To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel!

Hate to see babies with their ears pierced. Pure vanity for the parents with absolutely no benefit to the child. The initial pain would be bad enough but there's also the risk of infection and them catching them or pulling them out. Makes me shudder. And for what? Because it's 'cute' 🤦🏻‍♀️

Totally agree with the op, there should be an age restriction. I know a few people who have had their babies ears done and they are for want of a better word, chavs.

Are historic cultural practices beyond reproach? Surely our standards have changed in the last few generations and cultural norms should be capable of evolving in line with modern thinking. The rights of children and consent have changed dramatically. Think of the smacking debate for example, it was culturally acceptable to use physical punishment in schools when my parents attended them. It’s no justification for continuing to use it. Specifically regarding respect for foreign cultures, well, they should be respected up to a point and that point is where they infringe on the rights of children. IMO no parent should be able to consent to what is essentially as assault amounting to actual bodily harm on behalf of their children without good reason. Historic cultural practices as aesthetics are not good reasons.

Pinkyyy,
I think you need to read and really think about the current Guest Blog on Mumsnet, which is about the dangers of Gender Stereotyping. It is excellent and explains why attitudes such as yours need to change.
Inflicting deliberate pain on a baby for your own gratification is wrong and,thankfully, attitudes to corporal punishment and other areas concerning adults not respecting a child's bodily autonomy, have changed dramatically over the past 50 years.
I do not understand how someone can inflict pain and argue against bodily autonomy. I think increasingly many people feel the same and I really hope the law changes soon to reflect this concern and outlaw attitudes such as yours.

Oh are leggings chavvy too? Yay I am a chav then!

I don't like anything which restricts a child from playing and moving freely. So its babygros or leggings and tops all the way here. Allowed to get as mucky as they like, in fact I fully encourage it. Nothing sadder than seeing a little girl on the sidelines who really wants to join in the play but isn't allowed to get her dress dirty .

I must admit I hate earrings on babies full stop. They are perfect as they are and don't need any adornment. For my children they need to be old enough to consent, care for their piercings properly and it needs to be done by a proper piercer with a needle.

“It’s cultural” is a convenient way to explain away unpleasant practices in the hope that they can continue.

Most proper piercing studios will not pierce a child under 8 or about depending on the studio. I think places like Clair's etc should not be doing it as they use guns which are extremely unhygienic and painful.
I think aslong as a child can ask you and are can understand the aftercare etc then it's fine I think 12/13 Is a bit over the top

I was 8 when I had mine done. Old enough to know i wanted them, look after them and understand it was going to hurt.
I think as long as those 3 criteria can be met it's ok. I cant imagine many under 8 ticking those boxes though.
Why on earth you would get it done to a baby i have absolutely no idea. Horrible idea. Babies aren't accessories.

We see raising children as the most important thing there is, and so we do everything we can to give them the best of everything.

Oh FFS. That's not specific to one culture, that's how the majority of parents and cultures think.
I also want the best for my child, best education possible, lots of opportunities and physical exercise. Being pristine is not on the list, in fact in my opinion it is a negative. Children should be able to explore and discover without worrying about what but they're wearing. You still haven't explained what significance a pierced ear actually holds.

We had sixteen as the age of consent for an invasive procedure. Ours knew it was pointless asking before then. I don’t think children should be given everything they want and need to learn to wait. Children with pierced ears look ghastly and I’ve no desire to sexualise a young child.

One of girls had them pre school ball, the other hasn’t had them pierced yet. Our son was not allowed but by the time he could decide he knew it wouldn’t be good for his career.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-baby-daughter-pierced-cheek-dimple-cheek-mother-circumcision-male-fgm-childrens-rights-a7824136.html%3famp

I hope this link works.

If not this is an article from the independent. It did the rounds in the news and on social media a couple of years ago. A mother posted a picture of her baby with a dimple piercing. That is a piercing through the cheek. She says that she thinks it looks cute, if the baby doesn't like it when she's older age can just take it out, but she's sure the baby will thank her when she's older.
This story caused outrage! Loads of people who were all for ear piercings on babies kicked off saying it was "different" but couldn't really explain why.
The story was a fake, posted by the mother to make people's think about body modification on children.

I come from a cultural background (won't specify) but we have many things we do because it's out culture, the thing is, I don't blindly follow the instructions on the tin. If I don't know the reason behind something, why would I do it? Surely that is the lemming approach. Oh it's my culture to jump off this cliff because that's what everyone else has done. Best jump too!

Pinkyyy can you tell me why it is part of your culture and how shoving metal posts into a child's head helps to showcase that you want the best for them? Surely what's best for the child would to not be in pain and possibly face an infection? It's an unnecessary procedure that causes pain and can easily go wrong.

