To think my SIL hates me for stealing her limelight

[MissPollyHadADolly19]

Me and SIL have had a fantastic relationship throughout mine and DHs marriage, when she was pregnant with her DD and after the birth we was even closer, we would talk every day and see eachother whenever possible.
Then I found out I was expecting in December and have seen her all of twice since and mainly by circumstance rather than choice, probably speak to her once in a blue moon and not once she has asked me about the pregnancy or even how I am in general.
As it is she's her DMs "favourite" and her DD is the only grandchild, which I believe SIL thought would be the case for a long time due to the fact I have had fertility issues and none of the other siblings have or are likely to have any DC in the near future. SIL quite likes being the centre of attention and is now well aware that because I am also having a DD that she is going to lose centre stage, for reference mine and MIL still have a good relationship. MIL also provides SIL with financial support, childcare, housing and everything inbetween - I don't expect any of this but obviously SIL must think otherwise.
Am I being over dramatic or is my SIL being abit of a brat?

Because since she’s had a baby she hasn’t seen you? Or because she’s not asking about your preganancy?
I can’t see any indication she’s being a brat at all.

What has she actually said or done? Could you simply be reading too much into things and she’s actually just looking after her dd. I never understand how people expect people to behave a certain way when someone is pregnant. People get pregnant and have kids it’s just a fact of life but they don’t always check in constantly with the pregnant woman.

No since being married I spoke to her atleast every day, had a good relationship and was quite close up until I announced my pregnancy, since then I've not heard anything from her she will reply to my messages but with simple dead ended answers and will not go out of her way to contact me unless she has to

I think your pregnancy hormones are getting the better of you, to be honest.

Yeah but you're guessing really, aren't you? Why don't you invite her round, or offer to take her to lunch, And say you'd like to talk babies with her, pick her brain, and get some tips from her? B/f vs bottle, co-sleeping, how is her DD getting on etc? It might just be a misunderstanding.

YANBU. It is very odd that she hasn't asked you about your pregnancy.

MIL also provides SIL with financial support, childcare, housing and everything inbetween - I don't expect any of this but obviously SIL must think otherwise.

Must she ? Why's that?

Ooh you really don't like her do you …… you've got the green eyed monster because she had a baby with no interventions …. Nothing will stop SIL being MILs daughter and her DD being the first born GC

I don't expect anything just confused as to why since I've become pregnant she's basically cut me off.

Maybe she’s had a miscarriage? Maybe she’s struggling for child number two? Maybe she just isn’t interested in someone else’s pregnancy? Maybe she’s had enough of daily contact? Maybe she’s too busy with her own family?
But I can’t see anything brattish about it.

Could be you’ve upset her and nothing to do with you’re pregnancy. She might sense you disapprove of her lifestyle choices which you clearly do as you posted them here.

MissPollyHadADolly19 good luck with the pregnancy. Don't worry about it. It will all resolve soon, I imagine. Just be nice and take the high ground

How ildy old is her Dd ? Chances are she is busy or exhausted

Blimey! Did a flag go up for people to pile on the OP here...

How old is SIL's DD now? I can absolutely see from your side how, if she has cut contact pretty much since your announcement, it seems very likely to be linked. Especially if you were talking almost daily before hand.

Has it just been a few days? Maybe she just needs to let the news sink in?

Sorry, just re-read the OP and see it was December. Have you actually asked her why she has withdrawn? It's got to be worth a shot, although likely she'll just get defensive if it is jealousy or worry about her DD not being the only DGC

How do I disapprove of anything? I dont care what MIL does or doesnt do for her.
She's not trying for DC2 she's going through a divorce and I have done everything to support her since.
So you're telling me someone you've spoke to daily for 4 years, have supported eachother and seen eachother regularly all of a sudden wants nothing to do with you, won't respond properly to messages and basically ignores your existence isn't abit strange? I must have a funny idea of what family should be like then.

It's hard to tell, but I suggest you enjoy your pregnancy and the baby when she arrives.

From what you've described it looks like your MIL will be closer to her DGD because of the current set up.

Stop texting her if you think she's blowing you off.

The whole centre stage thing sounds a bit childish...what she could be thinking is how different your babies life will be to hers. She depends on her mum for a lot and it doesn't sound like her baby has an involved father.

dontpointatme

I think the reason people might be harsh is ops post was very judgemental against Sil and she hasn’t said or done anything remotely bratty. She simply distanced herself for whatever the reason is. I did this with my Sil because her behaviour was disgraceful and yet she had no idea why because she simply saw no wrong in her actions , I didn’t fawn over her when she announced her second pregnancy simply because of her behaviour towards my family, no fallout nothing said just removed myself from being involved.

It could be because she is going through a divorce. Her family is breaking up. It must be hard for her. Might not be about you.

She’s going through a divorce? MAJOR drip feed. And you can’t see why she doesn’t want to chat to you daily and talk about your pregnancy?

Have you sent her a message along the lines of, “Haven’t heard from you much recently, hope everything is ok with you. Perhaps when you are free we can catch up.”?

Maybe there’s something going on that is just nothing to do with you, her mother etc. People have their own lives and own shit to deal with.

You have you’re answer there op she’s going through a divorce.Her family unit is dividing whilst you’res is starting, of course it will be hard pill to swallow. When we have dc we never imagine we would a single parent. Having been there left holding the baby and working I was depressed for a good year, don’t underestimate the impact a relationship breakdown can have.

You have listed the problem and what you believe has caused it but not really provided any 'evidence' to support your view beyond your SIL no longer being in frequent contact with you since your pregnancy was announced.

Your SIL may be being a bit of a brat but it's difficult to judge.

If you were in daily telephone contact until December who used to make the calls? I can't see how the daily calls stopped unless she was the one who always called you and then suddenly stopped. Didn't you ring her frequently too? If so, why have you stopped?

Don’t get most of these replies at all. OP has outlined a situation which is very odd - she’s been dropped by someone she was in daily contact with ever since she announced her own pregnancy. I think that is terrible behaviour on the part of your SIL and is most likely to be down to jealousy. It’s a sad situation for you and I hope it doesn’t put too much of a downer on this amazing time in your life.

Maybe she’s had a miscarriage? Maybe she’s struggling for child number two?

This. You have no idea what is going on in her life. If you're concerned about a change in her behaviour you could bring it up with her in a nice way.

Her DD will be one in a month.
She has always been dominant in her relationship with her other siblings and DH has had alot of feuds in the past with her for that reason but despite their rocky relationship we haven't let that affect how we treat eachother.