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To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing
335

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 21:14

@TrixieFranklin So don't wear any earrings, problem solved. They'll either close up or even if they don't, they're so small you literally won't know they're there. Bit of a pointless thing to have years of hate over.

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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 21:19

Bit of a pointless thing to have years of hate over.

God, you're really showing yourself up here. Full of empathy aren't you. Well done for completely losing the argument.

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purplepandas · 14/04/2019 21:26

We have just done this. Youngest is 7 and expressed no interest until DD aged 9 wanted it done. I was less keen but very clear about what was involved etc. Consent is key. We did go to a reputable place where they did both ears at once and talked them through the process beautifully. I was very happy with how it was managed. They actually said they would refuse to pierce (and have done) if parents were keen and children were not. That was reassuring to me about quality and approach to piercing.

I can't fathom piercing a child's ears who could not consent. It's beyond me. Personally, 7 felt a bit young to me but DD understood completely and consented so I felt her choice with that. She was the one who was keen, me far less so!

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 21:29

@Raspberry88 I'm showing myself up? You're being ridiculous if you think this is about 'winning an argument'. I'm purely saying that it's really not a big issue at all for someone to remove their earrings and forget they were ever pierced.

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formerbabe · 14/04/2019 21:43

My dd got her ears pierced at 8. It was her idea. I've never liked young children getting their ears pierced and originally didn't want her to get them done, neither did her dad. However, she has some minor sn (nothing which affects her cognitive thinking by the way) and to be honest, having her ears pierced gives her some status amongst her peers and makes her feel like one of the cool ones, so thats why we allowed it.

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insideoutsider · 14/04/2019 21:59

I always try to keep away from these ear piercing threads - never works!

Firstly, a lot of people in the UK believe THEIR way is THE way. Only the cultural practices THEY approve are the only acceptable ones. It isn't different from what happened hundreds of years ago when the 'heathens' and their abhorrent practices were banished.
I accept that you will never understand but I'll try to answer some questions asked.

@TapasForTwo - just because you have asked several times, Cultural practice - our cultural practice of ear piercing goes down to the very origins of the culture (much earlier than UK culture) so that now, it is just ingrained in us and there is no longer a need for a reason. It's like how people wear clothes in the summer in the UK. Why? Are you cold? Afraid of body parts? When did the practice begin? I've heard of reasons for ear piercings but there is no point going into it. Boys in my culture CANNOT have their ears pierced - it's a female thing. In fact, you can see boys / men in the air plane take off their earrings before landing at home.

This practice is so entrenched in our culture that the baby's ear is pierced before leaving hospital by trained nurses. If the child is ill, the senior doctor comes in to do it. It's part of med school training. I have NEVER seen or heard of a child getting an infection from an ear piercing at that age.

Having it pierced after 2yrs is just brutal to me. Now, that is real pain.
My DCs were only a few months and even that was too late for me. An ear piercing does no damage to a baby. If a female child was seen without an ear piercing, it would be considered that she had parents that were either very neglectful or mentally deficient. It just wouldn't happen.

Culturally, if your daughter's ear wasn't pierced, she would have to work really hard to be accepted in society. It is your role as a mother to ensure her life is as simple as possible.

An uncircumcised man almost doesn't exist in my home country except he was born and abandoned and never adopted. An uncircumcised man would almost never procreate in my culture. That's for another thread though.

For all the talk of acceptance and tolerance, it's always interesting seeing comments about other people's cultures being unacceptable. The rest of the world needs to change their cultures to the UK, do they? I don't intend to convince anyone but have in mind that your view is probably very narrow and represents a tiny portion of the global population.

*PS - No, I'm not uneducated. I've studied to the highest level possible and lived in several different countries.

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insideoutsider · 14/04/2019 22:12

Oh and about consent - please, good parents do all sorts of things to / with their children without consent. Wasn't there something about how we need consent from our babies before changing their nappies?

No, we as parents who love our children take decisions on their behalf based on what we think is best. Someone mentioned vaccination upthread. I know of an undergrad (in my workplace) who doesn't speak to her parents because they vaccinated her as a baby without her consent! Confused She intends to do a march and everything (which is why I can say it here)

About autonomy, the difference I see here is that in my culture, a person's body is not just theirs. It belongs to their family and their society. Children here have a much deeper sense of belonging. Things like self-harm and suicides are very low - one of the reasons because your body is not yours to take (currently doing a study on this).

I just asked my tomboy DD what she thinks about her earholes. She asked me what I meant. I clarified. She replied, 'why is this a thing?' Hmm

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 22:12

It is very hard to explain to people on here about some cultural things. I do getwjere you are coming from, having lived in Bangladesh. I have some issues occasionally with the way culture is excused for inaccurate interpretations, for example, I have seen so many more Brits in the Middle East start dressing rheir newborns in the hijab, I don't think there is any need for this. Obvs none of my business apart from seeing colleagues proud baby pictures, but it seems unnecessary. Even with that, I don't get the angst others would report on the internet when there is so much one could do to protect vulnerable people on our doorsteps. Vulnerable people at huge risk of harm. Donate toys and clothes to womens refuges, support refugee families etc. Ear piercing and religious preferences are best left alone inless you are able to understand the difference.

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pinkboa · 14/04/2019 22:51

I'm some places they get done before you leave the hospital

Thank god every where isn't Britain!