Cherrypavlova how is it sexualising them? What is sexual about an ear piercing?

Also I thi I the concerns over a career are a little OTT. Piercings can be removed if that was a problem.

I don't agree with "it looks chavvy" as a valid argument against ear piercing. Who am i to judge what babies look like? There are certain things i think look silly on a baby and i am not going to list them but thats my opinion and its personal choice on how we dress our children before they express their own preferences. (Assuming the clothes were safe and weather appropriate) That said i do disagree with piercing babies ears for the pain/trauma inflicted without their knowledge or consent, and the risk of catching earrings on things or finding them and choking. Those are tangible things that could harm a baby, not just that it doesn't fit my ideal of what a baby should look like!

I’ve seen the aftermath of a 3 year old who got her earring stuck in a string hammock before she fell off it. Ripped the earring straight through the hole, complete with the clasp and some of her hair. Was utterly grim.

Mine were allowed there’s when they could ask, take them in and out themselves and keep them clean and when they knew and understood it would hurt.

Most decent tattooists/piercers wouldn’t touch a baby or toddler. If your piercer will then ask yourself why!

cushellekoala

Great post.

16. I just don’t think it looks nice on young children anyway. I got mine done at 12 then two more times in my teens. I loved wearing earrings. But I don’t like them on little kids.

I can't believe that well-known accessories shop is STILL allowed to pierce ears full stop. They give piercings in the middle of a crowded, unclean shop, using piercing guns which should be banned completely. Im 100% against very young kids getting their ears done... How on earth do you keep a one year old from messing with freshly pierced ears long enough for them to heal? And how is a one year old supposed to be able to consent to piercings??

I had to leave Claire’s a few weeks ago when a little baby, probably about 4 months old was getting hers done. She was so smiley before hand but was literally red in the face sobbing once they had done the first one and then there was still the other 😥

My dd who’s 8 has been repeatedly asking for hers to be done! She started asking when she was 6!

I’ve explained what will happen and it will hurt she’s still adamant 🤷‍♀️ I’m trying to hold off till next year. I don’t think that she’s quite able to look after them at the moment.

I’m not keen on babies having their ears done I don’t think that is right.

I'm taking my 16yo DD to have some dermal hoops put in her back either side of her spine - double duty she can lace up her skin like a corset and I can attach a long line dog lead to keep her away from Urban Outfitters and TopShop.

I think we've inspired BBC Newsround to raise questions over this too!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/amp/47898503

I got mine done at 12, end of year 7. I'd set a limit of 11 or 12 I think. Other than a couple of girls who had them done younger just because or for cultural reasons, most of my year got them done in the summer hols after years 6,7,8 or 9. I still know a few people who haven't, their choice. My mum was 30! You should definitely be old enough to consent, understand it's going to hurt and be capable of sensibly looking after your holes and the jewellery without needing help (unless there's a problem). I don't think it's a good idea on younger children, and I don't like earrings on men so I wouldn't allow a son of mine to get it done until they were at least 16. Preferably 18.

My junior school didn't allow earrings to be worn in school at all, so piercings had to be done in summer hols. A couple of girls in my year pushed their luck and got second holes done, in term time to boot. They definitely weren't allowed to keep the piercings. In seniors, we were only allowed one set of studs in, and they had to be out completely for PE, so again, summer holidays.

I agree that only body piercers should be allowed to do it. My old manager had previously worked at Claires & trained people to pierce. She used to let people practice on her and she had some shit ones! Also went to school with someone who had one lobe pierced correctly and one pierced through the bottom- nice n wonky. Claires handiwork .

My daughter had to wait until she was 13. It was like a teenager rite of passage and was something for her to look forward to. She did ask lots of times over the years if she could get them done but because I'm the parent I had no problems saying no.

It's pointless having a thread like this on mumsnet as everyone is just agreeing with each other and insulting the minority who doesnt.

2 of my kids had their ears pierced as babies (ard 12-18months). Partly cultural but also our choice entirely. It was done properly (needle) with no distress and allowed us to ensure it was fully healed before school. It was done at an 'easy' age. I wouldn't do it at 2yrs old until about 9-10yrs old personally.
My son hasn't had his ears pierced not because he's a boy (culturally both genders have pierced ears) but because he was being assessed due to seizures etc at the time so that was not at the forefront of our minds. Now it's too late so I'll wait for him to ask in the future, if he does.

We make all sorts of decisions for our kids for various reasons. I do not believe this is the most pointless, selfish or 'abusive', far from it. If done properly it doesn't cause distress.

I'll step out now as I know it's pointless and people would rather agree with each other and vilify people who do things differently LOL

I'm still waiting for someone to explain the cultural reasons for piercing babies' ears.