AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

That's not a holiday it's bloody hard work.
He must be mad attempting that with a 20 month old.
You could always leave the childcare on flights to him and sit elsewhere That would be entertaining.

He is insane

Hahaha no! My husband and I don’t have any children and we wouldn’t do this!

I have done extended trips through Europe and Asia and lots of train journeys etc. Our rule is for every three active days you need a ‘rest’ day where you plan nothing, and you need at least one full day between travels from one city to the next. This maximises enjoyment, reduces tiredness, and means you don’t feel shuttled about.

Whilst I’ll happily admit I see UK breaks as weekends away rather than holidays, this is insane and there is a compromise to be reached.

The trouble is mainly all this flying and it sounds like separate holidays- why not go for one region? So you either do Portugal and Spain, or you do Austria, Slovenia, Slovakia. Not all of them!

That sounds like a really shit holiday

Please show him this thread OP.

Sit him down and ask him what your son would get out of a trip like that? He'd be bored visiting cities and he wouldn't remember any of it anyway. It'd be the most stressful holiday ever. You'll spend at least half of your time travelling and arguing. And if there any problems like delays etc it will only add to the stress.

Say you'll do something like that when your child is a lot older. A week in Devon or Cornwall or even a week in an all inclusive in Spain or something would be much more relaxing and you'd make some great memories. It would also be a holiday you could ALL enjoy.

And the Instagram braggers continue to post pictures when they are back home so it looks like they went for longer when really they were up at 2.00am on Saturday to get to the airport and back at midnight on Sunday with a crying child delivered to nursery at 8.00 for other people to deal with.

Can you tell they annoy me? 😁

He's desperate to travel and doesn't seem to see that you can't do the same trips with a toddler that you could without.

Just stand your ground. Say no. But say you can do it once DS is (a lot) older.

Bonkers itinerary. I’ve been to all those places with young children and they are all great but I’d never do them all in one mad rush like that!

Slovenia for example we drove around for two whole weeks and still felt we could have had more time! DS was 18 months at the time.

Also, your DS won’t remember any of it. It’s a holiday for you and DH at this age. If you don’t feel comfortable with it then DH is being selfish.

Pick ONE in my opinion.

Sorry but if this was me I would tell DH you won't be going but that you hope DS and he have a wonderful holiday together.

That is just ridiculous and wouldn't be fun even without a toddler. Has he maybe not done much travelling before himself? What's the point if you spend more time in an airport than in a country!

I apcame onto this post expecting to judge you for not being adventurous, but absolutely YANBU!

We have travelled to lots of different countries with our DCs when they were lots of different ages, but there’s no way we’d do that trip. It’s not enough time to see any of the places properly, and it’s trying to cram in too many places that are too far apart.

Just do Slovenia! It’s an absolutely beautiful country with lots to see, and tons of variety.

Also,my children travel a lot by most standards. My youngest is one in summer and has been to several U.K towns, France , Italy and Australia. My older son is 3 and has done several trips to France, been to Spain, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Italy several times, Australia 3 times, the us, Ireland a few times etc. As I said above, that trip plan is bonkers.

“Yes I agree DH we shouldn’t be together as you’re a TWAT” that should sort it.

If he is this selfish, inconsiderate and ignorant then i’m afraid you’re future doesn’t look good, sorry!

Wow. That is not the best planned itinerary. I don't understand why he wants to go from Portugal to Austria? Has he been to France, Italy and Germany before? It makes no sense to skip such large regions. In any case, if he likes travelling, it's worth spending more time in Portugal, and heading further down the coast to the algarve. I mean, it makes more sense to hop across to Morroco or southern Spain or Gibraltar than to fly across Europe half way through a 10 day holiday. You want to minimise the actual travel while seeing as much as possible, surely! That's the point! And actually seeing a place i.e. longer than half a day!

