To think you shouldn't ask a vegan to buy you meat/animal products?

[Ragnasath]

A younger relative told me yesterday in casual conversation about how her housemate at university often asks her to pick up meat or animal products from the supermarket for her.

There's a few of them living together and all buy their own food but will all take turns buying loo roll, fairy liquid etc that are communal. My relative said that often when it is her turn to go and get these things, a particular housemate will often say 'can you pick me up some ham slices/ Cadbury chocolate' etc whilst you're there. This relative is a passionate vegan and feels very strongly against animal cruelty etc and has been vegan for 5 years as a result. She said that she'll usually say no to the friend because she doesn't want anything to do with the purchase of animal products but will offer her a vegan alternative (i.e I don't feel comfortable buying you cadburys but am happy to get you oreos or bourbons instead etc). Apparently the housemate often gets annoyed at this response and will roll her eyes about how she's being ridiculous because housemate offers to give relative the money to buy the items so it's not coming out of relative's pocket. Relative still says she wants nothing to do with the purchase of animals or animal products.

The relative says she never asks her friend to pick her up any snacks or food because she doesn't want to feel like she has to reciprocate by buying her housemate food which goes against her values.

I think it's pretty awful of the housemate to put her in that position tbh. You wouldn't ask a committed Muslim to pick you up a bottle of wine would you and I don't see much difference in this scenario

People just hate vegans. The responses would be completely different if it was a religious objection rather than an ethical one. The housemate should have stopped asking after the first time the objection was explained, what a dick.

Yup. This is correct. I’m veggie myself and it’s amazing how much vitriol is directed against vegans these days. It is not sanctimonious to live the life you feel right. I’ve never seen a vegan proselytise but I have many many many times heard meat-eaters bang on and on about how terrible vegans are.

This is just like a non-smoker saying she won’t buy cigarettes, or a Muslim person saying they won’t buy pork.

But because it’s a story about a vegan we get the aggressive meat evangelists showing up to call this woman names and say all vegan food is rubbish.

Honestly, I know not all meat-eaters are like this, but those of you who do this are just as boring and tedious as the vegans you claim to despise.

Curious as to how far such an attitude would go ? Could someone (for example) refuse to stack tins of spam if they work for a supermarket ? Or indeed pass packets of meat over the scanner if they worked on the tills ?

It's completely different if it's your job, then I'd expect the vegan to handle meat or find a job elsewhere but that's completely irrelevant in this scenario.

Fair enough not to buy the meat products, but why make it such a big deal about ‘going shopping’. Presumably uni housemates don’t plan their activities together so why doesn’t your relative just pick up the shopping whenever it suits her rather than make some sort of announcement that she is going shopping?

If it's anything like my uni days I'd imagine it's a case of one housemate saying to the other 'we've run out of toilet roll, please could you pick some up' and then perhaps housemate said 'and get me ... too'. I highly doubt relative stands up and makes a grand proclamation that she's going to go on a mission to buy loo roll!

Diesel, 'Also laughing at the person saying they wouldn't ask a vegan to buy ham if it needed slicing from a bone at a deli counter or buying a pack of ham. You know that it has all been sliced from a bone? Cognitive dissonance at it's finest there...'

Yes, I do know it's all been sliced from a bone and I don't have cognitive dissonance. Thank you for the condescending question though.

I meant (I didn't think I needed to spell it out) that I think the relative could be expected to understand that a vegan might not want to watch meat being sliced or to buy a whole fish or a recognisable leg. A pack of something looking processed and wrapped up might be a different matter.

The Housemate has been told no several times and the reason why, yet she still makes a point of asking again and again and then rolling her eyes and complaining. . Doesn't matter what the item is. She's a bully and ought to do her own shopping. .

I'm vegan and I still but ham and some meat for the children and my husband . I hate it but I limit it to this and won't buy lumps of meat . If it's her choice not to buy it that should be respected .

Staunch carnivore here. I think it depends on the reason for the veganism. If it’s simply that you don’t like eating meat, I see no reason not to pick up a meat product at the shops for a mate.

I can't see veganism ever being about not liking meat. Given everything else that has to be avoided to eschew all animal products, it's pretty much always a moral stance.

