To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel!

I was one when I had my ears pierced and although I have no memory of it, the holes in my ears are unusually high so some hoop earrings don’t fit if they are too small etc and I am very conscious of the fact.

@Tapasfortwo well for one thing in the Hindu religion it is called Karnavedha, usually done in the 1st or 3rd year of a babies life. Only reason I know this is because I worked with a woman who had her ears pierced as a baby and it became the topic of conversation - although now it is done in a more sterile environment, she had hers done with a needle and thread then gold earrings pushed through. Similar to my old Nigerian neighbour who used a needle, thread and an apple to pierce her daughter's ears but just left the black thread in. Poor baby got a terrible infection

There's lots of different cultural reasons though, some people believe it regulates a girls periods when they're older and alsorts. No one's culture should be belittled though.

I’ve just let DD have hers done at six which I personally think is too young but is six years too late according to my DH’s family (they pierce babies ears, which I think looks awful). They are forever sending her earrings as a gift and so she has been asking since she was three/four and as all her cousins and most of her classmates have it done. I relented because I felt like I was stubbornly holding onto something that wasn’t all that important.

She knew what it entailed because I showed her videos and went and watched a couple of piercings being done beforehand so I do feel she was able to consent, although I still feel it is “gilding the lily” a bit.

I would support a ban on babies and toddlers being pierced - it’s just unnecessary.

Peoples culture SHOULD age “belittled “ if it involves making holes in or cutting bits off their child for non medical reasons without that child’s consent - which (in my opinion) it can’t give until its 16

I agree with people that the child should be old enough to remove the earrings themselves without help before they are allowed to have them.

And they shouldn't be allowed to wear them to school as it is dangerous for some activities. It is unreasonable to expect teachers to take care of jewellery.

MissPollyHadADolly19
'No one's culture should be belittled though'.
What about FGM, which is cultural and traditional but not required by religions? Do you think, in spite of UK law and UN condemnation of this practice, it should be supported because it is 'cultural'?

@FuriousCheekyFucker 😂😂😂😂😂

I can see the by-monthly earrings thread has again turned into chavvy, mgm etc thing.
I have to say I am bit disappointed.

And surprised. Everyone is appaled by small child getting ears pierced, but no one is appaled by where?
I am fine with babies getting ears pierced. I had it done. But fgs, how can someone have anything pierced in the middle of a freaking shopping centre in Claire's🤢
At least where I am from it's done by a doctor in sterile environment.

*fgm

Dd7 has literally just had hers done today. Im quite gutted. I didn't want her to have them done at all, but she has been asking me since she was 6. I said she could at 7, then dragged my feel for 9 months. Finally, dh agreed to take her today. We made her watch youtube videos of ears being pierced, took her to a ear piercing specialist. The piercist explained to dh that she would stop at the first sign of upset. She had a good chat with dd first and asked her why she wanted them done. Then and only then did she do it. Dd is over the moon. I feel sad my baby ia growing up. I completely agree that children have the right to consent, but part of body autonomy is letting them have an opinion on what happens to their body. Dd7 didnt have her first hair cut until she was 5.5 as she didnt want to have it cut. Since then, she has cut her beautiful long hair short twice! I would have preferred it longer, but it is her hair.

whatsername you cant be that gutted or you wouldn’t have let her have them done.
I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it but I know some people do and unfortunately it’s their choice whether to do this to their child. To be fair to you it looks like it wasn’t just a whim and you did take her to a specialist
BUT don’t come on here and whinge about being upset your “baby” had them done, she couldn’t have had if you hadn’t allowed it.
It’s not part of growing up, my 14 year old has managed to grow up without extra holes in her body and her brother is too

I totally agree.

Hopping I think you are being a little obtuse. I wasn't whinging, just adding my opinion to everyone elses. Im sad my baby is growing up. She looks so much older, and, like many mums it makes me whistful for her baby days. It wouldnt have been my choice for her to have her ears pierced, but it was hers. Of course she could grow up perfectly well being told no and made to wait. However, my dh and I have chosen not to refuse her request now as it is one that has been discussed and she has been properly informed. Not quite the same as a parent who pierces their childs ears when the child doesnt want it done or is too young to consent. My point was, not every parent allows a child younger than 16 to pierce their ears for themselves, sometimes it is because the child wants it. I don't have pierced ears, so dd hasnt been influenced by me.

