To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel!

I agree. It's for the parents sake, not the child's. And it should be done by a piercer who uses a needle, not a gun that shatters cartilage.

But the Mumsnet adage has always been that this thinking is correct and any culture that doesn't think the same way is backwards.

Nah. For one Mumsnet isn't some sort of hive mind and for another it's hardly culturally insensitive to argue that inflicting pain on a baby for a purely cosmetic procedure is just so obviously morally wrong that I'm amazed there's any debate about it.

The fact that you're all so quick to call it 'chavvy' and even 'trampy' is purely a reflection on yourself. If you are too closed minded to realise that different cultures and ethnicities all have their own ways of life then shame on you. People from different parts of the world have already stated that it's important in their culture, but you're too ignorant to see anything other than your own outlook.

YANBU. It should have an age limit.

I stupidly allowed my DD to have her ears pierced at 6 after two years of badgering. It went well, she cleaned them twice daily and she was a very mature 6yo who understood cleanliness... then her idiot father put cheap earrings in when they were on holiday without telling me. She ended up with a severe infection and a crater in her ear. Had to have both earrings removed and her lobe is permanently scarred.

She had them re pierced at 12, and is sensible enough to now understand what to put in her ears and what will cause harm! Two years on and it’s been fine.

Given our experience though, I’d happily support an age limit of at least 11.

There's some histrionics on here equating ear piercing to child abuse

Where is your line for what is abusive?
Because inflicting unnecessary pain on a non verbal vulnerable person counts as abusive to me.

People from different parts of the world have already stated that it's important in their culture

I simple do not care for any attempt at trying to use culture as an argument for inflicting unnecessary pain and body modification on a child who not only doesn’t consent, but cannot.

I hate seeing pierced ears on children under 12 or so and particularly on babies. They don't need pierced ears to indicate gender. But I also think hairbands look ridiculous on babies with no hair.

I agree there should be an age limit. Under 5's shouldn't have it done at all and under 16's should only have them done by someone with a medical/healthcare qualification, at a similar level to phlebotomists or pharmacists - not beauticians or glorified shop assistants. Follow-up and aftercare appointments should also be compulsory, as infection, irritation, allergic reactions and accidental damage to the piercing site are all so common. I kind of regret allowing DD to have her ears done at 8; she needed treatment for infection and it wasn't easy getting earrings that fitted her lobes properly and didn't irritate - plus, PE and dancing demanded she tape the lobes up which was a total PITA.

The whole industry needs tightening in a bg way.

Leaving aside all the other arguments there's an increased chance that a childhood piercing won't look right as an adult as ears actually continue to grow and change shape...

I would certainly question the intelligence of a parent who gets it done on their baby/toddler.

Too thick to understand the concept of consent and bodily autonomy and they should be judged.

I would go so far as to question their love for their child and their priorities if they wish to put their own need for cosmetic adornment ahead of their childs comfort. Its so incredibly selfish and ignorant.

I think babies with their ears pierced look lovely

Oh so it's ok then. ridiculous person.

Just saw it's apparently sarcasm.

Good one!

*Too thick to understand the concept of consent and bodily autonomy and they should be judged.

I would go so far as to question their love for their child and their priorities if they wish to put their own need for cosmetic adornment ahead of their childs comfort. Its so incredibly selfish and ignorant*

No. What's ignorant is people's refusal to look outside their small little boxes. In my culture, piercing a baby girls ears is an important part of raising her. You are so caught up in your own way of thinking that you even date to call people thick or selfish.

I'd like to understand why it is a cultural thing. I know that traditionally sailors wore earrings to show that they had crossed the equator/travelled round Cape Horn, and that they had the means to pay for a Christian burial. But what is the reason for other cultures?

One of the mums st my daughter's school has just had her 5 month olds ears pierced? Not cultural thing. Sorry but it looks chavvy l.

Actually, it very much can be a cultural thing. I'm appalled at the people who are willing to call people bad parents over this, it's disgusting. Would you call any parent names who doesn't do things your way?

Just because something is “cultural” doesn’t mean people can’t disagree with it and think it is wrong. Actually it is important people so question things like this or nothing will ever change

There is never a need for a young child to have their ears pierced. It can wait until they are old enough to make an informed decision and care for them themselves

@Sirzy yes I'm quite aware that people should have their own opinions and question things. People should not however, criticise another parent for doing something that -to them- is important and quite ceremonious.

Would you call any parent names who doesn't do things your way?

No, not at all. I couldn't care less about the majority of parenting. Piercing ears is different. It's been said again and again here so I'm amazed you can't understand the objections to it. It involves inflicting pain and the potential for infection on a child or baby who cannot consent. Add to that the fact that you're insisting a completely cosmetic procedure is an important thing for little girls to have (not little boys then? Are they exempt from having to spend their lives focussed on their appearance.) That's not ignorance at all. That's being able to apply a moral code. What's ignorant is being unable to look at any culture and to examine it and criticise it. No culture is above criticism. Can you explain to us why it's important to you that girls are pierced and should wear skirts and dresses?

@Raspberry88 since you asked, yes I can. Yes it is exclusively girls who get their ears pierced in my culture. We see raising children as the most important thing there is, and so we do everything we can to give them the best of everything. You wouldn't see many children from my community going to school looking anything but pristine. Having their ears pierced goes back generations and we always see it as a case of the sooner you get them done, the better. We dress our children up in the best of clothes as a sign that they are the best thing in our lives, whether they are boys or girls. I don't believe that little girls should wear trousers or leggings, because I was raised to think that it's wrong. But as I said, I'm not ignorant enough to question someone's skills as a parent based on this.

When I was growing up piercing baby girls ears was quite usual in British working class culture (though it didn't have any 'ceremonial' significance), things change over time though, and there's more emphasis on treating children as autonomous human beings rather than extensions of their parents, and there's no reason why British laws shouldn't change to reflect that.
Personally I'd start by banning piercings in Claires and similar shops, all piercings to be done in licensed clinics if the person is under 16.

Pinkyyy can you explain why having pierced ears is important in your culture.

The wearing dresses doesn’t bother me, as long as when a child is old enough to voice an opinion on clothes they are respected if they wish to wear trousers.

However the “its cultural” still doesn’t make me feel that it is right for parents to make the decision on anything like piercing for a child. Cultures can, and should, change as people realise that actually things aren’t right or aren’t needed.

Just because something has always been done isn’t a justification for it to carry on

I think it looks tacky personally on babies.
I was once in a Claire’s shop and witnessed a baby having her ears pierced. Her mum and two men were holding her down while she was screaming to have it done. I had to walk out as I found it distressing.

There's a huge amount of snobbery around ear piercing.

My view is, and always has been, that my DD can have them done, if she really wants (after months/years of asking to be sure), when she can look after them herself. For her, this was 10.

She went with a couple of friends at the beginning of the summer holidays and it was fab. One was cool as a cucumber, one seemed fine but then needed some sugar ten minutes later, and my DD cried for two minutes due to the shock/pain.

Took them all for ice cream afterwards and will never forget how delighted they all were. Had a few sleepovers during the holidays where they all shared tips about how they kept them clean/turned them etc. It was a shared adventure with a memory to treasure.

By the time they went into Y6 in the autumn they could take them out for PE so nothing affected there.

The snobbery by some of the other parents I know was hilarious though. "Oh I won't let x get hers done until she's 16 etc", said patronisingly.

Whatever. Judging other people's parenting decisions in this context is foolish at best.