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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for this ticket

127 replies

SquashedToes · 09/04/2019 13:10

DD (15)'s friend bought her a ticket to a 'meet the celebrity' type event for her birthday (£30) about a month ago, friend did check beforehand it was ok. Last week something came up which means DD can no longer go, event was 2 weeks away at that point. DD told her friend and gave her the ticket back, friend has now asked her to pay for it as she can't find someone else to go. AIBU to not pay friend for ticket or should I just pay?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 09/04/2019 13:29

I think you should pay. This is your daughter's friend. Who thought she was doing something nice for her friend and checked first. And now has to go alone or not go at all and has to pay for the privilege.

edwinbear · 09/04/2019 13:29

Given it was a birthday gift, from your DD's friend to her then no, I don't think you need to refund her.

Nicknacky · 09/04/2019 13:30

The shoplifting has nothing to do with this dilemma though, and as your daughter can’t make it because she/you mixed up the dates then of course you need to pay.

I’m honestly starting to despair with how people treat others and are willing to shaft them for small amounts of money.

SavoyCabbage · 09/04/2019 13:30

Sorry I cross posted there but I still think you should pay.

desparate4sleep · 09/04/2019 13:30

your excuses make no difference your Dd should still pay

Bringbackthestripes · 09/04/2019 13:32

Talk about throwing a gift back in someone’s face.

Friend -I want to give you this lovely birthday present I’m spending quite a bit of money on so want to check you can go before I buy it.
DD- I can go - thanks.......
DD- actually now I can’t go. Shame you have wasted your money.

You DD said she could go, her friend wouldn’t have bought this ticket if she hadn’t said yes.

I would pay or I don’t imagine they would be friends for much longer.

edwinbear · 09/04/2019 13:32

IT WAS A GIFT!! Of course you don't need to refund her. It's a shame the gift will go unused, but what is the friend then going to do with the £30? Buy her something else or just keep it?

onlyk · 09/04/2019 13:32

Pay the £30.

And be relieved that your DD wants to cool a friendship with someone who has potential to drag her into trouble........ v small price to pay.

StarTheGirl · 09/04/2019 13:34

Your update doesn’t change a thing re the ticket.

I 100% think you should pay for the ticket or sell it on the girl’s behalf.

PCohle · 09/04/2019 13:35

It was a birthday gift, but it sounds like the mix up was on your part and I imagine the money means a lot more to a 15yo than it does to you.

Claw01 · 09/04/2019 13:35

It was a gift. You shouldn’t have to reimburse an unwanted/unused gift. the giver wouldn’t usually know, as you wouldn’t return it to them!

Drum2018 · 09/04/2019 13:35

If it definitely was a gift for your dd then why the hell should she pay for it? Giving it back is enough. Your dd could also try to sell it on and keep the money herself as it's her ticket.

daphine2004 · 09/04/2019 13:36

It was a gift and the friend is still going with someone else. They won’t be alone.

I think it’s unfortunate but I wouldn’t pay in these circumstances.

StarTheGirl · 09/04/2019 13:38

Because she’s given her such short notice. She isn’t obliged to pay for it, but it’s crappy not to.

StarTheGirl · 09/04/2019 13:38

Or at least offer.

Damntheman · 09/04/2019 13:39

I'm really confused by the majority of responses here. The ticket was a birthday gift! Do you all reimburse gifters for gifts that you can't actually use? What kind of madness is this?

No, you are absolutely not REQUIRED to pay. Although given the girl is only 15, 30 quid is a lot of money at that age and she was trying to do something lovely I might be inclined to give her the money as a kind gesture. it certainly shouldn't be an expectation that you should pay to reimburse what was a gift freely given.

That said. You should just rearrange things to aid your daughter to go. She needs to honour her social commitments if it's at all possible. We have enough adults thinking it's perfectly ok to drop social obligations for whatever reason without training the next generation to do it too.

ukgift2016 · 09/04/2019 13:40

Your update changes nothing. Pay the poor girl for the ticket.

Also why bring up the shoplifting? I am afraid this is pretty common with young teenagers. It doesn't mean they are all going to turn into hardened criminals.

Jozen · 09/04/2019 13:40

What Nickynacky says. The shoplifting incident is a separate issue and not related to this.
Your DD can disassociate herself from the friend after she's paid up.

StarTheGirl · 09/04/2019 13:42

Yep, a woman I know who was arrested for shoplifting at age 14 is now a doctor!

JacquesHammer · 09/04/2019 13:42

The ticket was a birthday gift! Do you all reimburse gifters for gifts that you can't actually use? What kind of madness is this?

Of course not, but in this case the OP’s DD was asked whether she could go. It only became unwanted when the DD gave backword on going.

I absolutely would reimburse in this situation.

cuppycakey · 09/04/2019 13:43

I would pay.

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 13:44

Just for clarity DDs friend had already arranged to go months ago with another friend DD doesn't know. The two of them are still going, DD was just joining them.

I don't think you should pay. The friend hasn't lost out on anything at all. Assuming your DD isn't expecting a replacement birthday gift of course.

Given the friend is still going with another friend, why does the ticket need paying for?

MyDcAreMarvel · 09/04/2019 13:44

So your event is more important than your dd’s?

Damntheman · 09/04/2019 13:45

What if DD got ill, or broke a leg, or had a family emergency? Should all birthday event tickets be reimbursed in such situations?

JacquesHammer · 09/04/2019 13:45

Given the friend is still going with another friend, why does the ticket need paying for?

I read it as there are three tickets. Two for the friend and the other friend. Then a third, which was given to the OP’s DD which she isn’t using. So the friend is £30 down.