To think my SIL hates me for stealing her limelight

[MissPollyHadADolly19]

Me and SIL have had a fantastic relationship throughout mine and DHs marriage, when she was pregnant with her DD and after the birth we was even closer, we would talk every day and see eachother whenever possible.
Then I found out I was expecting in December and have seen her all of twice since and mainly by circumstance rather than choice, probably speak to her once in a blue moon and not once she has asked me about the pregnancy or even how I am in general.
As it is she's her DMs "favourite" and her DD is the only grandchild, which I believe SIL thought would be the case for a long time due to the fact I have had fertility issues and none of the other siblings have or are likely to have any DC in the near future. SIL quite likes being the centre of attention and is now well aware that because I am also having a DD that she is going to lose centre stage, for reference mine and MIL still have a good relationship. MIL also provides SIL with financial support, childcare, housing and everything inbetween - I don't expect any of this but obviously SIL must think otherwise.
Am I being over dramatic or is my SIL being abit of a brat?

Sorry if you have said already OP - but is your SIL your husband's sister, or your husband's brother's wife?

One year old, divorce. Perhaps PND, she is feeling very low and your life looks a lot brighter. Ask your MIL if she is ok. Leave her alone for now, she may be in a bad place.

Ignore the vipers OP. Regardless of the bullshit you read on this site it IS weird for someone to go from speaking to you regularly and being a close friend to just ignoring you. It may not be due to your pregnancy but that seems the most likely cause.

Are you close enough to MIL that you could ask her if your SIL is ok? Or could your DH?

OP from your updates you don’t sound like you actually like your sil so why are you even bothered?

Also loving the usual ‘oh why are some posters so bitchy’ lines - no we aren’t bitchy (nice bit of everyday sexism there but the way) we are just telling the OP a DIFFERENT VIEW.

It is possible to give a 'different view' without vitriol and sniping Arabella, but some posters seem incapable of that.

And then they get snarky and defensive when they're called out.

There have been some despicable comments from a few posters on this thread. Bet they wouldn't speak to people like that in real life.

As a pp said.. keyboard warriors, that's what they are.

She's DHs sister. They don't get along but me and her always have, MIL introduced us.
I have asked MIL but she says she's like it with everyone which I know is just her defending SIL, understandably. MIL and I are very close too, we still talk every day and the only time I see SIL is if I'm meeting up with MIL and she invites her.

She has a queen bee attitude and liked being the centre of attention and threw tantrums when she didn’t get her way?
That’s your opinion of her?
And you still don’t get why she might want to distance herself from you?
Not sure how thinking of someone in those terms means you have a close bond. You seem to quite dislike her. Maybe you’re just too similar OP.

alittlesnow

Please point out where the vitriol and sniping are in my posts ?

Oh WolfieFan give over, try reading the rest of my posts. I have clearly said that is her attitude with others but has never affected mine and her relationship. You can point out someone's flaws AND still respect them.

Arabella - keep clutching straws.

You mention all her bad points repeatedly yet claim you’re close. You never mention anything you actually like about her and don’t care enough to pick up a phone and ask her what’s up.
She’s going through a divorce and your idea of an ice breaker is to send a scan picture. You sound completely self involved and frankly a bit of a drama llama. Glad you’re not my friend or relative.

You don't like her. You don't have anything positive to say about her.
Enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy your close relationship with MIL.
Just don't rub her face in it.
And don't begrudge any support your ILs give to her.
You've got your own priority now. She's got her own. Don't compete.

And for what it's worth, I think it's a shame that your friendship has broken down because (seemingly) you're looking forward to the next happy stage in your life just at the time she is dealing with turmoil and anxiety in her own.

Whoever was originally at fault, it's a shame you've decided she is a jealous brat because she is distancing herself from you. She's done nothing nasty to you, she's (probably) just trying not to spoil your joy by bringing you down with her troubles and/or envy.

WolfieFan, I may not agree with what you are saying but I'll defend your right to say it. On that note your point has been taken on board for future reference.

If I didn't like her I'd be glad to see the back of her. I miss the times we would spend together, daily messages and gossip, the updates of my niece and actually seeing her.
I don't want the support she has from MIL, more importantly I don't need it as much as her. I just feel that she thinks I'm somehow taking it away or she will not be a priority anymore. I just thought mine and SILs relationship was alot stronger than for her to stop contact because of my pregnancy.

your SIL sounds vile.. certainly not worth the effort.. stop contacting her OP.

FWIW she has always been the golden child, out of all my MILs 7 kids my SIL only has a good relationship with her younger sister, her other siblings don't give her the time of day. When I was introduced to her my DH warned me not to get too close because of how dominant she is. Despite any of this I still formed a strong bond and enjoyed spending time with her, she was like the sister I never had. I took on board what others had said but never judged her because of it so for those saying it's my opinion of her it actually isn't. It's what I know of her which I had tried to make clear in my PPs but obviously not clear enough.

Identical scenario with my SIL

Was all lovely when she was the only one with children.
She might not have expected us to have children due to fertility issues but nearly as soon as I was pregnant she has totally avoided me where possible

If MIL says she’s like that with everyone maybe she is.

I don’t see how sending a scan of your baby will help.

If she’s struggling with her divorce and wondering if her child will ever have a sibling it’s not the most tactful thing to do is it?

@Bebeboeuf sorry you're going through the same. Was you close beforehand? It really hurts when someone who you're meant to have a good relationship with totally cuts themselves off.

Oh WolfieFan give over, try reading the rest of my posts. I have clearly said that is her attitude with others but has never affected mine and her relationship. You can point out someone's flaws AND still respect them.

Arabella - keep clutching straws.

Don't rise to it Miss Polly.

I guess when she was announcing her pregnancy and we would go baby shopping together I should of cut myself off because of my own issues too then? I didn't know if my child would have a sibling either. She knew my issues, still invited me out, still invited me to the baby shower and wanted me present at the birth, was that tactful? I wanted to be there to support her, because of my love and respect to her but of course it hurt like hell. She was excited and I was excited for her that's what mutual respect is.

I would never expect someone to walk on eggshells for me so to then do it for someone else feels abit of a double standard. Especially given the circumstance.
I

@alittlesnow you're right, the AIBU page never ceases to amaze me.

You are at a happy stage in your life, she is at a negative stage. Sometimes when a person is low, they don't want support from a happy person. You could also be absolutely right, she may be feeling you might be poised to take some support away from her (i.e the grandparents) and what stands out is you say she and her brother don't get along, even though you get along with her. When stuff is written down, reread it and the answers given, your responses to questions are very one-dimensional. i.e" It was this way, now it is not and it is because she is jealous", it comes through this way OP and in real life she may like you but feels you are just not a person she would approach with any weight or seriousness for more substantial issues.