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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour told out to shut up in a unfriendly manner!

374 replies

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 18:44

Hi, so we have new people behind us. Our gardens are quite long but back onto each other. I haven’t seen much of them yet. They don’t seem to be home much and I don’t like talking over the fence.

Today, we were out for a couple hours and came home. I let our dog out as I always do, she’s a Jack Russell, she can be pretty yappy at times (mainly when she sees people rather than dogs) but she’s never let out too early or too late so doesn’t disturb the neighbours and she’s never left outside barking for long. If she barks we call her in. There are dogs in most houses around here. She ran straight up to the back fence which I thought was odd and started barking - new neighbor and his dog doing something at the back of their garden by the looks of i at first glance. I couldn’t see them very well behind the tall fence and behind the trampoline so he probably couldn’t see me by my back door. Anyway, my dog starts to bark (she wouldn’t hurt a fly, just a bit annoying at times but his dog didn’t bark back). I put my shoes back on to call her over but I heard the new neighbour telling my dog to shut the f**k up just as I was about to call her. I called her back and neighbour must of realised I was there and heard him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking to his dog as the dog hadn’t reacted (it’s geeat he has such a well behaved dog).

Now, I’m not easily offended, far from it. I didn’t think much of it at the time as I was busy but now I’ve come to think of it’s rid quite rude.

Yes my dog can bark at times but she’s never left out to bark. She doesn’t go out early, or too late and she doesn’t bark indoors or anything. Just around new people as she’s more nervous of people than dogs. If it was just the dog she would of been fine!

Aibu to think he was being rude? I’m not the type of person to ever bring this up with them but I’m worried what they will think of us. Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun. They will probably hate us 😂

OP posts:
MummytoTw0 · 09/04/2019 20:06

Have you asked your dog if he is offended?

Pliudev · 09/04/2019 20:12

I've got a Jack Russell who almost never barks. I think I've heard him bark about 3 times in the two years I've had him. It's a bit mean to assume they are all the same. But then again people on here are often pretty mean aren't they.

Lilydot · 09/04/2019 20:21

I agree very negative not supportive

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 09/04/2019 20:31

I told a frog in my garden to fuck off once because it jumped out of nowhere and scared me.

Wonder how offended it was and whether there is a post about me on frogsnet or smt🤷‍♀️

Thatnks to certain cats using my garden as a litter box I also started using the c word🤷‍♀️

Catsinthecupboard · 09/04/2019 20:32

One of my dc sustained brain injury in car accident. Since, some/most noise is very painful.

My dc loves dogs, but on a bad day, i can see this happening.

He didn't tell YOU to stfu.

Luckily, most dogs don't know fu. (I think our newfie may, but he's very sensitive.)

Longpinknails · 09/04/2019 20:47

Oh dear...you sound like you really don’t understand what everyone is telling you. It is quite typical of a dog owner who simply has no idea. We left our last property due to a dog owner similar to yourself. A dog who barks for more than 5 seconds is an absolute nightmare believe me. Our last neighbours didn’t understand either.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 09/04/2019 20:50

He’s probably embarrassed
I could not stand s dog barking at all 20 secs would be too long for me specially if I thought it was going to be a daily occurrence

user12345796 · 09/04/2019 20:51

Our neighbours have a yappy puppy that yaps every time I go in my garden. It is a horrible shrill screechy sound. I hate it and it is honestly impacting my quality of life and enjoyment of my house and garden.

BlueSlipperSocks · 09/04/2019 21:25

Secondaccount you'd best

  1. Broach the subject of the neighbours training the puppy not to bark (or you'll have about 15 years of misery ☹)
  2. Make plans to move.
TightPants · 10/04/2019 00:45

Old neighbours of mine had an elderly poodle that yapped constantly whenever they went out.
It nearly drove me insane.
I even thought about poisoned meat through their letter box at one point Blush (and I’m an animal lover) but I used to dread them going out...
Thankfully as it was old it died anyway.

I appreciate your dog is not nearly this bad OP, but as has been said numerous times on this thread, small dogs yapping is like nails down a blackboard to most people!

Lovely13 · 10/04/2019 00:48

I had a neighbour that tied a very vocal jack Russell outside on a long lead. It did manic, yappy barking for at least an hour, often. It also chewed up fence trying to get at my very passive dog. Neighbours were renting. I ended up paying for fence. Landlords were rubbish.

cabcab · 10/04/2019 01:24

OP AIBU

95% Respond YES

OP No I'm not!

