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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour told out to shut up in a unfriendly manner!

374 replies

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 18:44

Hi, so we have new people behind us. Our gardens are quite long but back onto each other. I haven’t seen much of them yet. They don’t seem to be home much and I don’t like talking over the fence.

Today, we were out for a couple hours and came home. I let our dog out as I always do, she’s a Jack Russell, she can be pretty yappy at times (mainly when she sees people rather than dogs) but she’s never let out too early or too late so doesn’t disturb the neighbours and she’s never left outside barking for long. If she barks we call her in. There are dogs in most houses around here. She ran straight up to the back fence which I thought was odd and started barking - new neighbor and his dog doing something at the back of their garden by the looks of i at first glance. I couldn’t see them very well behind the tall fence and behind the trampoline so he probably couldn’t see me by my back door. Anyway, my dog starts to bark (she wouldn’t hurt a fly, just a bit annoying at times but his dog didn’t bark back). I put my shoes back on to call her over but I heard the new neighbour telling my dog to shut the f**k up just as I was about to call her. I called her back and neighbour must of realised I was there and heard him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking to his dog as the dog hadn’t reacted (it’s geeat he has such a well behaved dog).

Now, I’m not easily offended, far from it. I didn’t think much of it at the time as I was busy but now I’ve come to think of it’s rid quite rude.

Yes my dog can bark at times but she’s never left out to bark. She doesn’t go out early, or too late and she doesn’t bark indoors or anything. Just around new people as she’s more nervous of people than dogs. If it was just the dog she would of been fine!

Aibu to think he was being rude? I’m not the type of person to ever bring this up with them but I’m worried what they will think of us. Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun. They will probably hate us 😂

OP posts:
BlueSlipperSocks · 09/04/2019 18:20

Did you neighbour tell your dog to "Shut the fuck up"...and expect him to shut up OP?

I hate dogs who yap all day. They are a bloody nuisance and get on my last nerve. 20 seconds is nothing, as long as it was 20 seconds once.

FaFoutis · 09/04/2019 18:21

Your dog is barking at a man in for being in his own garden. That is shit. I bet the new neighbours are regretting the move.

dragonara53 · 09/04/2019 18:32

There are a few dogs that live near us and when one barks it sets the lot off. Bloody annoying it is too. I or one of the other neighbours will usually tell them to shut the fuck up.

motherheroic · 09/04/2019 18:33

I side with the neighbour. I say this as a owner of a dog who would not shut the fuck up whenever he was let out into the garden. My neighbours must have been so relieved when I moved out into my own place.

Grace1972 · 09/04/2019 18:35

OP I thought you were being quite reasonable at first but your subsequent responses (including the inappropriate hilarity emoticons) are typical of someone who refuses to empathise with why the neighbour might have taken offence to the barking, despite it being hammered home by many, many contributors to the forum.

I have a dog and she is very well trained, happy and calm, and never barks in the garden. It took commitment and hard work but it's best for everybody...including her...to not be reactive. She was a stressed rescue when I got her. It is absolutely possible to train dogs humanely (without shock collars) using positive reinforcement and commitment. Then again, I genuinely care about not being a nuisance neighbour who inflicts my lifestyle choices on other people's eardrums.

I have had to put up with neighbours yappy little dogs over the years and it can be the most grating and maddening noise. This is not a choice for those people that cannot bear it; it triggers the fight or flight response in many people, particularly those with PTSD and/or adverse childhood experiences which leads to an enlarged amygdala (the brain's alarm system). So whilst you expect us all to feel bonded with your gorgeous little hairball; there appears to be no consideration for the human being who was clearly startled and understandably annoyed at the alleged 20 seconds of barking. Give him a break.

Habibi27 · 09/04/2019 18:40

Your trampoline or neighbour’s?

manicmij · 09/04/2019 18:48

Just wait until you are reported for having a dog that barks. Barking is a nuisance no matter what time of day or night. As a dog owner can't abide those owners who think their dog barks just a bit. Its a nuisance. Get it trained.

BrokenWing · 09/04/2019 18:51

You know you have a dog that barks, you know having a dog barking in a built up area is unsociable and you now know it annoys your neighbours. Just do something about it.

