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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
Huncamuncaa · 13/04/2019 20:39

I was 23 and from a family of people who settled down late. My mum was very career focussed and married at 40.

I felt very judged by family and friends but no one was rude to my face. Friends I've met later express their shock quite openly.

10 years later I have no regrets. It hasn't been plain sailing. In my mid 20s I briefly thought we'd been stupid as we went through a rough patch but now we're happier than we ever have been. Quite a few of my friends are now marrying people they started dating when my husband and I did. Some broke up for a while and got back together, some were long distance for a bit and some would just never have married before 30. For whatever reason, getting married didn't worry me and I didn't over think it.

needsleeptoday · 13/04/2019 20:42

We got married at 22
Happily married 8 years this year!

Saracen · 13/04/2019 20:46
  1. I would have preferred to wait, but immigration restrictions forced my hand and I had to get married less than a year after meeting my DP.

I do think it is a bit rash to marry someone you haven't known for at least two years, as there appears to be a psychological shift where people move from the infatuation stage on to more mature love - or else fall out of love - after about two years. I consider myself lucky to have ended up with a good marriage despite marrying someone I hadn't really known for long.

TheHobbitMum · 13/04/2019 20:48

Met DH when I was 18, married at 29

Lovestolurk · 13/04/2019 20:51

Got married when I was 17 and still happily married 21 years later.

Lovestolurk · 13/04/2019 20:55

And family mostly supportive. Some negativity from friends and work colleagues because they thought we were too young. Had our first child 2 weeks before my 19th birthday and second child when I was 21.

FlowerTink · 13/04/2019 21:06

Met at 18, engaged at 20 and married at 23. 7 years married and have DC now :)

Animum2 · 13/04/2019 21:10

41 when I got married, we were together 10 months when we got engaged and married a year later, been married a year and a half now

Lamaitresse · 13/04/2019 21:19

Met when we were 22/23, married when we were 28/29. Been married almost 14 years now 💕

shpongle30 · 13/04/2019 21:29

Met when I was 15
Had dd1 at 16,
Ds1 and dd2 when i was 19
Dd3 when i was 21
Married at 21
Dd4 at 22
Ds2 at 26
Dd5 at 27
Married 9 years this September, still going strong
Dh is 10 years older than me

GeeksCanBeMumsToo · 13/04/2019 21:31

Met at 19, married at 22, and just celebrated our 15th anniversary. Two continents, 11 house moves, 5 degrees, and 3 children. Definitely not easy but wouldn’t change a thing.

marshmallowtum · 13/04/2019 21:33

Together at 18 (both of us), broke up a few times, engaged at 22, baby at 26, married at 29...still going strong after 11 years. No pushback from anyone to be honest 🤷🏻‍♀️

MeMeMeYou · 13/04/2019 21:34

Getting married next week after 20 years with my partner. I'm 40!

GeeksCanBeMumsToo · 13/04/2019 21:35

Any judgment was kept out of earshot, but I suspect quite a bit...

tinytemper66 · 13/04/2019 21:44

Married at 24; been married for 28!years

KentdonMum · 13/04/2019 21:47

Met when I was 17, moved in together after 3 years and didn’t marry until I was 28. Had our first child at 35 - fair to say we didn’t rush into anything Grin

Usuallyinthemiddle · 13/04/2019 22:13

Met dh1 and barrier at 19. Divorces within a year. Or at least on the way. Absolu was 22 I think. Met amazing DH at 32. Had 2 kids. Married 5 years. Am now 41.

LouH1981 · 13/04/2019 22:23

Met at 17 (DH 23)
Moved in at 23 (DH 29)
Married at 29 (DH 35)
DS at 33
37 now...Still waiting for number 2

Teacher22 · 13/04/2019 22:32

Met at 20, married at 22. Coming up for a ruby wedding. Didn’t give a ff what anyone else thought.

Runworkeatsleeprepeat · 13/04/2019 22:33

Met at 16 married at 26 first children at 32 celebrating 30 years together and 20th wedding anniversary. We didn't rush into anything dh still doesn't!?

hartof · 13/04/2019 22:38

22 we've been married 11 years this year

adaline · 13/04/2019 22:42
  1. DH was 34.
LookMoreCloselier · 13/04/2019 22:49

Got together at 21, engaged 23, pregnant at 24, had first child at 25 and married that year too. Married for ten years. Don't recall any negative comments about age.

chubbylover78 · 13/04/2019 22:54

Met my 1st husband when I was 19, got wed at 22, divorced at 28. Met my second husband at 29 and married him last year on my 40th birthday

isntthatalwaystheway · 13/04/2019 23:03

34, last Summer 🙂