AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

Ah I see. I read it as you not wanting to leave DH in sole charge or DS to show him how much work it is.

Wanting to box tick a whole load of destinations for the social media kudos or because of being influenced by some twats on Instagram (whose carefully posed and edited selfies hardly reflect reality anyway) is not what I would define as "being adventurous" either.

I would spend most of that holiday worrying about making the next leg of transport on time. I don't even have kids and I think it looks the exact opposite of a relaxing break.

Also, what's with him planning an itinerary then insisting YOU book the flights now he's done the fun bit? Has he confused you with his PA?

Your dh is a selfish prick and not putting your ds first at all. He’s not an accessory!!!

And emotional blackmail to get you to agree? He’s a cock nostril. “Perhaps we shouldn’t be together if you’re not up for it?” I’d agree and bloody walk off on my own holiday with lovely ds.

As someone who took a five year old and 20month old twins to Canada and then a US trip with NY, Chicago, tour through Wisconsin (both trips visiting family), I think your dh's plan sounds exhausted and not enjoyable at all, with or without a dc.

So he wants a holiday where he can show off about all the places he's been and doesn't really give a shit about how suitable it is for your child?

Please put your foot down about this, it's a terrible holiday to plan with a toddler. For me the absolute deal breaker would be flying back into an airport a 4 hour train ride away... WTF is he thinking?

Ridiculous! Your DS won't even remember any of it. Just tell your DH no!

Not a chance. We went to Spain for a week last year with my daughter who was around 20 months then. We did nothing all week except relax (whatever that is) but the early flight totally destroyed my DD’s mood for a good 4 days - it’s like she was jet lagged.

Why the itinerary from hell? Is he trying to impress someone?

@ tootlepootleschmootle

sorry, I see it’s about your way back home.

Sounds like he's more interested in getting cute photos of DS in well known locations than anyone actually enjoying their holiday!

Sounds like a holiday you might do as students or without children.

I dont have children and I think the time period on each place is far too short.

Half a day in one place, 2 in another? By the time you've perked up after travelling you'll only get a very short amount of time to explore and then you're off again! Sure, kids are portable and yeah it's great to take them to so many places but not for such a short amount of time in each!

Ah, read the post about children travelling a lot. And Instagram.

He’s being ridiculous. I know one of those women, every other weekend they are on some cheap trip. Her children are the most unsettled kids ever! They’ve never had a proper holiday, they are always jet lagged and don’t sleep well when home either. The children don’t know how to play with others (no time for playdates) and they cry when they see a plane of a picture of one.

Mother is disliked by everyone! Don’t be that family!

We travel a lot with our DS who is 5, he’s been to 25+ countries.
I agree with the poster who said aroun 18 - 24 months was the worst.
DH and I had a general rule, if UK or short haul the minimum 3 nights in one place , if long haul minimum 5 in one place. Its served us well.
Also if ever crazy flight times on way out always an airport hotel the night before, if crazy on way home all ways a taxi home from airport. It’s served us pretty well. Your DH is being unreasonable.

That's a ridiculous travel plan, with or without a baby.
Most of the time you'll be travelling from one place to another and won't get enough time in any one place to explore or enjoy it. You'll be so tired and it'll cost a fortune with all those flights.
I love travelling and regularly took my daughter away when she was young, but this would be sheer madness.
God forbid if any of you are ill on the trip with the tight schedule

Does not sound like a holiday. More an endurance trip

Your DH really isn’t thinking about what is best for DS. His priorities should be his son and wife rather than instagram photos. Has he always been this selfish? Has he ever looked after DS completely on his own for a day?

The threat of divorce is just plain nasty and maybe you would be better splitting up while your DS is very young.

For the two of you it would be a great holiday. With your toddler as well it will be a nightmare. Your little one will be cranky. Too much travelling and change for a toddler to cope with.

Have you said a firm NO to this?

Your poor DC...

He sounds like a total twat. Sorry.

It’s all about the numbers with people like that. Not the beauty or the fun. They put “30 countries and counting” in their Instagram bio to show off. It’s cringey! Tell your husband not to compete, he wants to turn your kids into little Instagram braggers!

Has your DH ever travelled before? I don't mean that as a condescending question, it's genuine.

To me it sounds like the over-enthusiastic plan of a person who has never faced the sheer tedium of airports, train stations, acid reflux from no sleep and fatty fast food when you're heading to your next stop.

That itinerary doesn't even make sense! Part south west Europe/med, followed by skipping to central Europe. It's two itineraries mashed into one holiday... Pre kids, DH and I looked at doing trying to get two trips squeezed into 10days and then realised we would do neither of them justice (and it would cost more in additional flights) so we did one and had a great time!

I also like the sound of your type of holiday for a toddler - our best toddler holiday was a week in a caravan park doing a mix of beach/pool/swings/off site attraction each day. Toddler had a great time and it wasn't stressful for us!

Your child isn't going to remember this holiday - I went on some far flung holidays under the age of 5 and I don't remember a thing! I have photos but not memories. The first holiday I remember properly was when I was 8!

That sounds ridiculous. What's the point in visiting these places if you're going to see more of the airport/,trainstation etc than the actual country?
What does your dh find enjoyable about an overtired toddler?