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To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing
335

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

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PeoniesandPretties · 11/04/2019 16:06

Totally agree, I use to manage a baby nursery. One baby had their ears pierced and the butterfly went missing, we had to close the whole room down as we could not risk another baby swallowing it. The parent was mortified and we had to ban earrings in the under twos departments.

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ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/04/2019 16:11

I agree Op.

As for the PP who says it “looks cute” Hmm plenty of people would find a baby with its belly button pierced “cute” but that’s not a good enough reason to do it.

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BloodsportForAll · 11/04/2019 16:16

Thanks for sharing that, @MooseBeTimeForSnow

I've often wondered why the hell the staff do it.

The piercing area is often in the window of a Claire's, and I've given very obvious dirty looks to parents with their small babies getting it done.

It NEVER looks right on a baby or toddler and often looks ridiculous on kids under ten.

I had stepdaughters once. The eldest's piercing holes were done when she was tiny, and as she grew the holes ended up in the wrong place on her grown up ears. She hated being made to wear earrings too.

I've always told my daughters that if they decide they want it done, to talk to me, but that I would never force them. It's permanent. The holes can close up but there is always a simple.

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mirime · 11/04/2019 16:30

I was three, wanted it done, repeatedly asked, my parents decided I knew what I was asking for and agreed. Cleaning and taking care of the piercings was fine. I remember all this clearly, piercing was done with a needle, I remember having them bathed every day, and how pleased I was to be able to wear earrings (though I wasn't allowed to wear anything except sleepers for years).

Interestingly though, my parents, particularly DF, completely changed their minds on this and I wasn't allowed to have further piercings at 16, I had to wait until I was 18, when I promptly got a further five piercings in my ears (still have four of those) and my eyebrow done (long gone, sadly).

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NearlyVegan · 11/04/2019 16:30

12 is a good age. I had my ears pierced as a baby and wouldn't dream of doing the same to my kids so the people saying it's just normal that's no excuse. It is mutilation in a very mild form.

However I actually love my piercings and was allowed to get my nosed pierced at 12 which Iv always loved. Got my belly button at 15 which my body quickly rejected, it left me with a horrible scar and put me off thoroughly after that.

I'd still like my nipple done but prefer having two nipples so would never take the risk.

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nutsfornutella · 11/04/2019 16:44

I think 16 is far too high- you'd end up with lots of people doing it at home in unhygienic ways. You can join the army at 16!! My dd had it done at 7/8 ish? She understood that it would hurt momentarily and that there was self-care involved and that she couldn't swap earrings in and out for a while.

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areyoubeingserviced · 11/04/2019 17:01

My mother pierced my eyes when I was a baby. I don’t even think about whether it is
‘mutilation’. To be honest , it’s never been a big deal to me.
It’s only when I started to read Mumsnet , that I realised that people had issues with it.

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ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/04/2019 17:04

My mother pierced my eyes when I was a baby.

Grin sounds horrendously painful! Wink

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Raspberry88 · 11/04/2019 17:06

Who cares what 'looks nice on a little girl'? They don't care they look like at that age - it's clearly all about you and what you want. You want to put them in impractical clothing and you want to modify their body to suit your whims & vanity.

Pretty much sums it up! Heaven forbid a girl should wear clothes that allow her to run and climb and jump. As long as they look nice.
I agree completely OP. Also agree with the upper age limits suggested here... definitely at least 12. Consent should always be informed consent. A 5 year old (for example) might want a piercing and might understand that it will hurt a little but do they understand the risk of infection etc.
Or fully understand about permanence. Probably not.

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Hanumantelpiece · 11/04/2019 17:10

Had a really good chat to a piercer just the other day as DC is of an age where pierced ears are the thing at school. However, piercer doesn't use a gun, and said that in order for the tissue to heal properly then it is a minimum of 10 weeks, not the six weeks that the well-known high street place trot out as a mantra. Piercer was very knowledgeable about all aspects of this and I have no reason to doubt her word. This does mean, however that DC cannot now have a piercing as it's not possible to comply with school regulations about wearing jewellery for PE.
However, rather a disappointed DC than one with a horrible infection or injury.

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PusheenPanda84 · 11/04/2019 17:27

I don’t understand why parents will put their young kids and babies through pain and distress for a fashion accessory. A few people have asked me when I’ll let my daughter who isn’t even 2 yet have hers pierced and the answer is always when she’s old enough to decided that’s what she really wants and understands it hurts but wants it that badly that she’s happy to go through it anyway. I don’t look at her now and think how much prettier she’ll be with a sparkly thing in her ears she’s perfect the way she is. That said I know parents do it and I don’t honestly believe that everyone who ever pierced their babies ears is a terrible parent but Ive seen babies screaming and unable to even understand why that’s happening to them and I struggle not to think it’s cruel.

