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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Believe what a medium has said?

687 replies

wellhelloyou · 07/04/2019 06:53

Has anyone had a reading from a psychic medium (or like) and had something exactly came true? Not something vague but something specific almost word for word?

OP posts:
Lifecraft · 07/04/2019 14:57

And get no one can explain how a total stranger can know private details about your life in the way that many people here have detailed.

It's been explained several times in this thread. It's just that believers don't want to hear it. Derren Brown explains it perfectly. Take some time out to do some research and you can easily find out how a perfect stranger can make you believe they know private details about you.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/04/2019 14:57

Exactly, RosaWaiting; they want to hear something significant - either because they're desperate or just to justify the money they've wasted - so they "fill in the gaps" or even downright lie, as did my friend and maybe yours too

And don't you just love the posts about "not being interested in proving myself / being paid" to pre-empt the inevitable, awkward questions about the Randi Foundation's prize?

If someone's that principled, why not just take it anyway and think of the good it could do if given to a charity (yes, even a spiritualists' one if they must)

Lifecraft · 07/04/2019 14:58

It's very patronising to tell people they have remembered a personal experience wrongly

Just because it's patronising doesn't mean it's wrong.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/04/2019 14:59

The Randi Prize is no more. It was withdrawn a number of years ago.

RosaWaiting · 07/04/2019 15:06

puzzled

yes, but keep in mind I'm one of the posters who did meet someone accurate...so I'm not writing off all of them! And I still would take a recommendation but only for one requiring no prior info and also one prepared to give "bad" news.

Boysey45 · 07/04/2019 15:17

Look at all the people who believe in God, now that really is a load of utter twaddle. Yet religion and churches are not all tarred as being scammers and con artists. They are worse in my opinion than psychics.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/04/2019 15:19

The Randi Prize is no more. It was withdrawn a number of years ago

So I understand, and it's true the tense should have been why didn't they take the test/donate the prize to charity. Perhaps, though, after nearly a thousand failures, the Foundation felt there was little point in indulging charlatans any further?

keep in mind I'm one of the posters who did meet someone accurate

Actually I'd suggest that you merely believed you did, and the reasons folk get hoodwinked like this have been amply covered by PPs. I'm the last to deny someone a sincerely held belief, but with respect, that doesn't make it true

Yousicktwistedfruit · 07/04/2019 15:23

I went to see one years ago and I got told nothing but a load of bullshit that never came true they aren’t physic or any sort of medium they are just liers who prey on vulnerable people and take their money I would never go and see another one.

RosaWaiting · 07/04/2019 15:40

puzzled

I'd be really interested to hear theories on my particular experience. Everyone I've met IRL has just said "cold reading" and then when I explain the specifics, they say "oh, there will have been something else".

what is the something else, I wonder? And someone upthread talked about "secretly recording" which also isn't the case of anyone I've come across.

RosaWaiting · 07/04/2019 15:42

Boysey

yes. It's been interesting to see the Fleabag thread because people's beliefs about religion are key to the show and the characters at the moment.

LEELULUMPKIN · 07/04/2019 15:46

The only one I would believe would be the one who gave me the winning numbers to the euromillions jackpot prior to it being drawn.

After I had my £100 odd million in the bank then I would believe.

It's bullshit with a capital B.

LordWheresMyShoes · 07/04/2019 16:00

I also think the vast majority wouldn't give what they consider to be "bad" news, so they probably can't help with anything I want to know now.

You can ask a reader's policy on that. My agreement with my tarot cards is that I don't get to see anything that both I and the person I'm reading for, can't handle. I still get bad news - that's why I wanted to use tarot rather than the positive only decks I had up until that point - but really violent horrific stuff - I don't want to know. Others will be different to me in either direction.

Doggydoggydoggy · 07/04/2019 16:01

I think most mediums are charlatans and despicable people who prey on the vulnerable.

However.

My friend saw one who claimed to know about her childhood sexual abuse (that she had never spoken about to anyone), I have seen one who accurately predicted a few things and my mum gets premonitions; including the death of my lovely dad.
Literally predicted everything from start to finish and it happened exactly how she had seen it.

So I whilst I think most are fakes, I do feel that some people have a genuine gift

RosaWaiting · 07/04/2019 16:05

Lord "You can ask a reader's policy on that"

oh sure, I could do that. But I don't want to pay by credit card, letting them know my name etc. As I say, it was 20+ years ago that I went, it wasn't booked, I just walked in.

of course I get that people have to protect themselves and now there's no need for a stranger to walk in etc, but it does mean that the experience I had unlikely to be repeated.

