rank Bertrand. You’re the one who was flinging gendered insults around aka “drama queen””
I didn’t say you did. And “drama queen” is a unisex insult.

You are trying to bully me into backing down by inferring that I did. I did not.

And of course drama queen is a misogynistic, gendered insult. The clue is in the name.

Strepsil, Michael?

I am very sorry i’ve upset you, whodafeck I hadn’t seen your posts when I made my remark about reasonable people and drama queens, and my subsequent amendment about it applying to NT people. I certainly did not target any posts at you, I am not bullying you or wanting to back down. As I said, I am sorry I upset you- it was not intentional. And drama queen is certainly used to describe/insult both sexes in my world!

I see there is a bun fight going on but can I have the ham & cheese wrap please, can't stand squash 🤢 sorry OP.

Do you never think to just be kind? Instead of assuming the worst, Bertrand? Just because someone isn’t behaving in the way you think is “normal”, you throw around insults and the means you know damn fine well and rightly what you are saying is offensive.

Many many people who think they are just weird and odd about food, especially women and girls, will have undiagnosed issues as per statistics on autism and the guest post by the professor on here. Irony is not lost on me.

I’ve never heard drama queen used other than as a gendered insult. As I said, the clue is in the name.

can I have the ham & cheese wrap please

Sorry, apparently ham causes cancer, cheese is full of hormones and carbs are bad for you, so you can just have some air instead.

If you don't eat your air, then you are getting nothing.

But that's about what you dislike - my point was more about how much you dislike what you dislike.

My point was that some people who claim to ‘heave’ over vegetables can apparently wolf some seriously revolting food without a murmur, thus the gagging is simply histrionics.

@whodafeck

Bertrand part of my DD diagnosed anxiety and ASD is texture and other sensory issues.

She’s not a drama queen and your statement is

Sigh. Whodafeck, Bertrand does not mean your dd. I also took notwithstanding non-NT people as taken in read in Bertrand’s post.

I can’t think of anyone less likely to bully you on MN.

ASD diagnoses cover roughly 1.1% of the U.K. population, I’m not sure that under-diagnosis can possibly cover the other 99.9%.

You think that burgers are disgusting, Tatiana when they're a perfectly normal food. What's disgusting to you isn't to others, and vice versa. It isn't that difficult a concept.

The thing is, for DD, it’s a whole texture/smell/taste combination.

She can eat certain things if they are cooked in a certain way, because it’s the texture that turns her.

Or something else it’s the smell and taste.

It’s really limiting and it’s strongly tied in with ASD and her sensory issues and for it to be degraded in the way it is on this thread (do I mean dismissed/made fun of? I’m not sure) is really unhelpful and unsympathetic.

It doesn’t affect anyone else. Why would you make someone eat something that sends them into a spiral just for the sake of proving a point because you think they’re a “drama queen”? Why not just be kind and tolerant?

Whodafeck- this has been a long thread with a lot of judgement about other people’s food choices, suggestions that people are committing “every day child abuse” and the constant suggestion (not by you) that other people's preferences are disgusting, rank, vile and a whole range of other epithets. In the context, I don’t think my comments were that bad! As I said, I am sorry my remarks upset you- and that I didn’t include NT in the original post. Would you like me to ask for it to be deleted?

I used to heave over eggs - no idea why. I have ASD but I don't think it's that. I trained myself out of it as an adult with a process of gradual desensitizing. I started with an egg mayo sandwich and gradually worked my way up to a Scotch egg.

It certainly wasn't histrionics, but it would have been a bit drama queen ish if I'd made a big fuss about it instead of just accepting that it was my problem, not everyone else's, and most people quite enjoy eating eggs.

“ think the person who thinks Squash risotto is a good idea for 2 under 7YO kids is an idiot.”

How bizarre! It’s one of the favourites in this house (childminder) and it’s also in at least two toddler cook books that I have.

I find that most children will eat what is given to them when they see everyone else enjoying it. Bar allergies and intolerances, which I expect to be told about in advance, I’d encourage but never force.

My eldest DC became a fussy eater when he was four. It has been frustrating over the years but now he has to try a meal and if he really doesn’t like it, he makes himself some beans on toast or something similar instead.

I think the wrap option is fine and B was right to ask.

I would like for you to reconsider the attitude that you know if offensive, that people are “drama queens”. I’m shocked that you would use such an insult, to be honest. It’s so misogynistic and gendered. I am genuinely stunned you used it. It’s right up there with hysteria in my opinion.

What does it hurt you if another person doesn’t eat something? Why did you want to be so horrible? You knew it was offensive.

I have reported it and hw say they’re letting it stand. It’s their site, it’s up to them. I’m not sure how that sits with the raising awareness of under diagnosed ASD in women and girls post, but it’s their site and it’s up to them.

Personally, I think you were wrong to say what you did, and you’ve really gone down in my estimation. I thought you were a feminist I could learn from and looked up to you (silly I know) and that post has honestly shocked me to the core.