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iolaus · 11/04/2019 17:30

My 18 year old has still not expressed any interest in having it done so doesn't have them pierced

The 17 year old was asking for ears to be pierced (and belly button) from about 3 or 4 - I think it was her 6th birthday before we agreed, and she was told that if she wanted them (ears only btw) then she had to let us clean them often etc and that it would hurt but she could either have none or both ears, no refusing after 1 (apparently thats what I did as a child) - she sat up, had them done then after the second one was done asked if she could cry now - by the time she got out of the shop she'd stopped crying
She's now and had her nose pierced at 16, second set of earrings at 16, helix and belly button at 17 (I've told her it's up to her as long as she takes care of them (and pays) but no tongue, lip or intimate area (even though they are banned till 18)

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Vinorosso74 · 11/04/2019 17:35

I agree there should be a minimum age. Say 7? My DD is 9 and doesn't have her ears pierced bit two thirds of the girls in the class do. I am happy if she wants them done now but I have no idea where she can get them done as I would prefer a proper piercer with a needle (I may get an additional one myself) and they do often have age restrictions.

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JK2012 · 11/04/2019 17:38

Children shouldn’t get their ears pierced until they are old enough to make the decisions themselves. Unnecessary and cruel for babies and young children. Looks tacky on babies anyway! I would say 5+

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PeggySuehadababy · 11/04/2019 17:46

I had my ears pierced before I could remember and when I started school all girls had earrings. It was cultural and nobody thought it was abuse.

It was only when I came to the UK that I learnt it was chav, backwards, working class etc.. but I have notice on Mumsnet also hairbands and leggings are chavs apparently. God forbid someone thought you aren't middle class.

Also, if you remove your earrings the holes in your lobes tend to close.

I'd probably more upset by the fact that corporal punishment is still allowed in the UK and nobody says anything about abolishing it.

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Biancadelrioisback · 11/04/2019 17:50

I was 12 when I had mine done, then I went OTT and got a further 16 piercings between the age of 16 & 18. I think it was my rebellion for being "forced to conform" as a child. Obviously im aware that I was an idiot.

Being a mother now, I would never let someone hurt my child to make him "look cuter". Ever. It was hard enough watching him cry out in pain when getting his vaccinations! If he ever asks me for an ear piercing when he's older I wouldn't even consider it until he's at least 12.

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TapasForTwo · 11/04/2019 17:54

Our local shop constantly has vacancies for staff. DD won't apply because she doesn't want to pierce babies' ears.

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Strokethefurrywall · 11/04/2019 17:58

It was only when I came to the UK that I learnt it was chav, backwards, working class etc.. but I have notice on Mumsnet also hairbands and leggings are chavs apparently. God forbid someone thought you aren't middle class.

Exactly this. Whilst I don't really give a shit either way if someone wants to pierce their baby's ears (live in the Caribbean, culturally normal to pierce baby's ears at a very young age), these threads are always the same.

But the Mumsnet adage has always been that this thinking is correct and any culture that doesn't think the same way is backwards.

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ooooohbetty · 11/04/2019 18:11

I disagree with it because it's painful and it also looks extremely chavvy Grin

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NoCauseRebel · 11/04/2019 18:12

Deliberately inflicting pain on an as yet non verbal child who has no concept of what is being done to them for purely vanity reasons (and there is no actual reason to have a baby’s ears pierced) is child abuse.

And I don’t give a fuck whether it’s cultural. It’s still deliberately inflicting pain on a child. FGM is cultural, do we talk that one away? No didn’t think so.

I think that once a child is able to actually speak they can be considered, but I think the high street retailers shouldn’t be allowed to do it as most of the people working in there are barely children themselves. So sixteen for the accessory shops, perhaps over seven if going to a professional.

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Brummiegirl15 · 11/04/2019 18:12

Previous posters are absolutely right.

Piercings on young children is so unbelievably chavvy, trampy and actually downright horrendous.

I don't give a shit if that offends anyone, an adult choosing to inflict pain on a young child so they look "pretty" is a disgrace.

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mrsmuddlepies · 11/04/2019 18:14

PeggySuehadababy, there is huge debate about corporal punishment. Wales are about to introduce a ban
gov.wales/announcements
I am sure the rest of the Uk will follow.
It is will enshrine in law that deliberately causing pain to babies and children is wrong. This must in turn suggest the need for a child to be old enough to consent to a piercing.
Piercing without the child's consent is wrong on so many levels.

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outpinked · 11/04/2019 18:16

YANBU.

It doesn’t look nice at all. I also resent parents believing they have autonomy over their children’s bodies purely because they had sex and created them. No, you don’t own them and their body is not yours to stab unnecessary holes into. They aren’t dolls.

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JacquesHammer · 11/04/2019 18:17

Piercings on young children is so unbelievably chavvy, trampy and actually downright horrendous

“Trampy”? Really? What definition of “trampy” do you think works here? Confused

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Exhausted18 · 11/04/2019 18:46

Unnecessary. The only people I know who get their babies/toddlers ears pierced tend to be complete narcissists or attention-seekers. I feel guilty enough when my baby wails at her vaccinations and those are to keep her safe and healthy. To knowingly inflict that pain on her just to make her look cute is ridiculous to me.

A woman I went to school with had her 2 year old son's ear pierced and immediately put up a picture of the child with a bright red ear and silver stud on social media with the hashtags #braveboy #minidaddy. Yes, because that was clearly done for the child's benefit and not yours Hmm

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