AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

A 20month old is never going to remember this holiday let alone be talking about the half day they spent in Porto.

What they will remember is having a good time playing on the beach or in a pool and having a routine each day will stick far more than a whirl of places.

Just no.

When travelling with children, we've found the 3 night rule works best for my sanity and theirs - always stay in each location for no less than 3 nights. It just stops everyone feeling so unsettled, and also minimises re-packing/ unpacking.

I wouldn't recommend Cornwall in August - locals know it as the rainy season :) Also, the roads are hectic.

That said, a 20 month old will travel ok. Nothing wrong with a 3 centre holiday, as long as you get to stop in some places for a bit.

It's a stupid schedule for a holiday. There's hardly any logic to it and it's just hopping around Europe. And I'd hate packing and spending hours at airports every couple of days.

Porto deserves much more than half a day and you could easily spend a week in and around Lisbon, while also enjoying some sun and the beach.

Pick one or two places per year and spend a week or at least 4-5 days in each.

Turn it around on him on how you don't want to be with someone who forces their partner on a non-enjoyable holiday.

You'll have time to visit all those places properly.

Tell him to go ahead on his own and you'll book a cottage with your ds near a beach.

He'll come back exhausted and you'll have had a nice break, building sand castles.

Sounds exhausting!

FWIW the holidays my dc remember as being great holidays involved a villa and a pool and going out daily to play in the pool, eating by the pool and going out in the late afternoons to go to the sea and get an ice cream at a beachside cafe.

Just go to the Isle of Wight. You can get the ferry or the catamaran and/or the hovercraft if you want to be adventurous. When you're there you can get a steam train, land train and underground train. There's dinosaurs to hunt, shipwrecks, a zoo, model village, model railway - basically toddler heaven even before you get to Tapnell farm, the beaches and rock pools or all the ice cream.

He is nuts but you sound a bit wet to be honest, of course you could let your DH and DS go away together for a few days, he would get a dose of realism and you would realise your DS doesn’t need you there all the time.

So many replies to read through- I don't think I've ever seen a unanimous AIBU thread! I'm not ignoring just had a busy morning will update later
Thanks all

@Carriemac of course he doesn't need me there all the time, I'd miss him lots though!

sounds mad

also sounds awful for adults tbh, never mind a child

doing all this for Instagram? I don't know what to say...well I do, but it wouldn't be very polite!!

That itinerary is bonkers! Fly to Spain, stay there for a week. Fly home. Simple!

Haven’t read the whole thread but the schedule sounds exhausting.

Also, from experience, a 20 month old wouldn’t remember the holiday anyway. You may get some nice pictures of dc in the various locations, but that’s it. Better to wait when they are older and can appreciate the different places more.

That's not even an adventurous holiday, though. It's just sitting on, or waiting for, a lot of transport. Wait a bit and do something properly adventurous, like Borneo or Sri Lanka when your boy is a bit older.

I love travelling but think that’s way too much with a toddler. You could use one or 2 places as a base and do day trips from there. It would still be adventurous as you are seeing new things. Sometimes we take it in turns to look after our dd on holiday if the other one wants to do some exploring or an excursion that would be hard with a toddler. You could chill on a beach whilst he rushes around for a day cramming in activities. Also there’s a Facebook group called travel mad families which has a lot of hard core travelling families on it. I bet if he posted on there everyone would reply saying it’s too much.

What a tedious holiday. Its a no from me.

What everyone else said.

We are seasoned adventure travellers. We sacked all that off and just to butlins when the kids were little.

Only when the youngest reached 7 did we dare do a multi destination trip to continental Europe . And we took the ferry anddrove our own car. If he wants instaphotos of multiple modes of transport, then do then on day trips from a single base.

Even then the youngest didn’t enjoy the hours on the Autobahn, and we seriously risked putting them off touring holidays for a while.

Tell him to go alone. If he won’t, he wants your baby there, you have a bigger problem. He wants to use your child to oneup others.

This is not a child friendly holiday, it’s a route march for photos. The braggy Millennials have become braggy parents and their children are a type. Don’t turn your child into one of those OP! Be normal and go to the seaside!

We brought up our two in a foreign land. We spent weeks in hot but beautiful places dodging scorpions and visiting interesting cultural sites. It was exhausting. They remember nothing. Go to Cornwall!

His itinerary just doesn't sound fun at all. There's a good reason why some flights are cheap, namely the ones that get in at oh fuck o'clock.

This kind of ticklist insta snappy travelling is great in your single twenties when all you have to do is sling a bikini into a rucksack and you can catch up on Zzzs in a hammock, but with a toddler? No thanks.

If it was just the early flight to Spain, where you would then stay for a week, then fabulous! Or perhaps one week there, then a week somewhere else ... then home... again, fabulous and doable.

But it sounds like he's more concerned about what other people are doing then what would make you and your little one happy, and frankly, him as well. His plans do not sound fun or relaxing at all. You'll be exhausted from your 'holiday' ... not really the point of them is it?

Wow. I had a problem just stopping over at MILs for ONE night on our way back from a holiday !

he’s being incredibly selfish, and unimaginative. What a crazy man !

I think with a young toddler it could be stressful. You're going to spend the bulk of the trip just travelling/waiting in airports and then spending small amounts of time in the actual destinations, just so he can say he's "been there". It seems a bit pointless.

Very selfish itinerary. If a child is unhappy the parents will have a terrible time. There is nothing in this for a toddler. He needs to wise up and go to Cornwall or a resort in the med

DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this

I'd be really worried about this attitude of his, I'm afraid.

He doesn't seem to give a shit about anyone but himself.

Can you imagine spending the rest of your life being downtrodden by this guy?