I think the housemate is reasonable to ask and I think the vegan is reasonable to refuse in response. The unreasonableness probably comes after with the whole eye-rolling on one part and "would you like oreos" on the other.

I'm fishitarian. I don't buy meat other than fish for anyone because I hate going near meat. You have to go in the meat section of a supermarket and it smells different, or in a butchers and that makes me want to heave. I don't try to convert people in any way. My own stance is after all a compromise. I just don't want to buy the stuff.

I won't buy cigarettes or porn for other people either. You want it, you make the effort to get it, I'm not going to.

If this were for religious reasons and the flatmate still kept asking and rolling her eyes it would be bullying and discrimination and the flatmate may well be asked to leave the flat, veganism is no different.

Absolutely not fair to ask this. Would it be ok to ask a Muslim or Jew to buy pork.

”Obviously vegans see being vegan as the morally superior choice. That's why they're vegan, no?”

No, there are some decent vegans, who make their choice based on their own feelings on the matter, but recognise others might have equally assessed the situation and come to a different conclusion.

Then there are those who are sanctimonious and judgmental and assume they are morally superior, despite the fact they know nothing about the other person’s life and reasoning.

I am a vegetarian and I would refuse too.

A couple of years ago my mum could not get out to go shopping so me and DH went for her. She wanted things like bacon, ham and some other meats.

Sounds silly but we both struggled with which bacon and ham was the best to buy. It all looked disgusting to us. I ended up asking another customer for some advice.

'based on their own feelings on the matter' - these typically being that they feel veganism is more moral than consuming meat and animal products.

If you didn't believe you were making a more moral choice then why the hell would you go to all the effort of cutting out lots of food? Just for pure fun?

“Then there are those who are sanctimonious and judgmental and assume they are morally superior, despite the fact they know nothing about the other person’s life and reasoning“
Ah yes. The ones that are either 15 or exist in the imagination of people on threads like this.

The pig is dead anyway so it's not like they'd be saving the animal by not buying it.

YANBU. I'm Muslim and would never be asked to buy pork or alcohol for anyone, nor would I actually do it if they did.
Completely inappropriate of your relatives housemate to ask and to then get arsey about it.

So if you were a vegan check out operator at a supermarket would you refuse to scan cheese, bacon etc?
This is also a transaction.
There are women wearing a hijab working at my supermarket who scan though pork and bacon and take money from me.
Are these people supporting an industry too?

I don't eat meat or dairy. I am not precious enough to call myself vegan.

A checkout operator is making a choice to work there. It's part of the job (and is presumably why many hijabis in the supermarkets where I am wear gloves).

Buying stuff for somebody else is not a job, it's a favour that, by definition, is not a requirement and anybody is completely within their rights to say yes, no or 'I won't do that, but I could do this'.

My religious bil bought me a bottle of wine. The only Muslims I’ve met who have been reluctant to touch booze is a convert (she mentioned it to me - I didn’t ask or bring up the subject) in a local supermarket. She makes a point of putting a plastic bag over her hand and gingerly picking up the bottle as if it were radioactive.

Would they pass me my leather shoes if asked?

Don’t be thick. Passing something isn’t the same as buying something.

And actually, I’m a vegetarian and I hate handling meat. If I’m making pizza and my husband wants pepperoni on his, I make him put it on. It grosses me out too much to touch it.

I’m a meat eater and would never expect a vegan or a veggie to buy me meat.
I also wouldn’t buy someone who smokes fags because it’s a vile habit that disgusts me.
Your relative is not unreasonable.

Well then friend has to go out and get it which uses extra fuel which adds to pollution. Way OTT

Relative doesn't own a car so shops must be either walking or bus-ride distance so your argument @strawberry doesn't really stand

”based on their own feelings on the matter' - these typically being that they feel veganism is more moral than consuming meat and animal products.”

”If you didn't believe you were making a more moral choice then why the hell would you go to all the effort of cutting out lots of food? Just for pure fun?”

You can hold personal beliefs and follow religions without judging others. It’s what rounded people, who are comfortable with themselves do.