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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby in cafe

658 replies

Ginnymweasley · 09/04/2019 18:52

Today I was out with my dd(3) and my ds (9 months). We went into a small cafe for lunch, sat down and decided what we were having etc. Waitress came over and we ordered and i asked for a high chair, she informed me there was only 1 high chair and it was in use. So I got ds out if his pram for a bit cause he hates being in it if we are not moving.
He sat on my knee and played for a few mins but then started to get grumpy. He is at that stage where he wants to be moving as much as possible. I got up with him and let him walk around the table a few times holding my hands etc. He wasnt crying or anything just a trying to get down and throwing toys.
A couple came and sat on the table next to us. I stayed stood up with the baby,I didn't go near their table just let him walk around the chair/table to his sister and back. He started shouting a bit, again not crying just babbling loudly. I shushed him, picked him up and tried to distract him. By this point our food arrived.
I strapped him back in his pram and gave him some food to eat. He was again babbling and threw a few bits on the floor. The couple next to us at this point got up,loudly asked to be moved as they didn't like noisy children and parents that couldn't control them. I apologised but they just turned round and said I should have left the cafe as soon as he started making noise but my dd was eating and i was alone so i couldn't do that.
I was so embarrassed, my dd is brilliant when we are out and my ds wasnt screaming just babbling loudly. Wibu?

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 10/04/2019 10:32

What the difference between screaming and shouting in terms of volume, would you say?

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 10:32

Or all cafes to be child free?
No not all. Just some. Even pubs to be child free. Just so that people have a choice, even if that is a very limited choice.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 10/04/2019 10:35

I’d quite like some shops to be child free also... I invariably have my ankles bashed by some kid on a scooter. A balance bike; last week.
What gobshite thinks a supermarket aisle is the perfect place for little Johnny to practice his cycling skills?

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 10/04/2019 10:37

Pubs to be child free. There was a time when they were. I wonder why it suddenly became a good idea to allow people to bring their kids out on the lash?

Original poster
Ginnymweasley · 10/04/2019 10:38

A massive difference in volume and type of sound. His shouting is ba ba ba loudly but not constant screaming is a constant noise

OP posts:
Wallsbangers · 10/04/2019 10:38

As for how to stop babies throwing food in a restaurant - you don't give them food to throw, you feed them yourself. Finger foods and them feeding themselves is fine at home and when you are out you feed them.

Why? He can feed himself. He wants to feed himself. He drops things because he's little, I pick them up, clean everywhere afterwards, I never ask the staff working to clean up. My mum has a disability that means she sometimes drops food, should I feed her too?

HauntedPencil · 10/04/2019 10:40

You can't just walk out of a cafe when you've ordered food and it's arriving because a baby is making a noise.

If people are so intolerant of others they should find quiet places to go. Honestly.

You always find a few babies in cafes in the day times, the proprietors I should think are grateful for the business especially mid week.

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 10:44

If people are so intolerant of others they should find quiet places to go.

Yes they should. Where?

TheGigglingGazelle · 10/04/2019 10:45

Yes and other people are part of society too - the elderly or people wearing hearing aids who for some, loud screeches are painful, other people with hearing difficulties who can't have a conversation because they cannot hear above loud background noise - all of those people also need to be able to be out and about too.

This.

CTRL · 10/04/2019 10:48

YANBU and I can’t stnd when people go on about noisy children !?! I mean his a baby - it’s hardly like you can have a conversation with him and explain he needs to be silent for the duration of the time at the cafe !?! I mean babies make noise.

Personally if I didn’t want to hear a noisy baby, I would have asked to be seated in another part of the cafe from the beginning.
I think the other table were rude

Yes I understand sometimes children can be noisy but that’s what they are suppose to do. Even if your the strictest mother - a 9 month old would barely have the understanding that he would need to be silent when dining out with others.

Personally speaking my children have always been pretty quiet when we’re out and about but it saddens me when I see mums feeling like they are bad parents because thier child is exploring thier new environment.

I mean really !?! Hmm

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2019 10:55

Personally if I didn’t want to hear a noisy baby, I would have asked to be seated in another part of the cafe from the beginning.

This. A little bit of common sense and tolerance. Not difficult.

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 11:00

So if people are sitting in a quieter area because they have asked to be seated there and then a mum turns up with 2 children making a noise?

MunaZaldrizoti · 10/04/2019 11:06

It's gross to see people comparing babies to grown autonomous people with a condition like dementia like it's the same thing. Really gross.

HauntedPencil · 10/04/2019 11:07

There are plenty of places I can go if I don't want to sit with young children

If you can't cope with a 9 month old saying ba ba ba then I can't understand how you can cope with life

It's ridiculous

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2019 11:08

and then a mum turns up with 2 children making a noise?

You would just have to deal with it, just like we all deal with all kinds of people in society all the time.

Baby’s in pubs are relatively rare. Go to a pub.

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 11:12

You would just have to deal with it, just like we all deal with all kinds of people in society all the time.

Baby’s in pubs are relatively rare. Go to a pub.

So saying ask to sit in a quieter area if you can't/don't want to be around babies and children turns into tough, deal with it if you are in the quieter area first? So basically no one else has any choice?

And no children in pubs? Really? Have you been in any lately? At night maybe but during the day they are just another play park for kids and their mums.

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2019 11:15

What you seem to want christmas is segregation. That doesn’t tend to work out well, for lots of reasons.

The pubs thing must be regional. It’s very rare to see a baby in a pub where I am.

gairytoes · 10/04/2019 11:15

@MunaZaldrizoti Why is it 'gross'?

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2019 11:16

So basically no one else has any choice?

First come first served, which is how cafes operate anyway. 🤷‍♀️

HauntedPencil · 10/04/2019 11:16

A lot of pubs actively court young families.

Plenty of options if you want to avoid.

HauntedPencil · 10/04/2019 11:17

Cafes are noisy. They are full of people talking.

BigGreyCloud · 10/04/2019 11:17

The thing is it’s up to business owners whether they want their establishments to be child friendly or not. If they don’t then they don’t have to provide colouring pens, children’s menus, high chairs etc. If it is geared up for children you can’t blame parents for using it. People who need quieter areas should blame the lack of pubs/ cafes that provide this rather than the parents who use them for the purpose they are advertised/ intended.

OP you did nothing wrong. It’s hard when you feel criticised but don’t let it stop you taking your lovely children out again. Sod the grumpy people.

Justaboy · 10/04/2019 11:19

Pubs to be child free. There was a time when they were. I wonder why it suddenly became a good idea to allow people to bring their kids out on the lash?

Simple, because they need to get the customers in and they can't survive on flogging beer alone.

The costs of running a boozer are quite horrible:(

Intresting reading.

www.greenekingpubs.co.uk/

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 11:21

First come first served, which is how cafes operate anyway. 🤷‍♀️

It's not though is it because when I asked what if someone was sitting a quiet area, because they asked for that, and then a mum and 2 toddlers came in and started making noise and running around I was told tough, put up with it.

So how is that first come first served?

Plenty of options if you want to avoid.

Please tell me where? I keep asking and keep being told "plenty of options". Where?

user1493413286 · 10/04/2019 11:21

I find this thread really sad as it can be so difficult as a mum to have the confidence to go places alone with your children and it seems that a lot of people aren’t very understanding.
Mums in cafes keep a lot of them going but based on some of the responses in this thread a lot of cafes would go under.

Bingandflop2019 umm well actually I said:
My DD was a very loud chatty baby and I wasn’t going to shush her when I was trying to encourage interaction.
I didn’t actively encourage her to be louder but yes I chatted to her when she chatted.