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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset I lost his umbilical cord stump?

95 replies

gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:13

I decided to keep my 6 month old's umbilical cord stump. It connected me to him and that quite frankly is amazing. I left my abusive ex and have realised that he now has this (and I have no hope in hell of getting it back). He's destroyed all my stuff and I think it was in one of the boxes he threw away.

AIBU to be a bit gutted about this? Or is that a bit weird? I've actually cried over it. Feel a bit silly...

OP posts:
Sashkin · 11/04/2019 05:23

Oh dear god no, that’s grim! Like keeping toenail clippings! Sorry, I remember the early baby days and every vomity muslin being precious, but really, no.

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:25

Really @Sashkin ? My mum has mine still and my 3 siblings' 🤭

OP posts:
steff13 · 11/04/2019 05:28

I have all my kids' baby teeth, so I won't call you weird. But, I hated those umbilical cord stumps. I tried to talk the hospital until those disgusting things fell off. 😉 No dice, though.

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:31

I'm now ridiculously imagining that I'll keep my imaginary future children's ones but not have my son's and that makes me sad. I have GAD and PND so understand the things I get upset about currently may be a little crazy to others...

OP posts:
Doghorsechicken · 11/04/2019 05:32

That is properly grim. YABU for wanting to keep that.

blackcat86 · 11/04/2019 05:32

A bit weird to keep the stump but a lot of people keep the clip and just give it a clean up. I think you've been through a lot and you need to focus on the success of getting your baby away from such a horrible man. Have a look at some counselling. These experiences can bring up all sorts of things.

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:35

Ok I feel like a weirdo now! My mum kept all of ours and I think when our parents do things they then seem normal to us...

OP posts:
olderthanyouthink · 11/04/2019 05:39

I think my mum still has mine or my brothers somewhere and I have my 4 month olds still (and the cutters DP was given to use to cut the cord) 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:42

Think I'm just feeling sad in general... so annoyed I didn't pick it up when I was at the house. I totally forgot about it

OP posts:
Sashkin · 11/04/2019 05:46

It is quite sweet you kept it! But also grim.

I still have DS’s stinky worn-out sweaty first shoes (summer sandals, worn in the sandpit, paddling pool, and everywhere else he went last summer). Plus plenty of other grim mementos like his chewed up first toothbrush. Parents keep grotty stuff, no need to feel embarrassed. But you have not failed your son by mislaying it.

ColeHawlins · 11/04/2019 05:49

You'll have so many mementoes. Don't get hung up on that (the ugliest) one Smile.

Think of it as the price you paid to be free of the abusive arse and now you're free to have a whole lifetime with your DS Thanks

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 05:50

Thank you @ColeHawlins

I don't know why I'm so bloody upset about it!

OP posts:
OneThreadOnly0101 · 11/04/2019 05:52

😷 Definitely grim OP. One of my old childhood friends had hers in a box in her room. It was disgusting. She used to chase me round the house with it 😂😂
Sorry that you're generally feeling down. Your ex is a knobber if he threw it away (even if it is gross Grin)

ColeHawlins · 11/04/2019 05:53

It's the depression.

Why don't you do foot and hand prints today? Or order the stuff for plaster prints? Something positive to make a new keepsake?

jameswong · 11/04/2019 05:58

Don't sweat it. Nice you kept it originally I think, but your son won't be bothered in the slightest when he grows up.

Bojoshatface · 11/04/2019 06:09

My mum has mine and all my siblings!!

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 06:10

I wanted to bury it and plant a tree with it somewhere Sad maybe that's a bit sad but it would've been a sweet thing to do.

OP posts:
Sculpin · 11/04/2019 06:19

I think I have my DS’s somewhere! And my DC’s baby teeth. I’ll join you on the grim team OP. It’s part of your son and I’m not surprised you’re gutted.

These things happen though. You’ve had a little cry, now it’s time to carry on putting one foot in front of the other. Good luck.

HBStowe · 11/04/2019 06:23

Plant the tree anyway, OP - as a celebration of escaping your horrible ex. You don’t need an umbilical stump as a memento when you have your beautiful son as the best record of his birth and babyhood there could ever be!

HaventGotAllDay · 11/04/2019 06:24

If it was so important you should have put it somewhere you wouldn't lose it!
But believe me, in a few years you'll have a house full of memories!
Lots more to come!

Gramgram · 11/04/2019 06:35

There will be lots of things you can keep and look forward to keeping. Pictures of his first steps, his first drawing, photos of his first day of school and the first mother's day card he makes you the list could go on and on. So perhaps you ought to start that album now.

Look after yourself and enjoy the future with your son.

Original poster
gleefullymine · 11/04/2019 06:36

@HaventGotAllDay did you read my OP? I left my abusive ex, who destroyed all my stuff, including the box that had this in. I took all of my remaining things when I left but not this. I didn't think to look for it but fairly sure it was gone like the rest of my important things.

I didn't just put it somewhere stupid and forget about it.

OP posts:
ScruffGin · 11/04/2019 06:39

If you want to feel better about this, my babies stump fell off, I put it on the side with the clip, finished the nappy change and discovered the dog had eaten it and was now chewing the clip... Was a pretty disgusting way to dispose of it!
You'll have many more things to keep hold of over the years, try not to think about it

TapasForTwo · 11/04/2019 06:39

I have no idea what happened to DD's stump. It certainly didn't occur to me to keep it.

However, I did keep her identity tag and her first outfit.

AuntieStella · 11/04/2019 06:40

Plant the tree anyhow.

Doesn't matter what's literally with it or not.

You could use it as a growing sign of the new life you are making for both DS and you

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