to be upset I lost his umbilical cord stump?

[gleefullymine]

I decided to keep my 6 month old's umbilical cord stump. It connected me to him and that quite frankly is amazing. I left my abusive ex and have realised that he now has this (and I have no hope in hell of getting it back). He's destroyed all my stuff and I think it was in one of the boxes he threw away.

AIBU to be a bit gutted about this? Or is that a bit weird? I've actually cried over it. Feel a bit silly...

Oh bless you. I do think it's super grim but you've obviously been through it recently.

I felt awful throwing mine dcs' away so got dh to do it. But I knew they had to go

I have ds's. It might be grim. I also have the little blood spot tissue from his pinprick test too so I get it.

But like a pp said. You have come so far, and in a few years, you will have a home full of memories and happiness and love. And you have your ds which is the most important part of it all. He'll grow up but he'll always be your baby.

Well done on your escape. I still mark mine with a raised glass to myself most years.

I kept some of my sons' teeth!
I think your feelings are more to do with the fact your ex got rid of it rather than you 'losing' it. X

Keeping teeth I can (sort of) understand but keeping the stump is proper grim!

Rather than telling OP that she is grim can we all just realise that there is a woman in pain here, who has escaped abuse and has a small child and has done all this whilst having PND sand GAD.

OP it makes sense to me that you feel sad, I would too if I were in your situation. Try and look how far you have come, that happy child, who you’ve have changed your world to protect, is the link between you two.

My mum kept the stump and so did we so I don't think you're weird

I’m not a parent and didn’t know that this was something parents kept and find it odd. Still I’m sorry that you don’t have it when it meant something to you.
Well done on getting away from your ex. Just like your DS you should be really proud of yourself.
I agree with the others about planting the tree anyway.

Could you order the newspaper from when your DC was born or buy a copy of a book if you were reading/music playing in the days before the birth?

Maybe it would be easier to think of it like a wee fairy tale.

You were saving your precious baby from the evil monster and all he got was a memory of what he lost. You, after many battles and dark moments, get to watch your son grow up to be a fine man!

That’s disgusting. It’s just rotting flesh. Very unhygienic and weird.

People actually keep it gross

I've never heard of this being done before, I think it's really disgusting.

But then again, I think keeping baby teeth gross, and lots of people do that.

I kept them for a bit and then lost them. You have pnd so be gentle on yourself and remember a lot more connects you
With your child!

Aw you aren't weird. My mum kept mine, I've got my dd's and my oh has his dd's too.
It does make me feel a bit 🤮 when I look at it though.

I can see why you are upset, we get sentimental about these things. But at the end of the day, it's just a part of your dd that was supposed to fall off. You've got the best part

Your abusive ex has your son's umbilical stump.

You have your son

I can assure you that there will never come a time when he will want it

Give him a big hug and let it go.

You have given your son the best start by leaving an abusive relationship.

It is enough

It never occurred to me to keep it, I didn't know it was a thing people did. I'm fairly sure I still have the clip and his hospital tags somewhere but I couldn't say with any degree of certainty where they are.

My abusive ex threw my DD's cord stump away too. I was sad about it for a very lilong time. Your feelings are right for you. Take your time to heal- therapy really helped me x

I didn’t realise people kept these, I binned them immediately! Rotten smelly flesh

But I’m sorry you’ve lost something so sentimental to you, that sucks

Yanbu!

As parents we keep the weirdest of things don't we? I remember having a complete breakdown because I accidently threw my eldest child's cord away, admittedly I was only going to keep the clip but still!

I'd still go ahead with the tree though, that's a beautiful idea

The rotten old stump may be gone gleefully but you are left with the beautiful being it was attached to. You and your son are connected by blood,genes and love for life regardless of whether you have ownership of his umbilical cord or not. So try not to dwell on it and just enjoy that living,breathing bundle of joy that you brought into the world,and be proud that you took him away from an awful life with an abusive man x

What Aprillygirl says.

YANBU to be upset, but it is what it is and if it's gone it's gone. Concentrate on your future with your beautiful DS and on making new and better memories for you both.

The cord made me feel properly sick.

Congratulations on your boy and your escape. All the best for a happy future OP!

YABU.

Disgusting things. I didn't keep any of my children's. Urghhh!

Please read carefully people. Think how this has been “lost”. It’s not about whether you would keep it.
OP how about planting the tree but with a lock of hair? Still a special thing. Good luck to you and your LO. I’m so glad you’re away from that abuse. You’ve been so strong. Hope you’re having treatment for PND.

Maybe it feels like a safe thing to be upset about rather than other things that might just be too big to put into words. Let yourself have a big cry, rant yell whatever and then move on with the pride of standing up to your bully of an ex and escaping that life for you and your child. Make some hand or footprints now, go and buy a new memory box to start your treasure chest from now. It’s not ever too late and you carries your baby within your body- that’s all you. No one can take that away from you.

UGH!!!!!! Is this even a thing? I wasn't even given the option to have mine. I have never heard of this. I'm sorry your ex was abusive but honestly I'd have thrown out an umbilical cord stump if I found it in the house just because I'd have found it disgusting. I have bad morning sickness at the moment and the idea of this really just gave me a burst of nauseau 🤮