AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

No fucking way.
I love seeing new places, tend to try to cram too much in, and have a child who has always travelled easily.
But all he wants here is a prop for a fucking Instagram post, or to be able to say his son has been to 20 countries aged 2. Twat.

It all sounds way too exhausting to me.
Sil and her family love doing their holidays like this but it suits them - they are very active and keen to travel about and explore. They are also happy to take 7 flights taking 3 days if it halves the cost of one direct flight and they plan little excursions along the way.
Us? We like to arrive, unpack and settle down for 2 weeks!

OP- has your partner now seen sense? Has he apologised for his arsehole behaviour calling you boring etc?

Your DH sounds a little...young.

Even if this were a good idea (FWIW I think it’s an awful itinerary child or no) there are two of you in this marriage and you should both consider each other’s preferences and have a suitable compromise not guilt trip. There must surely be a path between weeks in Cornwall and that kind of mental dashing about. I love to travel and live about but would not consider that itinerary for a second. Doesn’t put your child first at all.

Mind you there is something to be said for just doing it and putting an end to the whole idea ever coming up again...

I'd let DH go on his own while you and DS have a peaceful, relaxing week elsewhere. Your DH is deluded if he thinks that's a suitable holiday for a toddler! Why can't he find 1 destination to visit and explore properly? All those flights will be expensive too I think!

ummmm......hell no.

We travel a lot. Adventurous holidays. Lots of moving around. Did this with older kid and started at 3 months with the younger one.

But I wouldnt' do this trip, even without kids. It just doesn't sound fun at all. The transfer time involved for each stop isn't worth the payoff.

Unless he's found out he's ill and only has six months left to live (which at least would explain why he's trying to combine so many trips) In that case I say go for it.

Is the OP ever going to bother coming back?

It won’t mean anything to your boy- just boast material for daddy.

Cottonwood

She's probably been guilted into booking it unfortunately

She's probably been guilted into booking it unfortunately

Yep.

Hubby seems to be thinking of only himself

Uh, no. This is an itinerary you could probably do with a 3 month old baby (as long as DP is willing to carry DC in a sling a lot of the time.) But not with a 20 month old who wants to play and run around. This sounds like your toddler is going to spend the best part of two weeks strapped down, which is not a healthy experience for a little one.

Much better to pick ONE of those places and go there for a full week, and then in a couple of months, when you have recovered from the strain, pick another ONE and go there for a week. Stay in one place and really get to know it. Spain, Portugal, Austria and Slovenia are all worth way more than a day or two each.

I'm exhausted just reading your holiday plans. In fact, doesn't sound much of a holiday for you. I think your OH just wants to do something exciting and is not thinking of your or your child's needs. I think just a nice beach holiday in Cornwall would be just the ticket while your child is so young. He sounds selfish.... sorry.

Slightly irrelevant to the overall question but there are no 2 hour trains between Porto and Lisbon. The quckest one is 2h35 but most take three hours.

And the Algarve is a 3 hour drive from Lisbon.

My daughter has been to Barbados, Florida, Cyprus amongst other amazing places. Ask her where her fave is and she would say Cornwall all day long. So this year that is her main holiday! Good holidays are absolutely wasted on a toddler. Why doesn't DH just say he wants to go??!!

Go for a European beach holiday. Somewhere with guaranteed sunshine so your little one can build sandcastles, paddle in the sea etc everyday. I have two DC’s age 8 and 5 and we have travelled a lot as we did prior to having them but our trips are different now and tailored to their needs. We actually travelled more in the U.K. before we had kids as we didn’t worry about the weather so much. Now, our idea of hell is being stuck inside a cottage for a week while it pisses down outside! We’ve just done Tenerife and loved it. There’s no way we would have gone there as a couple!

Nope, no, wouldn't happen for me! Your poor ds wouldn't know of he was coming or going! Send him on his own and you have a lovely trip to Cornwall

Only read the first page so far but I'm wondering if he expects you to do all the seeing to your possibly fractious child throughout this (so called) holiday? Is there not some compromise between what the two of you want?

Yanbu. As most have noted, the planned trip is, erm, ambitious by any measure, and with a 20mo DS …? Nope. We took our first born to Portugal for a week aged 21 months, staying in one place, and while not a nightmare, the hol was all about childcare, in a strange place with strange language, concerns over DD getting burnt, car-seat problems (booked one but … not available), seeing sights dependant on feeding/nappies …

Of course if you are both young and fit and love a challenge, go for it. At least it will give you wonderful memories … of how you survived!

I'd be exhausted - without a child!

Tell him to go on his own, while you and DS enjoy a week in Cornwall.

"DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this"

That's a veiled threat. "Do what I want, in the way I want it, or I'll leave you"

Your not being unreasonable. As mum the burdens of exhaustion and organisation and dealing with tired little one would mostly fall on you. Naturally you don't want that. You just wanna relax.

Shouldn't be together??

DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

WTF is this about? That itinerary with a toddler would be torture for everyone including your fellow passengers.

never mind the ridiculous amount of travelling with a toddler... its his whole attitude toward his wife.

LTB! he is a prick.