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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour told out to shut up in a unfriendly manner!

374 replies

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 18:44

Hi, so we have new people behind us. Our gardens are quite long but back onto each other. I haven’t seen much of them yet. They don’t seem to be home much and I don’t like talking over the fence.

Today, we were out for a couple hours and came home. I let our dog out as I always do, she’s a Jack Russell, she can be pretty yappy at times (mainly when she sees people rather than dogs) but she’s never let out too early or too late so doesn’t disturb the neighbours and she’s never left outside barking for long. If she barks we call her in. There are dogs in most houses around here. She ran straight up to the back fence which I thought was odd and started barking - new neighbor and his dog doing something at the back of their garden by the looks of i at first glance. I couldn’t see them very well behind the tall fence and behind the trampoline so he probably couldn’t see me by my back door. Anyway, my dog starts to bark (she wouldn’t hurt a fly, just a bit annoying at times but his dog didn’t bark back). I put my shoes back on to call her over but I heard the new neighbour telling my dog to shut the f**k up just as I was about to call her. I called her back and neighbour must of realised I was there and heard him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking to his dog as the dog hadn’t reacted (it’s geeat he has such a well behaved dog).

Now, I’m not easily offended, far from it. I didn’t think much of it at the time as I was busy but now I’ve come to think of it’s rid quite rude.

Yes my dog can bark at times but she’s never left out to bark. She doesn’t go out early, or too late and she doesn’t bark indoors or anything. Just around new people as she’s more nervous of people than dogs. If it was just the dog she would of been fine!

Aibu to think he was being rude? I’m not the type of person to ever bring this up with them but I’m worried what they will think of us. Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun. They will probably hate us 😂

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 08/04/2019 19:32

I think possibly your new neighbour did know you were there. Regardless of if he knew or not, you have been made aware that your dog barking is irritating to him.

IncrediblySadToo · 08/04/2019 19:33

The neighbours have a Jack Russel. The inconsiderate bastards installed a cat flap so it comes and goes as it pleases all day and ALL night. It yaps and yaps and yaps but they don’t call it in. They can be in the garden with the fucking thing yapping...

I don’t mind a DOG having a BARK if someone walks past or they see a bird flying over or whatever, but holy fuck these pint size yappers are a nightmare

I do loudly tell him to ‘Lie down’ or ‘Be quiet’ or whatever and it’s ONLY out of consideration for the other neighbours with young children that I don’t tell him to ‘Shut the fuck up you little twat’.

It pisses me off we can’t set foot in OUR garden without him yapping like a demented thing.

OP I appreciate you are NOT them and it sounds like you are much more considerate 🌷 but you might be able to do a wee bit more so he’s not yapping at all.

HarrysOwl · 08/04/2019 19:34

She doesn’t react to dogs. If it was just the dog in the garden, she wouldn’t of barked

How very dare your neighbour, a human, be in his own garden to get barked at! Clearly his own fault Hmm

Slicedpineapple · 08/04/2019 19:35

There's a unanimous YABU on this thread OP. It doesn't matter what your dog normally does, on this occasion it stood at a fence barking at a neighbour and he told it to shut up in one way or another. I really wouldn't let it get under your skin.

Lalliella · 08/04/2019 19:35

PFD does need to shut the fuck up. Sadly it can’t understand English so is unlikely to be offended by the swearing. So you need to make it shut the fuck up.

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 19:36

I am aware jack Russell’s can be yappy but they are wonderful loyal dogs too. Ours has never hurt a fly, she is friendly, but nervous with new people. She is so affectionate, a proper lap dog and very tolerant of D.C.. she has never been aggressive. The barking is more of a nervous/scared bark or when she’s really excited!

If there are no people around she will go out and play in the garden for ages without a single bark or yap and just chill in the sun. She’s not all that bad 😂

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 08/04/2019 19:36

Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun.

I assume that ‘having fun’ in this instance is child shouting and dog yapping. They don’t run around ‘having fun’ silently do they? Having fun = intrusive noise I suspect. Hmm

spaniorita · 08/04/2019 19:38

It doesn't matter what time of day a dog barks, it is irritating.

Justmuddlingalong · 08/04/2019 19:38

Your neighbour doesn't know all that. Or care.

DIZZYTIGGER87 · 08/04/2019 19:38

As a long time dog owner, I never really thought about dogs that bark (none of ours ever have, more through luck then any specific training, although we do go for bigger breeds so not the happy sort). Then NDN moved in 3 years ago, and my god I have never hated dogs the way I hate them due to their barking.

