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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour told out to shut up in a unfriendly manner!

374 replies

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 18:44

Hi, so we have new people behind us. Our gardens are quite long but back onto each other. I haven’t seen much of them yet. They don’t seem to be home much and I don’t like talking over the fence.

Today, we were out for a couple hours and came home. I let our dog out as I always do, she’s a Jack Russell, she can be pretty yappy at times (mainly when she sees people rather than dogs) but she’s never let out too early or too late so doesn’t disturb the neighbours and she’s never left outside barking for long. If she barks we call her in. There are dogs in most houses around here. She ran straight up to the back fence which I thought was odd and started barking - new neighbor and his dog doing something at the back of their garden by the looks of i at first glance. I couldn’t see them very well behind the tall fence and behind the trampoline so he probably couldn’t see me by my back door. Anyway, my dog starts to bark (she wouldn’t hurt a fly, just a bit annoying at times but his dog didn’t bark back). I put my shoes back on to call her over but I heard the new neighbour telling my dog to shut the f**k up just as I was about to call her. I called her back and neighbour must of realised I was there and heard him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking to his dog as the dog hadn’t reacted (it’s geeat he has such a well behaved dog).

Now, I’m not easily offended, far from it. I didn’t think much of it at the time as I was busy but now I’ve come to think of it’s rid quite rude.

Yes my dog can bark at times but she’s never left out to bark. She doesn’t go out early, or too late and she doesn’t bark indoors or anything. Just around new people as she’s more nervous of people than dogs. If it was just the dog she would of been fine!

Aibu to think he was being rude? I’m not the type of person to ever bring this up with them but I’m worried what they will think of us. Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun. They will probably hate us 😂

OP posts:
faeveren · 08/04/2019 20:04

My DH often tells the neighbours dog to shut the fuck up it takes no notice, neither do it’s owners. Grin

I think you are easily offended if it’s bothered you this much.

TreadingThePrimrosePath · 08/04/2019 20:05

Looks like you have an interesting choice in the summer. Yappy dog in the garden, sweary neighbour, children with earplugs, or inside the house.
Or you get more training for your dog to stop it being a PITA and everyone is happy.

Hazlenutpie · 08/04/2019 20:05

Op, nobody seems to like JR's on this thread. I'd personally have told the guy to fuck off himself after saying that to my dog. I live next door to a yappy dog, he's a dog and that's what they do

Thank fuck you're not my neighbour with an attitude like that! And FYI that's not what dogs do, unless their owners let them.

JacquettaW · 08/04/2019 20:06

I would have said exactly the same thing as your neighbour! YABU

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 20:06

I do understand the frustration at dogs barking. Where I lived as a child/teen there was a dog, a jack Russell who lived outside and constantly barked at every noise. Mine isn’t quite as bad. There was also another dog (not a jack russell) who would bark at everything. You’d turn your bathroom light on at night for a wee and it would bark if r was outside (which it was most of the time) It was nuts. Mines quite chilled indoors and fortunately doesn’t seem to react to many sounds 😊 just when she feels nervous of people.

He can be in his garden as much as he wants but the house had been empty for a while, so he is new to her. The old tenants had three jack Russell’s themselves who were crazy so they knew the score 😂

OP posts:
Hazlenutpie · 08/04/2019 20:10

Start saving OP

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47778122

Grin
slashlover · 08/04/2019 20:10

How do you know she never barks when you're out?

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 08/04/2019 20:10

I am aware jack Russell’s can be yappy but they are wonderful loyal dogs too. Ours has never hurt a fly, she is friendly, but nervous with new people. She is so affectionate, a proper lap dog and very tolerant of D.C.. she has never been aggressive. The barking is more of a nervous/scared bark or when she’s really excited!

But nobody gives a shit about that. They just want your dog to shut the fuck up.

Oh, and your responses are as annoying as your annoying dog!

adaline · 08/04/2019 20:11

Nobody is saying your dog is horrible OP.

But barking dogs are really, really irritating. 20 seconds is too long - you need to shout her in as soon as she lets out a bark.

Hazlenutpie · 08/04/2019 20:11

The owners of a Jack Russell that kept neighbours awake with its "continuous" barking, have been fined almost £3,000

Mycatwontstopstaring · 08/04/2019 20:12

He was being rude, but to a dog. The dog was also being rude and the dog started it 😉

He wasn’t saying it to you. So try to forget it.