I have tried one walk-in since, but I said to her "you can't ask any questions" and her face fell Grin

LordWheresMyShoes · 07/04/2019 16:19

Sure. I guess I was thinking mind body spirit fair type readings, where you they'll ask your first name and you pay cash, and if they're really busy you leave a name on their booking list.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/04/2019 16:26

If someone'sthatprincipled, why not just take it anyway and think of the good it could do if given to a charity (yes, even a spiritualists' one if they must)
Even when it existed, the Randi Challenge was never as simple as just take it anyway and came on for a fair amount of criticism regarding official terms and conditions, who was accepted/prevented from participating, and sudden changes to experiments.

Someone claiming to be a psychic or medium couldn't just rock up and say "test me".

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/04/2019 16:26

"secretly recording" ... isn't the case of anyone I've come across

But with the best will in the world, how would you know - isn't the clue in the word "secret"?

I freely admit I don't know what the "something else" is either - if I did, and if I was unprincipled enough, I'd probably be making the kind of packet these frauds do too. But while, as I've said, I quite accept there are things we just don't understand, I doubt any "powers" that may or may not be out there will perform to order just because someone's pulled in a few punters at £££ a pop

Sparklesocks · 07/04/2019 16:30

I feel very uncomfortable about mediums, I don’t believe true ones exist - happy to be proven wrong but as far as I know there has never been a ‘verified’ one who has been proven with a scientific study etc.

On the one hand they might bring comfort to those struggling with grief and maybe some closure to help them cope, and who am I to begrudge people that? If it helps them, I want them to be helped.

But on the other hand, I believe mediums are taking advantage of those grieving and feeling vulnerable. Making money off someone’s grief is very callous, even if that person does feel better as a result. I’ve known people who have forked over thousands of their savings to find comfort in readings and that’s very distressing. And it’s all very vague help isn’t it, the messages from beyond are never helpful like ‘the password to my online pension is Puppy123’, or ‘I have a savings account with hsbc with money to help pay for the funeral you might not know about’. I’m sure a medium would tell me that’s not how spirits communicate, but I feel like that’s what they’d most want to pass on!!

I feel confident that if there is an ‘other side’ my lost loved ones wouldn’t want me to pay to connect to it.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 07/04/2019 16:32

just evidence that there is life after death

I think you need to reacquaint yourself with the definition of evidence

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/04/2019 16:34

Someone claiming to be a psychic or medium couldn't just rock up and say "test me"

Well no, but then you can't just turn up (for example) at a driving test centre and say it either. There have to be some sort of checks and controls on any testing if it's to be worthwhile, and as for the claims of "it wasn't fair" ... IME the accounts of those who've just failed any test aren't always, shall we say, neutral

BejamNostalgia · 07/04/2019 16:35

I believe it’s possible for a responsible medium to have a positive placebo effect. I know some people who have got out of unhappy relationships or found the courage to change jobs after seeing mediums, so although I don’t really believe the communicate with the afterlife, I’m not sure I believe they’re always harmful.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/04/2019 16:42

Of course there needs to be checks and controls, but some of the criticism is that the Randi Foundation used these controls to ensure that valid applications considered credible did not make it to the test. And contributed to it's being eventually withdrawn.

TooManyPaws · 07/04/2019 16:46

There has always been an element of knowing stuff you shouldn't in my family (my dad always knowing when something was wrong with me even though miles apart) but I went to see a reader after my parents both died. I don't remember much though it was taped for me but I do remember that she stopped, looked very puzzled, and said "it's very odd but I've got an older man who keeps going on about door handles. Just put the bloody things on! he says".

I later told the workman who had delayed fitting new handles to my built in wardrobes (really annoying) in favour of other bigger jobs in the house. He said that he had never been nagged by a ghost before and fitted them immediately!

Circe32 · 07/04/2019 16:53

I had a reading a couple of years ago and she told me that I kept my Dad's watch in a bedside drawer, that it wasn't working because the battery needed replacing and that I should get it fixed. True.
And told me that my Granny had a wicked sense of humour (also true) and that one of my 3 stepchildren would be gay (tbc).

Also said that I was clairsentient, ie picks up on other's emotions or energy - I had never heard of that, but I have always been very sensitive to atmospheres, particularly in the workplace and end the day emotionally exhausted if I've been in a negative atmosphere. So not quite a committed sceptic after that!

Iamtheworst · 07/04/2019 17:04

My great granny was as accurate any pee on a stick pregnancy test. She was in a large family before the Nhs and the community relied on various “witchy” woman. My granny, her DIL, hated visiting because she predicted pregnancy’s before granny had told anyone or was sure herself. She was also a gobby so and so. She would often pull young girls aside and have a word.
She wasn’t a witch though, just experienced and nosy. I always assume there’s lots of people like her where the experience is in different areas. She lived to a ripe old age and my mum remembers people looking to her at weddings so see if it was love or necessity.