You've got to love an AIBU poster at times!

MadMadaMim · 10/04/2019 01:53

YABU

I'd have said the same.

I'd much prefer hearing someone swearing than a barking dog.

You've said (a few times) your dog can be pretty yappy, you've said your dog is home alone - my guess would be, being very yappy. You've implied your dog is left outside barking (but not for long). And you've said there are other barkers around the house.

I feel sorry for the new neighbours. They're probably regretting the move. Sounds like a hideous neighbourhood Grin

Peanutbutterforever · 10/04/2019 02:25

You are in the wrong OP. Not your neighbour.

OmgImBlondie · 10/04/2019 02:45

So basically everyone on here is perfect!! No-one kids or dogs make any noise in there gardens whatever and everyone is perfect 👍🏼

echt · 10/04/2019 02:49

So basically everyone on here is perfect!! No-one kids or dogs make any noise in there gardens whatever and everyone is perfect 👍🏼

No-one has said this.

The OP has asked was she BU. The overwhelming opinion was she, in her particular circumstance, was.

Isadora2007 · 10/04/2019 02:55

I can’t be bothered to rtft but did the OP get asked why she needed her shoes on to shout to her dog? Why not just shout as soon as it barked? Is it a very very long garden?
Anyway- joining the ranks of people saying yabu sorry OP. Our bloody neighbours have trained their dog to bark to get let in- which is a joy after his first-thing-in-the-morning-wee and indeed after his last-thing-at-bloody-night-one too! Hmm

StoppinBy · 10/04/2019 02:57

Barking dogs suck! You may think it's only a few minutes but nuisance barking (where we are) is anything more than 6 minutes out of every hour, so it doesn't take long for people to get irritated by a yapper.

If your dog barks at people maybe section of an area where she can't see them when she goes outside or make sure to always go with her and immediately correct her (or praise her for quiet behaviour).

Ihatehashtags · 10/04/2019 04:29

I HATE tally dogs!!!! I have two dogs. They never bark unless it’s at night and they hear a strange noise. Barkinga t every single thing is not okay and shows a lack of training. Totally your fault as an owner. Sorry I would have done the same if you were my neighbor. Train your dog not to bark!!!!!

joyfullittlehippo · 10/04/2019 04:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teacher22 · 10/04/2019 06:35

This thread has restored my faith in the sanity of British people. I would have put money on the reponse to the question being to back the dog and the dog owner as dog fans usually support their dog against the rest of humanity what ever the creatures do.

However, in this case the nuisance (torture) of untrained barking dogs has been thoroughly aired.

What the OP needs to remember is that we are a polite country so that every time a dog barks we think ‘stfu’ even if we don’t say it.

Wingingit247 · 10/04/2019 09:51

We have a dog and I’d happily tell him to shut the f**k up if he was barking in our garden. It’s horrendously annoying to 99% of the population as I’m sure you’ve gleaned from the responses on this thread. You posted in AIBU so try to take it on board, YABU.

awesomeness · 10/04/2019 10:36

As some one who lived next to a barking dog for 3 years ....... I cried with relief when they moved

Just because you don't see it as annoying doesn't mean others don't.

I don't like a dog barking at me especially when I'm in my own garden and I'd tell it to shut the fuck up

Miller2 · 10/04/2019 11:17

I feel like you have asked for people's opinions but now disagree with everyone's responses. As a dog lover and someone who has trained many dogs in obedience and agility I agree with everyone else. Whenever I put my dogs out (also both terriers) I always stand at the back door and wait. Theu don't bark. One single bark and they'd be in. 20 seconds may not seem like a long time to you, but I can assure you 20 seconds of barking would drive me nuts. If you wait with your dog then when it barks, you need to address the situation immediately, not 20 seconds later. This is basic training. I've owned 2 JRs over the years. They are particularly hard to train not to bark but it is possible you just have to put the time in. I always went with the method of a plastic bottle of marbles. If the doorbell rang and the dog barks I'd give the bottle a hard shake (they don't like the noise). Keep doing it every time until they don't bark anymore. Same when putting them out for the loo, if they bark at neighbours, they shouldn't get past one bark before being corrected. It does work, but you have to do it every single time, immediately (not after 20s), and it takes perseverance.

jillybeanclevertips · 10/04/2019 12:05

Drop a card intheir mail box, explaining just as you did to us, confirming that you try not to let your dogs barking become annoying, and if they find it is, to let you know. Invite them around for coffee or something. Hold out the hand of friendship, and then you know you've done you bit.

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