7 year olds want a lot of things, many of them are dangerous, inappropriate or just a really bad idea. As parents it’s up to us to say no to certain things. As I tell my dc when I say no it would probably be easier for me to let them do what they want but but if I think it’s a really bad idea it’s up to me to protect them from themselves and be the bad guy sometimes
As I said I personally hate it but I try not to judge as we all have different parenting styles and opinions on things but letting a 7 year old have unnecessary extra holes in their body for purely cosmetic reasons and then be “gutted” about it is pretty hypocritical

There in lies the crux - it is up to parents to say no to certain things. Every parent has different red lines. At 7 (nearly 8) the only reason I had to stop my dd getting her ears pierced was be because I dont like how grown up they make her look. Two small holes in her ears, properly cared for and looked after, are not going to put her in any danger. Her school requires them to be taped up for PE which she can do herself (we practised). Happy to agree to disagree with you.

I didn't say support the culture I said not to belittle - there is a difference.
Sigh FGM is no where near in comparison to ear piercing, a clitoris won't grow back, ear piercing holes can heal.
Besides if it was even remotely close to FGM do you not think it would be illegal for all ages?

So that time is this summer - ive since read so much about not getting it done at Clares but where else do you go.

You go to a good piercing studio that use needles not guns. You get titanium studs. You wait until the child is old enough to be fully responsible for their own piercings. For my DD this was when she was 12. We booked to have them done on the last day of summer term as no earrings of any sort were allowed at school. I had to prove I was her Mum (my passport and her birth certificate) and they said they’d like to have Dads consent too, which he gave in writing. The heavily tattooed and pierced gentleman that did it was lovely. They told us not to bother with fancy “healing” products, just use salt water. No fiddling for six weeks then return for a check that all was sufficiently healed for different earrings to be worn and go back ANY time if any problems or queries.

I got banned from a forum once for expressing my feelings on pinning down a child and causing pain for aesthetic purposes so I I’ll not say any more....

I was in that shop a while ago, a couple were in with a very young child , about 2yo maybe 3.
The Dad was holding ( as in restraining(her as the Mum filmed it. The girl screamed .
The Mum looked over at me , smiling as she filmed , in a Oh this is so lovely such a milestone way .
I hope the look of pure disgust I gave her left as nasty a taste in her mouth as I had from what I witnessed .

And I have seen several upset children having this dine, I have no idea what the level of distress would have to be for them to refuse.

It is a 'prettier' shop than a Tattoo Artists . My DD has had needle piercings , she said they do not hurt at all, you feel the jewellery not the needle and if its your ear , you hear a 'pop'

you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/ban-ear-piercing-for-babies-toddlers

We had sixteen as the age of consent for an invasive procedure. Ours knew it was pointless asking before then.

What self-respecting teen who wanted their ears pierced would wait until the permitted age of 16 as set down by mummy and daddy. Every teen needs a spark of rebellion in them even if it's just committing the shocking crime of having their ears pierced at 14 behind their parents' back.

I didn't say support the culture I said not to belittle - there is a difference.

It isn't belittling to have and express concern about a particular tradition or practice within a culture. Nothing and no one is above criticism and it's important that we don't ignore uncomfortable issues because of a fear of causing offence. I would never belittle a whole culture but ear piercing is just a single issue and I am certain that within any culture and it's community there is difference of opinion.

My daughter got hers done for her 7th birthday after asking for nearly a year. I wanted to wait until 10ish.

She understood it would hurt and they would get infected if she didnt take care of them. She cleaner and twisted them 3 times daily for 5 months (meant to be 6 weeks but she did it as routine until the bottle of cleaner ran out)

I am happy woth the decision, i didn't once have to remind her to clean or twist them, they were done at a reputable beauty salon with a needle.

I think 7 is a good minimum age

@Raspberry88 I'm not accusing anyone of belittling but these threads can get abit heated when it comes down to ear piercing and cultures get brought into it, yet some may look down at the "western culture" for things we see as totally normal.

yet some may look down at the "western culture" for things we see as totally normal.

But ear piercing babies is a thing in some western cultures. It's something that happens inside of lots of different cultures and outside of them too. The only people bringing 'culture' into the debate are those who are using it as a justification for it. But there are many cultural practices that have been phased out over time and there's no reason for this to be any different.

Putting an age limit on piercing seems very arbitrary to me. My dd was 7 when she got hers done she asked and I said yes as I don't have a problem with it. She did get a bit worked up and I said we'd just go home but she was determined. Honestly I don't like the look of earrings on babies myself but when I saw how much she was worried about it I did just wish I'd done it when she was a baby and saved her the hassle. She's 11 now and if she asked for a second set or even a third I wouldn't say no nor would I say no to getting her nose pierced. I wouldn't want her to have her belly button or lip done yet for example but as I say it's all a bit arbitrary.