About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

I think some of it is around ( in this instance) the child.

With DD1 I'd be Person B, as she's really good at giving things a go.
DD2, OTOH, is a pain in the neck who would live on cheese sandwiches if she was let, so with her I'd probably be A, but make sure she'd had enough at other times of the day which would mean she wouldn't be really hungry.

I think that making other people (children or adults) eat food they dislike demonstrates complete ignorance of basic biology and an authoritarian personality

But no one's making the child eat anything.

They can eat the risotto or not have dinner.

Where's I think a willingness to churn out endless multiple meals for children who (for example) liked chicken on Tuesday but don't fancy it on Friday is the sign of a weak-willed people pleased with too much time and money on their hands.

My 2 yr old would love that, his favourite things I make are rice pudding and butternut macaroni cheese. He does eat most things happily, but sometimes refuses a meal.

If it's lunchtime I don't worry as he can have a snack later. If it's dinner, then he gets toast and a yogurt so he's full for bedtime. I wouldn't be making a second proper meal.

Fussy eating is often a sign of a person with high sensitivity to flavour.
Ds has a hyper sense of smell, I think this is just one part of his issues with food.

Ime it’s generally a sign of indulgent parenting.
And often it isn't, but statements about ....indulgent parenting, parents only feeding their children shit or it all being nurture rather than nature .....are useful in making people on threads like this feel like the big fucking I am when it comes to feeding their children, so crack on.

Where as
people-pleaser

Is it possible to turn predictive text off?

B was right.
It's important to try new things and not make up your mind before even seeing if you might like it, but having done that and formed an opinion it would be mean to force the child to eat something they really don't like.

My son who is now 36 was told to eat what I gave him as there was nothing else. We had no money at the time. Mind you he liked food and would eat anything.

They can eat the risotto or not have dinner.

Failing to feed your own child is abuse.

I would have thought haddock, greens and potatos was a perfectly acceptable meal for a 2 year old (my 2 year old also has disgestive issues. You have my sympathy!). Of course I'd have deboned it before handing it over but such it is!

You FIL does sound like a bit of a twat though cantkeepaway, if he's using food and your children to get at you.

That's hardly failing to feed a child Maria, don't be so hysterical.

are useful in making people on threads like this feel like the big fucking I am when it comes to feeding their children, so crack on.

If that’s how you approach the internet, maybe you need to get out more. My view is based on my personal experience. The children I know who eat everything have parents who don’t indulge fussiness.

Our rule is, you must try (and actually taste-not just hold the offending food item to purses lips whilst grimacing ) and if you really don't like it you may have a slice of bread and butter and/or fruit from the bowl.

Not as a one off it isn't.

Seriously how far removed from the real world are you? Do you not think it's completely minimising the cruelty suffered by children who are actually victims of abuse to trot out that absolute non-events like this are somehow at all comparable to abuse.

Maria has lots of form for trotting out controversial bullshit on any topic you fancy, pay her no heed.

I know, her views on the further education boards are a particular joy. I always tell myself I won't engage....

The last time I forced mine to eat something it was a gwyneth Paltrow thing with chickpeas and lamb. Both said how horrid it was but did eat it. When dh and I sat down to eat it later they were right it was truly vile we couldn’t eat it either felt very mean!

There is a big difference between "forcing a child to eat" and refusing to offer an alternative though.

It's a bit of a strange thing to expect children to eat what's put in front of them when the process of deciding what to eat is rather different for adults.

I’m a nanny and my rules are don’t eat but get nothing else. And I find no snacking between meals helps them eat better.

I always tell myself I won't engage

There's something addictive about it, I know

I'm not on the education boards much. I'll look out for that.

Oh I dunno... roasting the squash, toasting the pine nuts, making the stock from scratch, delicately frying the sage leaves, stirring the risotto rice continuously in the one-direction only whilst carefully adding ladlefuls of stock at a time - I would feel that was a meal that had been "slaved over" too

Surprising the amount of adults here who wouldn't eat this fairly standard dish. The PP who served up new ingredients for dc to try first time as a side dish sounds like the best way to gauge their tastes before serving it as a main course. I'd have given them a sandwich rather than forcing them to eat a risotto they didn't like (as long as they tasted it first).

I don't make a second dinner but this has never been particularly well tested as DS has always liked most foods.

Sometimes DS will just not eat dinner at all if he's too tired or just doesn't fancy it maybe.

I never make him eat anything and try really hard to not even do any encouraging - I just let him eat or not, whatever he likes. I have, of late, found I've had to limit some elements of dinner. This is more a politeness issue - so he'll want to eat all the naan for example, or pick all the carrots out a tray.

Everyday child abuse is a bit like everyday sexism - behaviours that have been normalised by habit over decades (or centuries). Still fundamentally wrong when examined forensically.