To think you shouldn't ask a vegan to buy you meat/animal products?

[Ragnasath]

A younger relative told me yesterday in casual conversation about how her housemate at university often asks her to pick up meat or animal products from the supermarket for her.

There's a few of them living together and all buy their own food but will all take turns buying loo roll, fairy liquid etc that are communal. My relative said that often when it is her turn to go and get these things, a particular housemate will often say 'can you pick me up some ham slices/ Cadbury chocolate' etc whilst you're there. This relative is a passionate vegan and feels very strongly against animal cruelty etc and has been vegan for 5 years as a result. She said that she'll usually say no to the friend because she doesn't want anything to do with the purchase of animal products but will offer her a vegan alternative (i.e I don't feel comfortable buying you cadburys but am happy to get you oreos or bourbons instead etc). Apparently the housemate often gets annoyed at this response and will roll her eyes about how she's being ridiculous because housemate offers to give relative the money to buy the items so it's not coming out of relative's pocket. Relative still says she wants nothing to do with the purchase of animals or animal products.

The relative says she never asks her friend to pick her up any snacks or food because she doesn't want to feel like she has to reciprocate by buying her housemate food which goes against her values.

I think it's pretty awful of the housemate to put her in that position tbh. You wouldn't ask a committed Muslim to pick you up a bottle of wine would you and I don't see much difference in this scenario

There is no right answer, it boils down to personal principles. If you haven’t got your principles then what have you got?

She sounds precious . All she would be doing would be helping out a friend. I’m surprised she has many non-vegan friends left.

I had a (vegtn) boyfriend who had non-vegtn lodgers; lodgers weren't allowed to cook meat in his house. I thought he was a prat at the time for it, still do.

If she's that passionate about animal-welfare , how can she tolerate using the same fridge where they keep all their non-vegan food.

I think it's being very precious. And if she's not prepared to do the shop, then she shouldn't participate in any of the household activities: and buy all her own food, milk, toilet roll etc. And not expect anyone to include her at all.

Great, it's your belief, but you don't have to keep on and on and on banging on about it.

Surely it’s the meat eater who is banging on and inflicting her beliefs on others by continually asking the vegan to pick up animal products even when she knows she doesn’t want to?

Its like asking a meat ester to pick up a pack of meat free sausages they might not want to but I am sure they would if a friend was coming for dinner.

Not really the same, is it? What ethical objections to meat eaters have to veggie sausages?

Wonder how many of the people on this thread who think the vegan is unreasonable would pick up a porn mag for a housemate who asked them to?

I'm a veggie and I don't mind buying meats, cooking meats, smelling meats and sometimes I'll even have a little lick of steak or chicken when cooking for family, mmmm, delicious. Sometimes I forget why I am a veggie haha. Anyways my point is, I would have no issue buying meat for someone if they asked, it's their money after all.

So a vegan doesn’t want meat cooked in his kitchen and he’s a prat?

Some Jewish people won’t have non Kosher food cooked on their kitchens. Are they prats too?

I don't think there is any thing wrong with them refusing to buy meat products. I think what is a bit of a dickish move is then suggesting vegan alternatives to the products. it comes across as a bit patronising. Tell them just to say sorry I don't want to buy anything that's non vegan as I don't fell comfortable with it. That's all that needs to be said.

“Its like asking a meat ester to pick up a pack of meat free sausages they might not want to but I am sure they would if a friend was coming for dinner”

Bingo!

You lick other people's meat you're cooking for them as a veggie... riiiiiight

I think it's rude of the friend to ask. But as a vegetarian I would pick up people's meat occasionally. They usually ask if I mind first, though,

@NowWeAreSuckingDiesel don't be silly. I'll cut a bit off for myself, have a lick, then bin it, I tell myself it doesn't count 🤣

“I'm a veggie and I don't mind buying meats, cooking meats, smelling meats and sometimes I'll even have a little lick of steak or chicken when cooking for family, mmmm, delicious.“

So you’re not a vegetarian are you? You’re someone who doesn’t eat meat very much.

@Drawward I can see how it could sound patronising. If someone said though 'i fancy some chocolate, please could you get me a cadburys' then saying 'no but I'll get you chocolate that's vegan if you want' is fair enough, I think

@BertrandRussell I am a vegetarian, I don't consume meat

I wouldn’t buy porn or cigarettes if someone asked me. Does that make me precious?

No, you aren't vegetarian if you lick meat ffs. Bloody hell.

Also, if she never asks housemates to pick up stuff for her, I think it's a bit annoying of them to ask.

Again, I would probably get the stuff, but it is a bit annoying to be asked to buy stuff for other people when they could do it themselves

Not that bloody Smithsonian article again @Ragnasath!

It's tosh in real world terms because it's entirely based around the premise of 'sustainable palm oil' of which there is hardly any and so the author of that half-arsed report can pat himself on the back for letting people believe they can crack on with using palm oil. Way to muddy the waters.

And no one should have to buy anything for anyone else if they don't want to. The relative in question should have been able to explain themselves in a reasonable manner the first time she was asked and then if the flatmate has asked again after a clear explanation, they can shove it.

YANBU. I'm neither vegetarian nor vegan. My daughters are both vegan and would probably pick up a packet of ham slices if I asked them to. I'll never know though, because I wouldn't ask.

I wouldn’t expect a vegan to purchase animal products for me any more than I‘d expect a Muslim to buy me a bottle of whisky or an Orthodox Jew a packet of bacon. Same way as I wouldn’t buy a porn mag or DVD for someone.

@NowWeAreSuckingDiesel whatever you say random stranger on the internet with a stick up ones ass 🤣

Hi OP I think it's fine to tell her to say no and explain why. Might save a lot of faff in the long term. Vegan im is an ethical lifestyle choice for most rather than just a health based choice and it doesn't seem fair for her to go against her values.
Seems rather a long thread for what seems quite an obvious thing for her to do.

I also think it's fine for her to say no tbh.

Would they pass them their burger on the table?

I can understand not wanting to consume any animal products at all, I am considering veganism myself.

Not consuming any compared to the human custom of exchanging money for goods (ham, for example) doesn’t feel like the same thing to me.

This sounds very principled and it’s hard to relate to so lots would not understand.

Would they pass me my leather shoes if asked?