To think you don't call or refer to your parents-in-law as Mum and Dad

[PocaMiseria]

One of my brothers calls his wife's parents Mum and Dad. We come from a close family and our parents are still together ..... I find this weird and disrespectful to our parents.
DB's wife calls our parents Joe and Freda.... I call my DH's parents Bob and Maggie (and he calls my DPs Joe and Freda) and our sister also uses given names rather than "Mum and Dad" for her in-laws.
AIBU ? I would hate for my kids to be calling another woman "Mum"!
(The idea for this question came from the thread about step parents being called Mum and Dad....)

Well dh mum died before we got married and he hasnt seen his Dad in years so I don't have in-laws ,I always called his stepdad by his first name but so did dh, he calls my parents by their first name, but my parents always called each other,s(long dead) parents mum and dad

I'm Asian and I refer to my ILs (and any other person my parents age) as 'uncle' and 'auntie'. There is noooooo way I'd call them mum and dad- you only get one set of parents and so and these titles are strictly reserved for my mine.

@jinglet - exactly! Lol even in India my sil refers to my mil as saasumaa (literally means mother in law lol) and nobody bats an eyelash.

SileneOlivera

My parents also made us refer to our friends' parents as Mrs Brown or Mrs Smith, not "Karen's mum" or their first names. We were never allowed to use adults' first names when we were kids. All very weird. All my kids' friends use my first name, and my kids wouldn't dream of calling a frriend's mother "Mrs Whatever".

Makes me think of Kevin and Perry “Fank you Mrs Patterson!”

The were known as the out laws and called by there first names ..... now ex laws 😁

DH has called my parents Ma and Pop for years, I don’t know how it started, it was never discussed and I don’t call his parents anything’s other than Margaret and Keith (not real names). Funnily enough he refers to his own parents as “my father” and “my mother”, so perhaps it is more a term of endearment with my parents.

TBF, they have always been more caring.

My parents are both dead. My in-laws are Nana and Grandad or first name to me.
Any attempt on their part to try and replace my parents would be met by a cold frost from me.

I call my MIL Mum. I've no relationship with my bio mother and my MIL has put up with me for 22 years so she is my Mum. I love her, I trust her and I know she would do anything for me.

My mum called her in-laws Mum and Dad, mainly I think because both her parents died fairly early.

My future SIL is calling my Mother 'mum' and sends texts like 'popped round to mum's today'. I do like her, but it does grate. I have only ever called DH's parents by their first names, and DH calls my mother her first name. I know for a fact that mum has not asked her to call her 'mum' she has just taken it on herself.

I think it's older generation thing but I really can't see how it's offensive TBH, it's just a word. My mum was closer to her in-laws than her parents so it definitely didn't seem odd. I don't think it's so common now though.

Thanks to everyone for responding - I hadn't thought of it being an old fashioned thing but can see how it might be. Can't remember what my parents called my grandparents but I will ask when I see them. Presumably calling the in-laws "Mum and Dad" was done at a time in the past when it would have been shocking to call them "Molly and Bert".

For context: White British family - the in-laws are in their early eighties.

My husband has called my Mum, Mum, since the day we got married. One of my son in law's calls me Mum too. I would never have called my in laws Mum and Dad, but I found it really lovely that my husband felt that way and my son in law too, come to that!

Normal in Indian culture

My Mum called my GPs (my Dad's parents) 'Mum & Dad', people of that generations (GPs would be age 100+ if still alive today) were less comfortable being called by their first name so I assume they invited my Mum to call then Mum & Dad because the alternative would have been Mr & Mrs Shagged

It is a bit weird looking back but I never questioned it at the time. My Dad didn't call my other GPs (Mum's parents) Mum & Dad but we saw much less of them and they weren't as nice as my other GPs

My brother’s girlfriend of 1 year calls my Dad “Dad” and it really riles me. I have to fight the urge to scream “HE IS NOT YOUR FUCKING DAD, HE IS MY DAD!” I find it very weird and I think my Dad finds it over-familiar and awkward as well. She also calls my Grandma “Granma / Granny”.

I don’t get why she does it, it’s kind of embarrassing.

Someone please explain to me!!

I think it’s normal tbh. I’m single but my Dad referred to my maternal grandmother as Mother and Mum referred to my paternal grandparents as Mama and Papa and I also had an adoptive grandmother who wasn’t a biological parent of either of my parents who was known as “Mum in East Anglia” .

All that being said, I can’t imagine ever referring to my ex-boyfriend’s parents as anything other than Mavis and Kevin. It would have been very odd to have ever switched to calling them mum and dad if we’d have married.

@EleanorOalike I'm an adoptive mum and I would be very hurt if my DDs didn't call me 'Mummy', because I am their mum. Biology isn't everything.

@Lizzie48 sorry it was badly worded and confusing. It was a lady who would never have any grandchildren of her own who “adopted” me in the totally informal sense as a grandchild.

I totally understand and agree with your viewpoint - I’m hoping to adopt in a couple of years.

I studiously avoid calling my PIL anything tbh. I'd never ever call them mum and dad, but their given names seem a bit intimate too.

Be careful you don't get too stuck with this. When my parents got engaged my grandmother apparently told him he could call her mum now, as opposed to Mrs XXX. My dad is quite a shy bloke and whilst not feeling comfortable with Mum, also didn't feel comfortable saying so. So he didn't call her anything..... for forty years until the day she died. It did occasionally get slightly awkward.

I don't call my partner's Mum, Mum or any variation and never would. Fortunately the first time I met her she introduced herself by her first name (DP was getting stuff out of the car I think and she came outside to greet us) so that was that.

Him obviously being my dad. Check before your post Rolla facepalm

@EleanorOalike no worries. All the best with your plans to adopt, it's a hard road but so worth it.

You could always always call PIL Grandma/Grandad if you have kids, as that's what the kids call them and they're usually with you when they're little.

My parents are mum and dad.
My in laws are Ammi and Abu (mum and dad in DHs language) I'd feel weird calling my FIL dad but my MIL I sometimes just say mum.

I call PIL by their first names but have always called DHs grandma by the name all her grandkids call her. Off the top of my head I think all partners of her grandchildren do.

She’s a bit like Nana from the Royle Family in that respect. And in many other way, God bless her. She’s wonderful.