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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby in cafe

658 replies

Ginnymweasley · 09/04/2019 18:52

Today I was out with my dd(3) and my ds (9 months). We went into a small cafe for lunch, sat down and decided what we were having etc. Waitress came over and we ordered and i asked for a high chair, she informed me there was only 1 high chair and it was in use. So I got ds out if his pram for a bit cause he hates being in it if we are not moving.
He sat on my knee and played for a few mins but then started to get grumpy. He is at that stage where he wants to be moving as much as possible. I got up with him and let him walk around the table a few times holding my hands etc. He wasnt crying or anything just a trying to get down and throwing toys.
A couple came and sat on the table next to us. I stayed stood up with the baby,I didn't go near their table just let him walk around the chair/table to his sister and back. He started shouting a bit, again not crying just babbling loudly. I shushed him, picked him up and tried to distract him. By this point our food arrived.
I strapped him back in his pram and gave him some food to eat. He was again babbling and threw a few bits on the floor. The couple next to us at this point got up,loudly asked to be moved as they didn't like noisy children and parents that couldn't control them. I apologised but they just turned round and said I should have left the cafe as soon as he started making noise but my dd was eating and i was alone so i couldn't do that.
I was so embarrassed, my dd is brilliant when we are out and my ds wasnt screaming just babbling loudly. Wibu?

OP posts:

SilviaSalmon · 09/04/2019 20:37

If your baby was shouting I can understand why the noise was bothering the table next to you. But it sounds like you were doing everything you could to calm him down, so I think they were U not to quietly get up and move/leave.

EdWinchester · 09/04/2019 20:38

A noisy baby would've irritated me and I would have moved if possible. No big deal.

Original poster

Ginnymweasley · 09/04/2019 20:39

The cafe manager did apologise for the highchair when I paid, and did say they would be getting more. I don't go to this town very often so I dunno if it's a new cafe or a refurb or something. Food was nice though.

OP posts:

SosigDog · 09/04/2019 20:39

There are many situations in which people can’t sit quietly, for whatever reason. Babies babble and cry. Elderly people with dementia might wail or whistle. People with Tourette’s might shout involuntarily. People with mental disabilities might make various noises. It’s ridiculous to expect all of those people to stay at home! They have as much right to go out in public and use a cafe as anyone else. The couple were BU if they thought they could go to a public cafe and sit in silence.

hammeringinmyhead · 09/04/2019 20:41

It's the school holidays - even if public schools haven't broken up in some places, the private schools have. I have a 5 month old and even I don't want to go to family-friendly cafés during these two weeks so I'm surprised they were expecting peace and tranquillity. I have had far worse noise from 6-8 year olds in restaurants.

Lovemusic33 · 09/04/2019 20:41

How are people supposed to teach their children to eat out if they can’t take them out from a early age.

Op, you did nothing wrong and had every right to be there.

I don’t particularly like being around noisy children but would not have complained in that situation, it’s a cafe and all sorts of people go there. People can’t expect children not to be in these places and they can’t expect them to be silent.

funinthesun19 · 09/04/2019 20:42

*I would have left if I was the couple”

That’s more like it! You have the problem so you leave.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 09/04/2019 20:43

I don't think you were being UR at all. Babies make noise, we as adults know that. As long as he wasn't shouting or throwing things or bothering the other couple directly I really don't see what their issue was. DH were in a pub last night and a mum was actually playing chase with her young child around the tables, THAT was inappropriate. What you were doing was absolutely fine.

DownStreet · 09/04/2019 20:44

It’s weird how acceptable it is to say you don’t like children or they annoy you. It’s not acceptable to say these things about other groups, and we were all children and exactly the same.

AssignedNorthern · 09/04/2019 20:44

YANBU at all. The people who complained sound like arseholes.

Usuallyinthemiddle · 09/04/2019 20:48

It's really tough, isn't it, pleasing everyone? There's folks who love everything about babies and folks who don't. Not everyone is going to see the cuteness in your baby that you do. Mine were much older before I realised that.
But, they can sit somewhere else without being so horrid.

