To sell up and move to Spain ?

[MijasMaddie]

Hi MN’s!

I’ve nc! So in a nutshell.. I’ve got two DC (sons) 8yrs and 10yrs. DH is 13 years older than me. (I’m mid thirties he’s late 40s)

He works in financial sales and I’m a small business owner (pet care/boarding).

We have a home in a lovely place on the outskirts of London. BUT we are struggling to live!

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work.

A couple of years ago he had to ‘leave’ instead of being pushed and was out of work nearly a whole year! This has put us in such a bad financial situation.

We now pay the mortgage and the bills but we have hardly anything to live on. The mortgage and outgoings are huge.

Credit cards maxed out. I’m in touch with debt companies etc only so much can be done!

Life is a hamster wheel and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul etc..

AIBU to sell up and move to Spain? We attended Spanish lessons (myself, DH, DC) but stopped a couple of years ago! So we are no way fluent!

I have no money nor does DH but we have money in our home. After selling our home we could have enough to buy a three bed apartment in Southern Spain (ideally Calahonda area).

DH is saying he’ll have to stay here and rent a room outskirts of London to work his job in the city etc.

I could get rid of my debts and this misarable life but I will also have burnt all bridges to ever be able to come back.

My youngest is 8 and a young sweet 8. He’d be happy and make friends anywhere. But my eldest is 10 going on Kevin the Teenager! I’d have to put them through Spanish state school (also thinking of doing Cambridge p/t home school modules) if he hated it then he’ll hate me!!

Pros - I’d have the debts and financial burdens weighing me down gone. I’d be living in a sunny climate.
I am qualified in beauty industry, massage, animal pet training care..

Cons- what if it all goes wrong?

I’ve wanted to move to Southern Spain since 2013. I love it there. I fully appreciate living there is different to a holiday.

Only other option is to sell this house and rent there for a year (?)

Are kids that are about to turn 9 and 11 too old to be put in a Spanish state school?

I cannot go on like this 😑 too over drawn too broke. Don’t know how I’ll afford food for this week!

The thought of selling up and being able to buy a spacious penthouse in Spain has never been so tempting.

Ps. I have experience in beauty, make up, massage in case you wondered what I’d do over there. Also a very experienced animal carer.

• also Brexit is a factor but as it stands I know I can still go there ...

Please give me some advice (shake some sense into me!) thank you! X

Why can your dh only get work in London?

MRex- I’ve seen your advice and I truly thank you! On that note please do not scathingly write ‘poor kids’ as that obviously is very mean! I live for my children and would do anything for them! Thank you

We moved from the south to Lincolnshire for similar reasons to you, OP. I can really recommend it. Property much cheaper, great schools, lovely countryside, with city option. Lots of animals/pets for business! Think about a relocation within the UK.

I too think it sounds too risky. You are living in one of the most expensive places in the country. Sort that out first. Sell up and move and have a five year or a ten year plan for Spain. Moving now could have you from surviving to destitute and no way back.

This^. It's just such a gamble and if you have literally no money behind you, you'll have no way back if you can't make a living. What about air fares? You and your DH and going to want to see each other regularly. What about healthcare? What about your rights after Brexit (no one knows what these will be, so you might not even qualify for residency after Oct 31st and calling it 'scaremongering' is foolhardy - absolutely no one knows what's going to happen).

I suspect you'll do this, whatever people say, because there is a giddy 'fuck it, I'm doing it anyway' tone about your posts. You brush aside any reasonable concerns people are raising and plough on regardless. The sensible thing would be to sell your house in London and move to a cheaper area of the UK. At least then you'll both speak the language and know how things work. Your naivete about how easy it is to move OS at the drop of a hat is astounding. Spain is not this cheap place you can just rock up in and buy a place and live without money. You'll need a job or a business. Spain and all Med countries are pretty expensive these days - the £ has dropped massively against the euro. If you're living hand to mouth here, where you have a business and speak the language how on earth are you going to magic up a well-paid business overnight when you don't speak Spanish? Spain is full of unemployed Spanish people, a British woman with only a rudimentary grasp of the language is going to find it very hard to compete with them. And the Costa del Sol is very expensive - it would be madness to leave the London area and head there with no savings behind you.

This is advice for current British expats in Spain. Your proposed situation would be more complicated.
www.thelocal.es/20190412/our-man-in-madrid-what-brexit-delay-means-for-brits-in-spain

Lunge- his exact words not mine. He works in London in the city . He says his job is ‘niche’ and can’t get any jobs else where in what he does

This is a disaster waiting to happen.

I’ve just spotted the bit where your DH would have to rent a room in London.

Fairly common practice for those who commute to London round here - 3 nights/4 longer days in London. Late train home Thursday then a long weekend off.

What job does he do?

Lots of sensible advice here.
I think it's a bad idea. Beside being a great opportunity for the kids.
I know people who moved to Spain to be mortgage free. Years later they are stuck with property that's worth next to nothing and they can't sell. They have no money, fewer friends, and no prospect of moving back to the UK which they desperately miss. You'd never have enough to buy in the UK again, and could never get a mortgage again.
Think carefully.
It makes much much more sense to move within the UK. I don't understand why you can't see this. You don't have the upfront funds to move to Spain, nor any job prospects. And as people say, Spain will not guarantee you a job over qualified Spanish people.

One of the reasons you are moving is because your husband keeps losing his job. So you want to move to Spain but he won’t be coming because of his job . It’s not adding up to me.