Lilydot · 09/04/2019 19:03

Would rather have a barking dog next door than a nasty neighbour. My neighbours make so much noise in the garden with no consideration that our dogs bark at them. Tell the neighbour to shut the fuck up!

nuxe1984 · 09/04/2019 19:06

He was being a bit rude but likewise you should have trained your dog better so it doesn't bark at the neighbours! I have a neighbour at the bottom of my garden whose dog barks and it's bloody annoying!

LisaD76 · 09/04/2019 19:12

Sorry I have a jr/Dalmatian cross and she pisses me off no end.... tbf she is not a bark all the time dog but when she hears barking, senses a dog across the road, senses the foxes on the tracks behind our house, sees cats or large birds in our garden she goes off and it irritates the f* out of me

TopBitchoftheWitches · 09/04/2019 19:13

If you are the owner of the little dog that constantly fucking yaps at the end of my back garden, yes I have told your dog to shut the fuck up, numerous times. Sick of hearing it all the time.

Dottierichardson · 09/04/2019 19:16

Everyone does something that annoys someone else. I hate hearing DIY, music, fireworks, dealing with smoke from barbecues/chimeneas, the neighbour who fires up their car at five to go to work; kids that scream for hours on end and so on...But it would be petty to make a fuss about things that happen now and then. A certain amount of tolerance is needed when people live in close proximity.

OP your dog does not bark enough to be considered a noise nuisance or at anti-social times, and hearing a dog bark for 20 seconds on rare occasions is not going to be the end of the world for anyone unless they think they own the space around them which they don't. I think a number of posters are just using your post as an excuse to vent their anti-dog vitriol or to take out their frustrations about more blatantly annoying dog activity on you.

FaFoutis · 09/04/2019 19:17

Do you really think that the dog barks for 20 seconds?

TopBitchoftheWitches · 09/04/2019 19:18

Seeing how my 11 yr old dog was put to sleep last week, your comment is worthless.

A yapping dog all the time is annoying.

Onceuponacheesecake · 09/04/2019 19:21

I'd far rather listen to a German shepherd bark than a yappy Jack RussellAngry it's infuriating.

Dottierichardson · 09/04/2019 19:22

As is your misogynistic username. But clearly you think 'your shit don't stink', how wonderful that you never do anything that any of your neighbours could possibly find annoying but in order to be neighbourly don't pull you up on. You must be an absolute paragon or failing that a total hypocrite.

FaFoutis · 09/04/2019 19:26

Calm down Dottie.

StrangeLookingParasite · 09/04/2019 19:28

I have a jr/Dalmatian cross

How did that happen?

LouH1981 · 09/04/2019 19:29

This is difficult. I’m going to honest. I own a dog (Labrador) but dogs barking does drive me insane. I do the same as you, as soon as mine barks I let him straight back in.
But it can really grind especially if it’s a small dog (the pitch?) and if it’s not your own.
I would never tell one to shut up though (because it’s natural and it’s what they do - he was saying hello or protecting his property) and I wouldn’t swear and I would be cross if someone swore at my dog.
Sounds like you are doing all you can so don’t see how it can change really.

lisamac28 · 09/04/2019 19:36

I am aware jack Russell’s can be yappy but they are wonderful loyal dogs too. Ours has never hurt a fly, she is friendly, but nervous with new people

That information makes not one jot of difference to your dogs barking being annoying. I choose not to have a dog because I can't stand the noise of dogs barking but yet I'm surrounded by neighbours with 4 dogs barking, all setting each other off...I don't give a shit how 'wonderful' they are to their owners.

FaFoutis · 09/04/2019 19:39

*I have a jr/Dalmatian cross

How did that happen?*

The jr stood on a box?

shutupyoueejit · 09/04/2019 19:43

I have a Yorkshire terrier - apparently they are yappy- but he's been trained so rarely ever makes a noise.
I have also told him to shut the fuck up myself - he just looks at me funny.
Train your dog.

Sazquatch · 09/04/2019 19:53

My neighbours have a jack russell. I bloody hate that dog. It barks constantly whenever we go in to our own garden, meaning we get no peace. It even barks if our windows are open and it can hear us inside our own house. I’d love it to shut the fuck up. It is definitely not fun.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 09/04/2019 20:00

Was your dog offended, OP?