Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 11 12

Original poster

To think you shouldn't ask a vegan to buy you meat/animal products?

292 replies

Ragnasath · 14/04/2019 14:56

A younger relative told me yesterday in casual conversation about how her housemate at university often asks her to pick up meat or animal products from the supermarket for her.

There's a few of them living together and all buy their own food but will all take turns buying loo roll, fairy liquid etc that are communal. My relative said that often when it is her turn to go and get these things, a particular housemate will often say 'can you pick me up some ham slices/ Cadbury chocolate' etc whilst you're there. This relative is a passionate vegan and feels very strongly against animal cruelty etc and has been vegan for 5 years as a result. She said that she'll usually say no to the friend because she doesn't want anything to do with the purchase of animal products but will offer her a vegan alternative (i.e I don't feel comfortable buying you cadburys but am happy to get you oreos or bourbons instead etc). Apparently the housemate often gets annoyed at this response and will roll her eyes about how she's being ridiculous because housemate offers to give relative the money to buy the items so it's not coming out of relative's pocket. Relative still says she wants nothing to do with the purchase of animals or animal products.

The relative says she never asks her friend to pick her up any snacks or food because she doesn't want to feel like she has to reciprocate by buying her housemate food which goes against her values.

I think it's pretty awful of the housemate to put her in that position tbh. You wouldn't ask a committed Muslim to pick you up a bottle of wine would you and I don't see much difference in this scenario

OP posts:

Belenus · 14/04/2019 18:07

Well then friend has to go out and get it which uses extra fuel which adds to pollution. Way OTT

They're students. Chances are they're walking or cycling to the shops. Besides, if you really wanted to apply that logic, you'd do one grand shop for the whole village while you were out. And you don't, do you?

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2019 18:07

“You can hold personal beliefs and follow religions without judging others. It’s what rounded people, who are comfortable with themselves do.”

I agree you can. Very few of the meat eaters on this thread appear to be able to though. An astonishingly judgemental lot!

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2019 18:09

I would say no if someone asked me to buy them cigarettes or porn. Is that OK?

AnyOldPrion · 14/04/2019 18:15

For example, both my sister and one of my good friends are vegan. Their choice and I admire them for it. I am well acquainted with farming and slaughter houses as my work involves both. I choose to eat meat.

I provide them with vegan food/eat in places where vegan food is good when in their company. I wouldn’t expect them to cook meat or animal products for me.

I respect their choices and they respect mine. It’s what adults do.

My life is different from theirs. There are many aspects to a person’s life, and to judge based on any single criterion is simply wrong.

AnyOldPrion · 14/04/2019 18:16

”I agree you can. Very few of the meat eaters on this thread appear to be able to though. An astonishingly judgemental lot!”

Haven’t read the full thread, but if that’s the case, they’re equally ignorant.

Friedeggsandcustard · 14/04/2019 18:22

I’m not a vegan but always used to refuse to buy cigarettes for flat mates. I broke my rule only once for a flat mate who had just had knee surgery... we lived uo 80 stairs and no lift!

It is NBU to buy products you find unethical.

LadyRannaldini · 14/04/2019 23:10

I'm vegan and would be ok with non-meat items; meat/fish etc would be a flat no from me. A little compromise helps in these situations...

So a non-vegan can refuse to buy your choice of food? It seems that everyone has to respect a vegan's principles but a vegan doesn't have to respect other people's principles, Maybe that's why they're so 'popular'

Bibijayne · 14/04/2019 23:25

Not vegan (or veggie) and I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I think this 'friend' is trying to bait your younger relative. Especially if they continue to do it. Asking once? Fine. Asking repeatedly after your relative has said no and that it makes her uncomfortable. That's mean.

Ihatehashtags · 15/04/2019 02:28

She/he sounds so precious and would be a nightmare to live with. They don’t have to eat it.

Rosesaredead · 15/04/2019 05:01

I think that's a bit precious to be honest. I used to work in an office where an assistant was hired to do the sma office jobs and one thing she was expected to do was to nip out to the shop each day to pick up milk to make teas and coffees for clients. She used to refuse and ask me to do it instead as she was a vegan (not my job). I thought this was similarly precious and pedantic as the milk was being bought and consumed whether she was the one handing over the money. I did it though, good excuse for a mini break while I could pretend I was just being helpful 😏

Bess66 · 15/04/2019 05:04

Are you vegan too OP?

