Ok, so I'm prepared for a flaming on here, but I'm asking as I don't have kids of my own and I'm unsure whether I'm being a bit of a walkover or whether this is perfectly reasonable and one of those things that you'd only understand when you have them sort of thing.
Dsis (step-sister, not that it matters, though might help to know she's older and a bit of an age gap). Has a 3 and a half yr old + baby on the way. Was a single parent initially as the dad went AWOL when she was pregnant, so been through some tough times. Now in a relationship with a lovely guy, hence baby number 2.
So here's the AIBU. DN has a lunchtime nap. Lunchtime nap can only be at home. Needs settling time before nap. So any meet ups have to be first thing, as 11am/11.30 is about the cut off. Now when dsis first had the baby, parents (who are over an hour away, as we both moved to our nearest city) made a point of always arranging meet ups which were baby friendly, so that dsis didn't feel excluded, which I understood. This has just naturally continued.
Im not a raging party animal, but for a while now I've found it a bit tiresome that any family get togethers have to be planned for first thing in the morning. Dsis doesn't like to plan anything for later in the day in case DN doesn't sleep well and so might be cranky, or might be sleeping later than planned and they'd be rushing. Because parents live a bit of a distance we can't do and hoc on the day, so it's always mornings.
I'd been prepared to grin and bear it, but then it occured to me that with baby no 2 on the way it's going to get a lot more restricted, even if she's blessed with another easy sleeper it's going to be another 3-4yrs of breakfast meet ups.
I've got a couple of friends who have children and while socialising is obv less spontaneous than it was before kids, I don't remember it ever needing to be quite so timetabled as this. I get that children can be massively different re how well they sleep/don't sleep, so this might be part of it. Also dsis was a very anxious new parent, which is entirely understandable for a FTP but especially for one who is unexpectedly going it alone. But I also remember that before kids dsis was quietly assertive - not demanding, but in MN style 'that will/won't work for me' so things often did end up in a way that would accommodate them best (eg things like going to venues that suited her taste/budget/preferred location).
I know that dsis is not going to change her parenting because it doesn't suit me. But AIBU if I start asking parents to meet up outside of baby friendly times? It's difficult because they're reluctant to show favouritism. But the alternative is my relationship with them suffers because I just can't tolerate another brunch!