I've done some busy itineraries before, but always tried to see all the places of interest close to where I was flying - not wasting time flying or driving over vast areas.

My rule is always to miss out a couple of the things that I think I have time for (I don't ! usually) just to factor in some breaks. And unscheduled time in the evenings (unless there's a specific tour, show or gig). Arrival day and last day, nothing planned (if you have energy, go out - but otherwise, rest). Every 3 days a quiet day with hardly any walking - non strenuous outings (if you feel like it).

But you are not really visiting anywhere are you? just passing through. The worst kind of tourism really and much better IMO to go to one place and get into it properly. Slow down! it will all still be there in ten or even twenty years time.

And all the packing and unpacking, regardless of whether you have a child with you - just no,

Get him to think about that "Porto" day
You'll get up in your Spanish hotel and shower/dress/breakfast/pack cases/check out/get taxi/travel to airport (2-3 hours?)
Check in min 90 mins before flight, then flight itself (1-2 hours depending where in Spain) then wait for luggage , queue for taxi/bus into city, travel, find somewhere to leave luggage & check it in (1-2 hours?)
Later get luggage back, go to station, 2 hour train journey then taxi/walk/bus to hotel, check in, unpack (3-4 hours)
Thats about 10 hours accounted for without allowing for lunch/dinner/nap/delayed flight or train/traffic jam/Brexit-related delay at passport control.
How much of Porto does he think he's going to see?

Has he travelled like that before?

DH and I have. We covered most of the US in trips like that, seven states in a fortnight type holidays. We came home from the west coast the ‘wrong’ way and hit a fair few countries on the way just because.

It’s very, very tiring. We managed as two adults. We are aware we missed lots out because of time limits and even more because of jet lag.

Does he realise you will realistically spend about 4-5 hours trapped in airports for every flight you plan in? On top of flight time. And that’s assuming you don’t have a single delay, lost luggage, or any other issue.

You need to plan at least three full days per place, and no more than two short stays like that separated out with longer chunks in other places.

The Instagram families, that travel is their job. Making it look glamorous and easy and fun is the job. Behind the scenes it’s bloody hard work and tantrums and snatched sleep and never really seeing anything. A bit like work travel seems like a perk until you realise it’s just a blur of airports and identical cheap hotels with jet lag, no sleep and indigestion from too many fast food type meals.

We took DSs on their first foreign holiday at 21 months and just under 3. We did a week early season in Menorca - perfectly fine and manageable. A year later we took them to visit family in the US, international flight plus a short internal flight with a few days in Boston by bus during the first week (approx 2 hours away) and about 4 days driving trip up through new england the following week (about 5 hours on the longest drive). It actually sounds like quite a lot now when I think about it but it was fine at the time and DSs definitely enjoyed themselves. However, my two don't remember anything about it apart from a little bit of the aquarium in Boston (they saw Nemo!) and DS2 actually remembers the giant cookies that room service brought to our room together with some milk at bedtime. So in essence, having well traveled small children doesn't really gain them much. The purpose of the trip was to spend time with family though and the trips we did totally considered their needs as well as our desire to see some places. Plenty of child focused activities trips and maintained their bedtime routine as much as possible. I think your DHs plans are too much tbh and wont achieve what he thinks they will. I'd save a trip like that until your DS is a few years older when he will actually get some benefit and memories from it.

Is he in some kind of hurry to get this all in pre-Brexit?

That sounds a complete PITA even without a young baby. YANBU and your husband is an arsehole.

I would say yes as long as he agrees to look after the child whilst travelling

Spain: fine. Getting up at 2am to leave is fine (honestly, I would always rather travel when kids are asleep). Just put him in the car still in his pyjamas.

Portugal: I mean, maybe?

Austria and Slovenia: Nope. With a big fat side of NOPE

Silly sod.

wow your gonna need a holiday to recover, tell hubby to enjoy and you and toddler go for a quiet relaxing break somewhere else ahhhh peace for you