TrianglesAreOddlyShapedSquares · 15/04/2019 06:01

Completely unreasonable. It is no different to picking up any other food item.

Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 06:18

Tbh the friend sounds like a bit of a CF. If she wants other bits and bobs for the shop then she should go and get it herself! I'm not a veggie at all but she has every right to refuse to buy whatever she wants, whether it's because she has a moral objection or just because she doesn't want to. Very different to a family situation where you are buying food for everyone to eat.

Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 06:20

It seems that everyone has to respect a vegan's principles but a vegan doesn't have to respect other people's principles, Maybe that's why they're so 'popular'

It's not about 'respecting principles,' you can't just demand things from the shops and insist that people run your errands for you.

Belenus · 15/04/2019 06:46

Ah, this old saw. Could it be that people don't like vegans because maybe they're not quite as secure in their choices as they like to say they are?

If I'm popping down the shops and offer to pick things up, I can refuse to get anything I don't want to. I'm not stopping you from doing it, I'm just saying I won't. I can refuse to buy cigarettes, alcohol, pork, porn, the 15kg sack of pet food you cba to lug home yourself. I'm doing you a favour. I'll pick up a few stamps if it helps out but I'm not somehow obliged to buy anything that fundamentally goes against my principles.

You want it, you go out and buy it.

longwayoff · 15/04/2019 06:51

Well, er, just say no. Not doing it now or in the future so don't ask me again. Get the eye rolling over and done with in one go.

fluorescentorange · 15/04/2019 07:00

If your relative was that passionate, she wouldn’t buy Oreos or Bourbon biscuits as they contain palm oil. I am a vegan and I would buy meat with someone else’s money, they are still going to buy it whether I fetch it or not.
I think your relative is a little precious.

SimonJT · 15/04/2019 07:04

Veggie here, I personally wouldn’t buy meat for someone, but then again I wouldn’t let it in the house so I would be a disaster in a house share.

I smoke, I wouldn’t be bothered if someone refused to buy fags for me.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 15/04/2019 07:10

I think she's being a bit precious. I don't smoke or drink but would buy those things for others.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 15/04/2019 07:13

Vegan here. Would not buy meat/fish/dairy in the same way that most people would probably not buy dog meat.

speakout · 15/04/2019 07:19

So I am guessing than none of the vegetarians or vegans refusing to buy meat on this thread have dogs or cats?

BertrandRussell · 15/04/2019 07:27

I do hope people have noticed that the only rudeness or judgement on this thread has come from meat eaters!

BigChocFrenzy · 15/04/2019 07:33

Why is it only vegans who have to be perfect ?

I have refused to buy cigarettes for even a close friend, or allow smoking in my house,
but I don't refuse to use e.g. cars which also produce very unhealthy fumes

People accept my principles about cigarettes (several family members who smoked & died of lung cancer)
but accept it's impractical for me to ban all sources of air pollution from my life

I'm a meat-eater, but I don't require vegans to be "perfect" before I respect their beliefs,
any more than I expect a Christian to always turn the other cheek and live in poverty because they give all their money to famine relief.

Animal products are so ubiquitous in the complex chains that enable a developed country,
that to 100% avoid even indirect harm to animals all vegans would probably have to commit suicide.

Willow2017 · 15/04/2019 07:37

Dont be ridiculous!

A vegan doesnt have to buy meat for someone else just because they chose to eat it any more than a non vegan has to fetch and carry for someone else on a regular basis.
Flatmate has been told she wont buy meat more than once why do they keep asking?
Just because she eats meat doesnt mean she has any more rights to her lifestyle than a vegan has!

Actually nobody needs to give a reason for not being someone elses personal shopper than "No."

Hoplittlebunnies · 15/04/2019 07:39

I'm not vegan and love meat - I would never, ever ask a vegan or vegetarian to purchase something on my behalf that went against their own wishes. It's just common courtesy surely?!

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 11 12