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EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/04/2019 23:10

If I had had a daughter I would have waited until 5ish

I had mine done at 3 and yes I do remember

All my family the girls have their ears priced young for sown it’s cultural (Asian)

When I have said this before have often been patronised oh thats different what because of a different shade in skin colour

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 23:16

Thank you @insideoutsider
If a man not from your culture (and completely unaware of the implications of being a male with pierced ears) visited your home country with pierced ears would he be treated differently?

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DrBuckles · 14/04/2019 23:19

I had mine done when I was 10 months (cultural in our family)- I literally don’t care- it handy that they are so long ago that I can go ages without earrings and they are still ok. I like wearing earrings and I respect why my mum did it.

However I was quite worried when I was pregnant that if I had girls my family would expect one thing but my dh would expect another. I had 2 boys so that didn’t arise.

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Lazydaisies · 14/04/2019 23:32

Most girls get them done here between 6-8 for their communion (again which most girls make) it is not something I give much thought too. Not too gone on babies with earrings, my friend is Spanish and showed a picture of her niece with them done aged 5 days. I guess that seemed as weird to me as it must seem to you guys getting them done from 6-8.

I was really surprised in Asia to see small baby boys with their ears pierced but again it is a cultural norm in some places there for boys. Just not something I can frith over. There is so much worse going on in the world from my perspective.

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zoepn · 14/04/2019 23:32

I personally wouldn’t do it as I’d be so afraid of the child catching and ripping their earring before they were old enough to be aware and careful of it. Also, it’s much better to get piercings done with a needle but as no reputable professional piercer will usually do a young child’s ears, they’re usually done somewhere like the chain you mentioned with a gun, which is not good for the ear!! It causes trauma to the tissue. They always seem to be wonky and off centred too as children wriggle getting them done!
It definitely is a cultural thing and the norm for many, but I don’t see the need for it and would prefer my child to decide when and if they wanted them.
& earrings are not the only identifying factor of a baby’s gender! Who cares if a stranger mistakes your girl for a boy anyway 😂

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zoepn · 14/04/2019 23:36

That being said, I’m not particularly fussed if other people choose to get their child’s ears pierced. I do think it looks sweet on girls and I’ve never known anyone wish their parents hadn’t done it for them, it’s certainly not the worst thing to be done. Just personally it’s not something I’ll be doing for my own!

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insideoutsider · 15/04/2019 06:51

@TapasForTwo, if a man from outside showed up, he would be treated very differently anyway because he is a guest. We usually treat foreigners as such and don't really expect them to fall in line with our norms. In fact, if my cousins went home with earrings, my aunty would have to laugh (to others) and say "oh, they are from abroad' or something.

Having said that, with westernization, people do all sorts now, so a man turning up with earrings probably won't be the end of the world. It would just mean you disrespect your family and culture - something many of our men don't really like to do.

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Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 07:04

Firstly, a lot of people in the UK believe THEIR way is THE way. Only the cultural practices THEY approve are the only acceptable ones.

This is what I don't think you understand. To me this has nothing to do with culture...I cannot object to people piercing ears for vanity reasons but say that I believe it's acceptable for cultural reasons because that would make me a hypocrite. It's all the same to the baby. I'm not talking about insisting that all the world conforms to my particular standards but I am perfectly allowed to say that I dislike it and also to call for greater regulation in this country, which is what the petition upthread and thread is about.

Oh and about consent - please, good parents do all sorts of things to / with their children without consent. Wasn't there something about how we need consent from our babies before changing their nappies?

All the things that we have to do for our children are essential. We cannot leave babies in dirty nappies. We have to clean them and brush their teeth. Their vaccinations are to protect their health and keep them safe.

(It's interesting that you talk about people in the UK thinking that their culture is superior...your post reads as if you think your culture is superior to the UK. )

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Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 07:06

I'm purely saying that it's really not a big issue at all for someone to remove their earrings and forget they were ever pierced.

No, you've been extremely rude to someone who has told us how she feels about her body. Telling someone to 'get over themselves' is pretty horrid don't you think.

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Jasmineallenestate · 15/04/2019 07:19

Everyone is being rude. It is because it is a non issue. It's a joke thread.

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snitzelvoncrumb · 15/04/2019 07:24

I think 5 or 6 is about right. If you make them wait too long they will just pierce their own ears.

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TrixieFranklin · 15/04/2019 07:25

It's not a non issue to many, over 80,000 people in the U.K. signed a single petition on it last year alone.

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Madmarchpear · 15/04/2019 07:36

There are plenty of cultural practices that should be consigned to the past now that we are better informed and generally treat children with greater respect. I'm sorry but I think urgh whenever I see a child under 10 with them.

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Vulpine · 15/04/2019 07:39

I would never let my kids get their ears pierced just to be 'one of the cool ones' and give them status.

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Pinkyyy · 15/04/2019 07:56

@Raspberry88 no I really don't think that saying 'get over yourself' is something to get worked up about.

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formerbabe · 15/04/2019 09:44

Vulpine

I would never let my kids get their ears pierced just to be 'one of the cool ones' and give them status

Good for you. You have no idea how important it is for children who stand out as different for whatever reason to feel like they fit in and are one of the cool group. I weighed up all the options and my views (generally dislike ear piercing in children) and decided it would be ok. It wasn't my idea. She suggested it first.

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