AIBU to take exception to being offered 'a night off' at a wedding?

[SomethingStupidSomethingGreat]

DH and I have been awaiting a formal invite (after the 'save the date' had been sent) for a wedding in 3 months time. We were expecting it to be a child free wedding, which is fine... and to be honest, who 'really' wants to take young children to a wedding?
However, the invite arrived and states
'We love your kids but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'
... we won't be going as dc2 is bf and an avid bottle refuser so I can't leave her. I don't mind, they are not close family and I have massive wedding fatigue after so many last year... but something has really irked me about the phrasing of the invite. I almost (I won't because I'm only a dick in my head and in anonymous forums) feel like saying...
'Thank you for thinking for us, yes we'd love a night off but unfortunately our dc will starve if she doesn't have almost constant access to my breasts.' (The wedding is 5 hours away).
Full disclosure, I do realise that none of this is the couples fault.
I'm not sure what phrasing would have been better and not irked me? I guess it just grated a bit that actually some people don't have the choice of a night off from their kids no matter how much you love them 😬

I don’t think it’s an issue at all. Personally, I had children at my wedding, they were collected by babysitters at a reasonable time, their parents decision, not my orders. However after this point in the evening the parents did let their hair down and relax and yes , they drank and danced and behaved in a way they couldn’t have done if they constantly had an eye on their children. I honestly don’t think the phrasing is offensive, however if you find it so, it’s probably a blessing that you’re not attending the wedding.

Wow. Spectacular overreaction. And a bit mean to be honest. The wording is obviously designed to try to be polite and informal. The exact choice of words may not appeal to everyone but that’s all it is... casual wording. It’s hardly offensive.
Would you rather it just said ‘No Children’ without any attempt to soften the blow?!
I love a night off from my kids once in a while and I don’t think I’ve met a parent who doesn’t. And I’ve missed plenty of weddings due to bf my children. That’s just life.
I’d assume most of us would just reply politely without giving it a second thought.

Have the couple got kids of their own?

My friends said the same on their wedding invite and it annoyed me as well but I figured it was one of those things you think/ say before you have kids.

I don't quite understand your post. You state that you expected the wedding to be child-free and that you were fine with this.

Yet when the invitation arrives and it states what you were expecting you've now decided not to go?

Ok the wording is a bit twee but each to his own ...

It’s disingenuous bollocks, pretending to dress up their personal preference as a favour to their guests. (And ignores the total ballache and expense that wedding childcare can be for some people.)

I always think a little less of people who engage in such silliness. I have no issue with childfree weddings. But childish couples who can’t communicate such a mainstream choice in an honest and straightforward way... nah, a bit pathetic.

We’re getting married this summer and have made our wedding family friendly. People seem really shocked we’ve invited kids but we never considered not doing. I find it weird that it’s considered so weird 🤔

We have two under 6 month EBF babies coming ... how else would their mums have been able to come? 🤔

I'd find it annoying, because it's insincere, so to me YANBU to be annoyed by it.

My son & DiL have a policy now of only one of them going to 'child-free' weddings, however close they are to the couple, because it's such a hassle to arrange child care. It's also a hassle to take small children to a wedding, so I think they're quite happy with that.

Yeah the only way they’d be giving you a night off would be if you could bring your baby & have a babysitter on hand nearby. I’ve been to weddings where’s there’s almost been that with rooms for kids to sleep in & older family or friends who weren’t drinking looking after the asleep children so parents could enjoy themselves a bit. Increasing the cost of the wedding by overnight babysitters is doing no one any favours! & a bf baby would be really upset without it’s mum for food for that long (depending on age). It’s just not doing everyone with kids a favour at all x

People who get all upset about being offered a night off really annoy me.

It's not 'being offered a night off', it's being invited to a poxy evening do and told to leave your kids at home as if it's some type of favour.

Just explain the fact that the baby is bf and you can’t leave her/him, so you won’t be able to come. There isn’t really a good way to definitively not invite someone to your party. That seems as good a way to put it as any other.

You don't have to give any excuse! Just decline and send them a car.

Bit OTT @NaturatintGoldenChestnut

Think your being over sensitive.

I think you are being over the top. It’s normal saying and they have done it nicely.

There are options to ensure the child wouldn’t starve, just as if you were ill but you have planning time. That said if you don’t want to that, that’s fine but don’t get frustrated with them for your choices.

Oh ffs

Yabu and a bit guestzilla.

Weddings are all generally a bit Cheesey. Get over it.

We all have opinions . Think it's tacky and of course, accompanied by the naff request for money.

id love to piss off NaturatintGoldenChestnut enough so she declined an invite to a party of mine

Reread your post @NaturatintGoldenChestnut

I don't get why they have to state it is a child-free wedding.

If your child's name or + children or something to that effect is not directly stated on the invitation why would anyone assume that their was child is invited?

Then there should be no need for a potentially irkesome invite wording!

They probably chose the wording on purpose, to weed out the sanctimonious & humourless. Looks like it worked.

I get why the wording doesn’t appeal to you and it’s not what I chose for my own wedding invite. As much as you have a right to be annoyed by this I don’t think the wording is all that unreasonable.

Would you rather it just said ‘No Children’ without any attempt to soften the blow?!

Yes, honestly. That would give me all the information I need (adults-only wedding) without dressing it up as doing me a favour.

Same as, if someone decided on a destination wedding in Italy, I'd rather they just said 'it's in Italy' on the invite - I wouldn't thank them for saying 'we thought you'd like the chance of a nice holiday so we're getting married in Italy, how kind of us!'

@DownStreet 😂

@MrsDx completely not the point 😂

@Scotland32 personally yes I would. Overwhelmingly not offended.