The NDN is pretty close on the list for the shrill shouting at them to shut up and come inside...and the dogs ignore her so I have to deal with dogs and her...can't wait to move.

Iltavilli · 08/04/2019 19:39

You’ve said about 5 times that your dog wouldn’t hurt a fly. Great! You’ve clearly given some training, so train it to shut the fuck up.

By repeating “she wouldn’t hurt a fly” you are spectacularly missing the point. Your neighbour isn’t scared of your dog he’s hugely pissed off at the noise it is making and your refusal to do anything about it.

Train her to be less nervous and to shut up.

From the owner of a dog that neither barks nor yaps.

Hazlenutpie · 08/04/2019 19:39

I am aware jack Russell’s can be yappy but they are wonderful loyal dogs too

I don't give a flying fuck how cuddly your dog is, I just don't want to hear it barking. I say that as a dog owner.

RickJames · 08/04/2019 19:39

Neighbour has a point. Mind, I say this as a person who owns a dog that would snarl, growl and bark all day if I let her. The odd time she barks consistently for a minute because I'm not able to get to that part of the garden, I don't stress. My neighbours on one side have a little girl that cried a good 10 hours a day aged 0-2 (I offered help btw. I don't know how Mrs neighbour didn't go utterly mad, it was murder) and the 2 little boys on the other side shout outside from 7-7 on average. Add in church bells and people sawing firewood or woodchipping; the neighbourhood can get quite noisy.
In your situation I would have probably said "you fuck off" as a joke and had a chat with him.
There has to be some give and take.

SoupDragon · 08/04/2019 19:39

If there are no people around she will go out and play in the garden for ages without a single bark or yap and just chill in the sun. She’s not all that bad

She is that bad if people can't go in their garden without being yapped at.

HarrysOwl · 08/04/2019 19:40

Ours has never hurt a fly, she is friendly

Amount that matters: 0.

Her barking will be annoying and a disturbance. No matter how cute she is.

MissConductUS · 08/04/2019 19:40

This is one of many reasons we just have cats. I am really please none of our neighbors has dogs, or if they do, they aren't big barkers.

Go and have a talk with him about it.

Runbitchrun · 08/04/2019 19:41

I have also snapped at my neighbour’s yappy dog through the fence. I’m a dog owner, but I can’t bear dogs barking outside (especially little yappy things).

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/04/2019 19:42

I am aware jack Russell’s can be yappy but they are wonderful loyal dogs too.

How does it benefit your neighbour that your dog is loyal to you? Confused why you are listing all their positive qualities as if that has any relevance here? It doesn’t. The only relevant thing is that your dog barked at someone standing minding his own business on his own property.

bebeboeuf · 08/04/2019 19:42

I’m a dog person and have neighbours with all sorts of dogs.
Many are quiet and I wouldn’t know from sound alone they owned one.

We have a lovely next door neighbour that has no idea that each time their dog is let out it barks. They do it at a few set times in the day and it means that I actually have to coincide my child’s sleep routine around it as once one dog barks it sets other quiet neighbourhood ones off.

So annoying

They are moving soon though so just hope new neighbours are a little more thoughtful about the noise

RedPanda2 · 08/04/2019 19:43

Yes YABU. I hope you alerted the village elders that soneone dared to swear in front of a child when they were in their own garden and allegedly couldn't see them anyway...

JemSynergy · 08/04/2019 19:43

I have lived next to someone whose dog barked a lot. It is annoying and and at times I felt like telling it to STFU!

MaybeitsMaybelline · 08/04/2019 19:45

I’ve told one of my neighbours dogs to STFU more than once. The other I told to get the fuck out of my garden when it came tearing through the hedge after one of my cats.

Must be a clever dog because it hasn’t done it again!

MrsBertBibby · 08/04/2019 19:46

Sort your dog out before your neighbour's thoughts turn to poisoning it.

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 19:46

I don’t let her out if the neighbours are outside chilling so I don’t let her be annoying. In fact I get quite embarrassed she barks and call her in straight away! I do call her in! She’s never barking for long at all!

My neighbours cat shits in our garden all the time. So I’m not keen on cats 😂

OP posts:
JK2012 · 08/04/2019 19:48

They’ve lived there for a couple weeks... As far as I know my dog has barked at him once today (my back door is in my kitchen) so as soon as she barks I go out to see what she’s barking at.... she wouldn’t bark at them if they were by their back door but the guy was the back of his fence so she may of been feeling threatened also.

The house had been empty for months.

OP posts:
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