Amongstthetallgrass · 09/04/2019 20:48

Shocked at some of the replies on here ...

Op honestly I wouldn’t have given a shiny shit! Kids need to be out in settings like this. I think yourse behaved quite well tbh. I’ve sat near some adults in my time who have caused more disruption than my kids.

Fuck them

LittleChristmasMouse · 09/04/2019 20:49

How are people supposed to teach their children to eat out if they can’t take them out from a early age.
To be fair a lot of parents that take their kids out to eat have got little interest in teaching their children restaurant etiquette.

FactsOfLife · 09/04/2019 20:52

FFS. Children are people too. People need to have some bloody patience! Yanbu at all!

LorelaiRoryEmily · 09/04/2019 20:54

God they sound like arseholes op. I’ve never ever experienced that here.(in Ireland)In fact a couple of times that we’ve been somewhere with ds and he’s been noisy or whatever people have come over to chat to him. I actually don’t know anyone who’s ever experienced that.
They were dicks and you did nothing wrong

Justaboy · 09/04/2019 20:58

Took DD2 out for a birthday dinner at a very upmarket gastro pub complete with grandson 17 months and granddaugter 4 months and they could not have been more welcoming and geared up to coping with their younger customers!

They did a special menu for GS and had two high chairs avaiable too. Also gave then some colouring books and other bits to keep them amused and fortuneatly the other customers were very pleased to see the young ones.

Two grannies wanted to hold the GD which we let them do must have been in their 80's! but all in an excellent event superb food as well and this customer will now have no hesiation to go back there:-)

This is how it should be:)

katienana · 09/04/2019 20:59

You did nothing wrong OP those miserable bastards need the stick removing from their arses. I've had the eye roll a few times lately in cafes and thank God felt vindicated when my kids were impeccably behaved. I think your baby was impeccable tbh sounds like he was doing exactly what 9 month olds do. Hope it doesn't put you off in future.

Usuallyinthemiddle · 09/04/2019 21:02

justaboy I respect your right to be there, absolutely but I have no interest in holding your GC! If I've got mine, then they are quite enough and if I haven't then I'm on grown up time!! Tolerant is one thing, socialising with your kids is quite another I'd smile and then not give you another thought! (No bad thing!)

managedmis · 09/04/2019 21:02

I really dont know what kind of miserable shit you have to be, to get annoyed by a baby babbling away in a cafe!

The kind that's in the cafe to get a break from the kids at home?

NicoAndTheNiners · 09/04/2019 21:03

Anyone who is a bit noisy in a cafe is slightly irritating whether that's chattering people or babbling kids. But that's the pay off to eating out. You can't expect that everyone is going to be quiet.

The couple were rude. They were in a child friendly establishment. Fair enough to leave or ask for another table if it didn't suit but not to bitch like that.

LovelyJubbly67 · 09/04/2019 21:04

YWNBU. The obnoxious couple could have moved to the other table calmly, without the conspicuous pointing and tut-tutting, let alone telling you to leave. Parents with young children are not lepers. It's not like your youngest was screaming the house down.

Justaboy · 09/04/2019 21:05

Usuallyinthemiddle LOL!¬ as said these were to older ladies who were delighted to see the yound GD and they came over and made quite a fuss of her, we didnt shall we say went solicting attention;!

It was as described a very pleasent event!

Figure8 · 09/04/2019 21:05

I am well past the baby stage with mine, and I'm so grumpy about little kids. But.... yanbu. Babies are a fact of life and it doesn't sound like yours was being annoying loud. Not like the ones at Tesco who are screaming their heads off, and their mum is determined to ignore whilst shopping at 837000 miles per hour 😁

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/04/2019 21:05

Yes, it's really not a big deal to move if you don't like what's going on at the table next to you so for this reason, given that you were there first, they really should have just moved with no drama.

BlueSlipperSocks · 09/04/2019 21:06

I’ve 4 kids under 6. I take them to cages alone sometimes

That's a bloody great idea! Why didn't I think of that?

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