(Diff point but I don’t know what ‘too early’ or ‘too late’ mean to you, anything after 7pm would be a disaster for us with son being such a light sleeper, and husband often works until early hrs then needs to sleep til 10am - so worth bearing in mind that he may not be on your timetable.)

userxx · 08/04/2019 20:12

@Hazlenutpie It's not ideal having a dog bark, but I think we're talking a few minutes here, not hours on end. And FYI dogs are dogs they bark. My neighbours are pretty chilled out so yeah, you wouldn't fit in round here with that attitude.

leafy22 · 08/04/2019 20:13

I despise barking dogs and tell them to shut up all the time 😳😳

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/04/2019 20:14

The OPs responses to this thread are something else! Can someone really be this obtuse as to not actually get the problem. Who cares how many dogs barked when you were a child??

Brilliantidiot · 08/04/2019 20:14

@abbey44

I used a combination of things, and I think with the JR I was lucky, her mum died when she was tiny and I got her far earlier than normal, and bottle fed and cared for her as her mum would have until she got older, as I rescued my older dog, the JR was in her own for this time and I think she didn't bark because she wasn't exposed to her mum and others doing it as a puppy.
When I rescued the older dog, she barked a lot, distraction works, as does re-enforcement. I had her on a lead in the garden and every time she barked I'd give the lead a tug and say 'no' and then praise when she stopped, then praise when something that triggered her didn't etc, it took a while but I couldn't have coped with her the way she was when I got her, never mind the neighbours!

SomeLikeItTepid · 08/04/2019 20:16

I guarantee that he is not the only neighbour who has told your dog to "shut the fuck up". I am a dog owner myself, and dogs barking in gardens is one of my biggest bugbears. You are responsible for training your dog to behave appropriately. It's going to be hard work, but it is achievable. Good luck 👍

TheDarkPassenger · 08/04/2019 20:17

I wouldn’t be offended op but going against the grain in that I’d find someone who muttered that so angrily at a bloody dog a right weirdo.

I also don’t really find dog barking annoying, though I appreciate it is to some people. You have a dog and dogs communicate by barking, I hate that people train them to take their voice away Sad

Grumpelstilskin · 08/04/2019 20:18

Jack Russells can be the most annoying feckers and bark a lot. Cannot blame your neighbour. He was in his own garden, minding his own business.

Raspberry88 · 08/04/2019 20:18

If there are no people around she will go out and play in the garden for ages without a single bark or yap and just chill in the sun

Then you should be living somewhere with no people around at all. Otherwise you're just being unfair.

I don’t let her out if the neighbours are outside chilling so I don’t let her be annoying.

It just gets worse and worse. You would be my nightmare neighbour. Can't think of anything worse than being observed every time I go in and out of my garden. I imagine they just want to be able to come and go without being watched or barked at.

Ginger1982 · 08/04/2019 20:18

I get where you're coming from. We had a JRT who was incredibly reactive in our garden. Our neighbours (on any side) simply had to step outside and he would start and he wouldn't stop until they had gone inside. It was hell and we tried everything. It got to the point where any time he was outside I felt very stressed in case somebody came outside! It must have been incredibly irritating for our neighbours.

Unless you can work on her recall and train her to stop barking then I would look at putting up things that screen her view of the other gardens. Your neighbour could have chosen his words better but it must be hellish just being continually barked at. 20 seconds can feel like a lifetime!

Good luck!

GreatRaven · 08/04/2019 20:19

I'd tell a jrt to shut the fuck up as well if it was barking at me over a hedge.

Don't worry though, I don't the dog was offended.

Hazlenutpie · 08/04/2019 20:19

@userxx

You said: It's not ideal having a dog bark, but I think we're talking a few minutes here, not hours on end. And FYI dogs are dogs they bark. My neighbours are pretty chilled out so yeah, you wouldn't fit in round here with that attitude

I have a dog who isn't allowed outside to bark for even a few minutes. This is because I understand how irritating it is for other people. FYI dogs can bark but that doesn't mean they have to.

SandAndSea · 08/04/2019 20:20

OP, here's another tip: if you play with a dog who is barking, you are effectively treating it for barking. You need to make sure that you only treat wanted behaviour.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/04/2019 20:21

OP you can’t let her out by herself until you have reliably trained her not to bark. 20 seconds before bringing her in is far too long for training purposes. You have to be right beside her so as soon as she barks one yap you take her straight inside. The consequences have to be immediate, not 20 seconds later.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 08/04/2019 20:21

MIL has a JR and it's an arsehole. It barks at everything in the whole wide world and I've told it to shut the fuck up many a time. The dog just ignores me and continues barking.

We have a couple of dogs and they're not especially barky creatures, but if they were I think I'd have them freeze dried because constant yapping makes me a little bit stabby.