You're ignoring all the advice about other parts of the UK where the disruption for your kids will be so much lower; dad can stay, you won't be working evenings, language is the same, the school system is the same, no possible issues with health insurance / proof of income, within reach of family and friends etc. People are making suggestions about how you can get work to move past this hole you're in. People are pointing out employment and other difficulties you could face in Spain. But you're only focused on thanking people who tell you things went well for them. What's going to be better for the kids except the weather, because you haven't mentioned anything about them? What are they you do at 16/18 when they leave school and there are no jobs in Spain? You don't actually come across as though you're thinking about them at all.

Won’t you have to apply for residency rights in Spain post Brexit? Same as if you were emigrating any other country. I’d imagine they’d look at your finances, skills and number of dependents quite closely before letting you in. Post Brexit I can’t imagine you can just turn up in a eu country and live there indefinitely surely getting your dcs into local schools and registering with doctors won’t be easy without official documents stating your legal right to remain? If you can’t move to Spain what’s your plan B to etting out of your financial mess?

June- how can you say I’ve got a ‘f it I’ll go’ attitude when I’ve only maybe contributed to max four posts on this thread? I’m posting on here for advice and head pointers! I don’t want or need any arguments that’s for sure!

Thank you for you advice though and to everyone else thank you 😊

The spanish state schools are excellent

This is absolutely not true. I taught English in a state high school in Southern Spain (about 40 min outside Seville) and it was a fucking jungle. Many friends taught in similar schools and all had the same experience.

I know you like Spain and have tried to start learning the language, but other than that, is there really a reason to choose there? I really feel trying to move somewhere in EU at the moment is foolish and will be a struggle to see where everything will fall for a decade. Why not go somewhere further afield where at least you know what you are signing up for? I just did a property porn raid search on Rightmove and found this in Thailand - which will come with it's own paperwork, granted - but at least you will be able to properly plan ahead as it isn't in EU. It sounds as though that is perhaps where you have been going wrong? Making decisions based on a whim can seem exciting but really you need to properly plan this move and have financial budgets/plan for at last 5 years so you don't end up trapped.

So you want to incur the expense of an international move, split up your family, put the kids in schools in a foreign education system where they don’t speak the language, wind up your business and try to compete with Spaniards and bilingual Brits for long-hours minimum wage jobs in an expensive part of Spain where you have no family or friends to help with childcare emergencies, at a time when Brexit makes the position of Brits living in EU countries uncertain — for what? Warmer weather?

Whilst it sounds lovely, I think it’s far too risky. My in laws made a very similar move to another EU country several years back and the reality wasn’t what they’d hoped for and now they’ve divorced (but have to still live there for various reasons). They are almost trapped there now and the cost of living is high - food is particularly expensive where they are.

I live in South Wales. I’ve also lived in London and the midlands and I would definitely recommend Wales for a family. I earn maybe £15k less than I would in London but clearly that’s offset by the much cheaper housing costs. A few friends of mine locally, WFH for their employer in London and just travel there as and when it’s needed. They are on six figure salaries so it does afford them a great standard of living.

There’s definitely a few things to try between stay near London or emigrate to Spain. None of which are as drastic and won’t put you further in the hole if it goes wrong.

You sound a bit depressed to me.
Like you are literally running away from your problems here.
We are also planning a retirement move within the next 2 years but this will be when our youngest starts uni, we have saved hard for it and learned a new language (and we are only going to Wales).
I think your plans are only half thought through, you dismiss Brexit as scaremongering but the fact is you might have no legal right to even remain in Spain come Oct.
Also how much does your pet care business actually make? Would you be better off financially just getting a job? Or training as a vet nurse etc?
I think SimonJT has very good advice.

MRex- you make a lot of sense! Only that if I leave London then I do not want to go back to where I can’t ftom (Cambs) massive triggers of abuse and lots of things I cannot mention. It really is here or Spain

I totally get the desire to leave everything behind MijasMaddie

There’s a place in Europe I would absolutely love to move to but it’s a heart vs head decision. And you know, despite the fact you leave much of your stress behind, living somewhere and holidaying somewhere - especially with children are vastly different beasts.

I genuinely think you could get a better quality of life without needing such a drastic and risky move - especially in view of the political climate.

I'm inclined to agree with the posters suggesting relocating in the UK. £200k will get you a mortgage free property up north with some left over as a buffer.

I lived/worked abroad for around 17 years, moving country a lot, so can absolutely see the appeal of moving to Spain. But with kids, no job lined up, and a DH who loses his job every few years, (and Brexit looming) I don't think you're in the best position to make that move right now.

In your position, I'd think about selling up, clearing all debts, buying a cheaper house away from the South, cheap enough to be mortgage free and give you a bit of a buffer. DH can commute to London (train fares cheaper than renting a room in London) and you'll be in a position to save because you're not paying a mortgage. Then a few years down the line, when you're financially more secure and have some savings, you can rent out your UK house out (so to keep a foothold in the UK) and using income from that to pay rent on a place in Spain.

I definitely don't think you need to write off the whole idea, it would be a great experience for you and your kids.

It's a ridiculous idea and a fantasy.

You're running away from your problems in the UK and have fastened on the idea that if you leave the country they won't follow you. They will.

Moving to Spain has massive disadvantages compared to relocating within the UK and your chances of being able to make any money there at all are much lower. Your chances of ending up stuck and totally screwed is quite high.

As PP have said, your real problem appears to be twofold: 1) your DH is a problem employee, to have been made redundant repeatedly in this time period, or else his field is very volatile indeed and he needs to get out; 2) you haven't managed your property well. Neither of those things will be different in Spain, but you will lose almost all of the infrastructure you have supporting you here.

Rethink.

Very entertaining and cautionary thread, in the true AIBU spirit of continuing to be VU in the face of relentless good advice.

Are ye both earning now?

I don’t think it’s fair to take the children from their father,home,school and country because you’re fed up.