AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

The only reason to go to Porto I can see is that it is so they can pick up the train to Lisbon. They will spend that half a day getting from the airport to the station with all their bags and spend an hour or two in the station coffee shop and calming the baby. Why go to Porto just to do this? Because it's cheaper than going direct to Lisbon is what he'll say.

Luggage not a major issue in Porto as there are lockers at the main city centre station Sao Bento and also a short walk away at Aliados metro, but still pointless spending only half a day there imo. (Which might be even less than or even nothing at all if you have any travel delays).

I suggest he photoshop the three of you into these destinations for his instagram.
Then you just go on a regular beach holiday, in Cornwall, or maybe Mallorca.

Maybe he can also Photoshop a dick onto his head.

Charley50 😂

This all seem a bit...pointless? Half a day in Porto: why even bother, you won't get anything out of it. A day and a half in Vienna: again, plenty of things to do in Vienna, spending just 36 hours there won't even begin to cover the major sights.

It all seems planned haphazardly, lots of different places that have nothing much in common and require complicated and tiring travel arrangements just for, what?, instagram kudos?

*What is the point of going to Porto and to Lisbon.

Many people would be upset to read this. grin They are very different cities*

But I bet there train stations look very similar

As for going back to some airport miles hours away it might be cheaper in theory if he had pre booked the train tickets but how much more money will it cost if your flight is delayed and your tickets end up voided because you didn’t get on the train because you were stuck in the airport and your flight hadn’t taken off.

I have travelled a little to different countries and one thing that sticks out is he hasn’t left any room for delays and having to buy more tickets because he got the cheapest non refundable ones.

I have never known a holiday where a flight going or coming back was not delayed.

I suggest that as a trial run you go on a 3 hour drive this weekend. Get where you are going and after 20minutes come back and do the same on Sunday and see how a toddler reacts to travelling.

I can’t believe there are families that do this for a picture.
Utterly bonkers

Two adults and a backpack - fine. Except I’d have more time in Porto.

Two adults AND A SMALL CHIID? No way.

Sorry. Menorca even. I heard it's great for toddlers.

Ok, I am over thinking this thread but in the light of op deciding to stay with her selfish, superficial dp then maybe a slightly altered itinerary? Four days Spain, fly to Lisbon for 3 days, fly to Ljubljana for 4 days. Hire a car for a day trip to Vienna. Fly back to local airport. Lots of Insta shots. The only proviso is reasonable flight times and lots of shared childcare otherwise Cornwall it is.

The early flight wouldn't bother me - keep the kid in their PJs, they'll sleep on the way to the airport and then probably again on the flight - but no way would I be doing that much flitting around between countries. 2 centre holiday maximum.

MsChook sorry that still sounds nuts!

I backpacked for 2 years so no stranger to hanging about in weird places for various forms of transportation but that itinerary is just a load of unnecessary hassle, very little substance to it? That's not adventure it's just tedious - adventure is Kayaking down the Amazon or trekking in the Andes not sitting in an airport or train station in Europe with a bored toddler.

Lol absolutely cottonwood! I wouldn't do it! Just thought it might be an alternative if the op still wants to save her marriage

Haha MrsChook indeed! Wish the op would come back and tell us that her DH was winding her up!

That's not a holiday. That's backpacking when your in your teens and have fuck all to care about.

Genuinely curious as to your DH's logic. Has he said why he wants to follow this particular itinerary? It has no real logic to it. Also his ultimatum is childish and a bit worrying, for a man with a family. That aside, you could have an "adventure" (if he insists, and if you agree) just in Spain and Portugal, or taking trains from Italy to Slovenia, or in the UK for that matter - ther's nothing superior about combining four mostly disparate countries in such a short time. PPs have it right - send him on a flight to Edinburgh with your DS first thing on a Saturday and tell him he needs to be back by Sunday night.

St Ives is nice, or Norfolk perhaps?

A day at the beach is an adventure for a 20m old!

OP your DH is nuts. I wouldn't do that with out DC let alone with a 20 month old. My god a 2 hour drive to the seaside is taxing with DC. Tell your DH it is not happening and to stop emotionally blackmailing you to do it.

He's one of those people who 'do' countries, isn't he?

"Oh I've done India, next time we'll do China". No respect for language, culture, immersing oneself. Just ticking boxes to be cool. The issue is he will be able to say, "DS has been to 15 countries" but DS won't remember anything about it, nor will he respect the people or understand the countries he goes to.

Pointless traveling.

MrsTerryPratchett so glad you said that, I cannot bear the expression 'to do' a country, drives me insane.

Totally bonkers, have you let him know that he's brought about an unheard of unanimous opinion on AIBU

Bloody hell - that'll be a nightmare with a toddler! Or any child, come to that - not exactly a fun, child friendly holiday, is it?! Your husband is being really selfish.

Absolute nightmare.

Add a vomiting bug and some headlice into that plan and you just described my worst nightmare. Worse than meeting Freddy Kruger or growing a full moustache.

No way.

Is this some kind of sick joke? A thousand times no.ceven the thought of our planned two places in a week an hour away from each other is making me nervous.

We travelled (and still travel) a lot. We've taken the DCs to some far flung places when they were little, and I'm not afraid of travelling to places that are hard to get to/are a bit dodgy (pre kids!) not a brag, just setting the scene for me to say, Yeah I wouldn't touch this with someone else's shitty stick. It's not being unadventurous, it's being realistic about the experience you will have.
If you and DH want to travel, then go, stay in one place for a decent amount of time, immerse yourselves, and enjoy it. If he wants to 'do' countries, then he's an arse who shouldn't be allowed to inflict himself on other cultures.