AIBU to take exception to being offered 'a night off' at a wedding?

[SomethingStupidSomethingGreat]

DH and I have been awaiting a formal invite (after the 'save the date' had been sent) for a wedding in 3 months time. We were expecting it to be a child free wedding, which is fine... and to be honest, who 'really' wants to take young children to a wedding?
However, the invite arrived and states
'We love your kids but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'
... we won't be going as dc2 is bf and an avid bottle refuser so I can't leave her. I don't mind, they are not close family and I have massive wedding fatigue after so many last year... but something has really irked me about the phrasing of the invite. I almost (I won't because I'm only a dick in my head and in anonymous forums) feel like saying...
'Thank you for thinking for us, yes we'd love a night off but unfortunately our dc will starve if she doesn't have almost constant access to my breasts.' (The wedding is 5 hours away).
Full disclosure, I do realise that none of this is the couples fault.
I'm not sure what phrasing would have been better and not irked me? I guess it just grated a bit that actually some people don't have the choice of a night off from their kids no matter how much you love them 😬

@nuxe1984 expected it to be child free, fine with that, never expected to attend

They're just trying to 'sell it' as in yay you get to enjoy time out from the children. Might not have been worded sensitively but they're trying to make something they maybe feel comes across as negative into something positive.

@Rtruth not frustrated

@FelixTitling yes a lot to get over. I'm clearly fuming over here

@XXcstatic 😂

They probably chose the wording on purpose, to weed out the sanctimonious & humourless.

Nah, they nicked it off a forum or site.

Oh, please, Calleigh, don't flatter yourself. You couldn't afford me.

😂😂😂😂

So funny how personally some take their chavtastic invitations and assume people are 'pissed off' when in reality the recipient rolls their eyes and tosses it in the bin.

@NaturatintGoldenChestnut I think I've accidentally offended a lot of people who also used this phraseology. Had no idea a light hearted eye roll post would open such a can of worms!

NaturatintGoldenChestnut
Your previous post said you'd send a car (instead of card!) I think you may have misunderstood some posts following that comment

I am not wearing my glasses.

They're just trying to 'sell it' as in yay you get to enjoy time out from the children. Might not have been worded sensitively but they're trying to make something they maybe feel comes across as negative into something positive.

And yet, ironically....

I would have preferred different wording. My cousin (her dad's side) had a child free wedding last year (although her 5 year old cousin from mum's side was invited) and worded it similar. I am a single parent with no one to look after the kids (as everyone else invited too and she knew it) so the wording really pissed me off.

I was going to reply "thanks for the invite but the police frown upon leaving young children home alone". My mum stopped me

I can't see the problem, if someone wants to use a baby sitter they'll have a night off, surely.
You don't want/can't have a night off, then you refuse.

British weddings are peculiar. They are about the only ones on this planet that does not include children. The asians, continental, Americans all include children and its almost a raised eyebrow (I can only speak for th Asian culture) if children weren't included! That said when in Rome...I have had a few weddings DH had to go on his own but alot of couples are bucking the trend by including children /babies. One even had a babysitting service in a tent and full on children's activities. Now that is giving mum a night off! OP - I have been in your shoes plenty of times. That couple will get it back at some point when they are in the family way x

One wedding we were told that we cant take the girls was because it's too expensive to include children! I chortled (one was an accountant and the other a lawyer) utter b0ll locks. Personally that wording was irritating. What makes anyone think my children was a bother than I want to be away from them?

Had a child free wedding. We wanted a small (no more than 60) wedding. Only niece invited.

We chose to spend our money on adult attendees. Every child attending would have stopped an adult close friend attending. Plus, I did not want screaming kids in the background - not their fault they are bored as feck.

Sometimes offence at kids not receiving an invite says more about the parent than the child (albeit not in this case as OP is b/f). I have seen many people strop because their child wasn't deemed important enough to invite. Believe me, these kids will not remember the wedding in 10 years time but your friends will!

TBH - I don't think there is a "best way" to say no children. There will always be someone who gets all upset about it.

It’s a bit like saying ‘you deserve some time off work, so our wedding is on a Wednesday afternoon’.

I’m not offended or upset by it. I just think it’s a bit cringeworthy and irritating. I’d prefer ‘adults only’ or something equally straightforward. I think people are a bit precious about their weddings, though.

I think what would annoy me is the assumption a wedding is a "night off" from anything! Mostly they are hard work and go on for EVER, not just a few hours in the evening, not to mention being stupidly expensive to attend and impossible to get to!!

I personally dont like the wording.

Roughly translated:
"If we say we love your kids you're less likely to take offence(the equivalent of saying I don't mean to be offensive,but..when actually you're being offensive but by saying it you think it excuses yourself)but WE want the night off from YOUR kids, so nobody under 21!

You could reply:

"We love our kids more than you so....nope. Have a nice wedding day!"

That should fix it.

Let me guess, this couple don't have children yet?
Give it a few years and when they look back on the invite after having children if they do, they might just cringe at the wording.

Not an unreasonable request(small kids at weddings isn't ideal tbh) but it could have been worded better. MUCH better.

'We love your kids but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'

They're just asking for a reply saying 'No it's fine, we love our kids too and don't need a "night off", so we thought you would like to see all of us'

It's quite ironic that so many self-proclaimed laid-back types on this thread are getting irate enough to be rude to the OP!

”Sometimes offence at kids not receiving an invite says more about the parent than the child (albeit not in this case as OP is b/f). I have seen many people strop because their child wasn't deemed important enough to invite. Believe me, these kids will not remember the wedding in 10 years time but your friends will!”

If you read the thread, you’ll find that virtually nobody has a problem with the concept of child-free weddings. Only with the bride and groom pretending their (perfectly valid) decision was made as a favour to those of their guests who are parents.

They are trying to be polite. Until you are a parent yourself though it’s very hard to be sensitive to all possible parental situations and feelings (and it’s hard even then). Personally as a parent I would quite welcome a “night off” partly because whenever I’ve taken my DC to a wedding, I’ve had a miserable time, but I realise not all feel the same.

This is no big deal, just decline politely and forget it.

Not worth getting so cross over. Just a bit ill thought out wording.

Who cares? I would use the energy you are spending thinkI got about it on something else more constructive.