AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

Pre dc I would have jumped at the chance to to this. I wouldn't even do this now with my 5 year old let alone a 20 month old. Because he would be bored out of his mind with all the travelling and wouldn't get much out of the cities either. Its not for everyone and I am not sure if this is cool enough for your dh but if you want to see a few countries we have found cruises work really well for us, takes all the stress out of the travelling and can pick ports with kid friendly things to do-beaches, aquariums etc or that you can just potter round.
You are definitely not being U though, can't imagine any way this would be fun with a little one.

Not on your bloody nelly. That's a really really stupid and selfish idea and will only end badly.

We have a 2yr old and just spent a week at a UK beach doing exactly as you described having rented a house from holiday cottages. It was bliss and I even posted a couple of pics on insta 😂
Fish and chips
Beach
Day trips
Ice cream
Rock pools
Hot tub in the garden we could enjoy and still see/hear the "baby" monitor.
It was a really really lovely break.

We're toying with a week in Europe over the summer. It's hard with a toddler. They need both familiarity and stimulation. That's a lot of luggage!

Not sure bow lightly you can pack with a baby. Don’t think lightly enough for this trip!

His a self-fish git - Cornwall not adventerous enough! Tough tits.

No way would I do that as an adult. My max is 3-4 places in 2.5 weeks with at least two nights in each accommodation. When DCs were young it was one destination by pool or beach (or CPs!).

We did three cities in one week last year and after it all I felt that it had been a bit rushed. Two would have been enough. And that was in a group of just adults. You don't get a chance to appreciate the place you're in. Add a toddler to the mix and, just no.

He won't get to see the countries he is actually tonight see. You cant see a city in 2 days (even Ljubljana which is tiny). Pick a place and actually get to see something past the main road.

Normally I'd be up for this sort of thing (if he was driving) but not with a 20mth old, I'd go for the compromise of visiting only 2 places at most, can do day trips from there.

Imagine the packing and unpacking.

What a pain.

What are you going to do OP?

That's not a holiday! Too much travel in too short a time and throw a toddler in there, no thanks! Ur dh not being practical or properly thinking this one through, that's not much fun for a toddler.

My children are quite used to traveling, but the itinerary is utterly ridiculous- flying from Portugal to Austria! Just why?
If I wanted to go to multiple countries on one trip - if you want to come up with some sort of compromise - I might suggest fly to South of France (Antibes is nice and has a zoo/amusement park that might be good for a toddler, good beach, attractive town. Then along the coast to Monaco for a day (Ds might like the aquarium or looking at all the boats). Then on into Italy, Ligurian countryside for a few days, explore Genoa, fly back from there. 3 countries but much less stress and you might actually enjoy yourselves.

My OH and sons love driving so they are doing "5 countries in 5 days" this summer. Ferry over to France, then to Luxembourg, Germany, Denmark and Holland. 3-5 hours driving a day and one night in each country. My daughter and I are booked to go to a spa instead as nothing, NOTHING - could persuade us to on another driving holiday in Europe.

Tell your OH to do something similar with your little one if he must. He can get his previous Instagram pics and condense it to 5 days. Then you both go away together for 5 days. I booked all this and It was cheap as chips, £280 for various hotels and £50 for the ferry.

Just to add that Vienna is scorching hot in summer. Most of Viennese people escape to the mountains in July and August. Come for the Christmas markets.😀

YANBU! We've travelled with our 2 DS from a young age mostly in Asia, but nothing so frantic as that. It seems the aim is cramming so many places in rather than actually doing or enjoying! Hope he sees some sense OP!

Send him to Brighton with your dc for a weekend. Some ppl(men) have no idea.

Dp, slightly upset that you think I'm boring so how about a compromise? Yes, to Spain and Lisbon! After that I think I'll stay mooching about Lisbon for a couple of days, then you can carry on into Central Europe without me moaning! Make sure you send me lots of photos! I'll miss baby terribly but, as you say, it will be a wonderful experience for him/her and for you of course! See you back home!

Yet another voice saying it's mad.

Does your DH have any idea how Instagram influencers work? They aren't a family who work and have a holiday, it's their job. The whole time they are doing these trips, they are working - planning photos, videos, going home and editing, writing posts. They go where they have set up trips with travel companies and say it's amazing to suck you in because that's how they keep their business running.

Yes, they are travelling and seeing stuff but it isn't a holiday as anyone else would understand it. They are running businesses.

Going back to his batshit plan - Spain, fine.
Porto - WTF? Has he noticed you have a toddler? Even if you had longer than half a day, what does he actually think that you are going to do there that is in anyway enjoyable for a toddler. It's a cultural destination which most people go to with at least some intention of port tasting.
Lisbon - OK depending on what you want to do
Vienna - Again, I love the place but it's not a toddler break. It's a major cultural destination. Possibly the zoo or the butterfly house.
Slovenia - possibly sensible but you'll all be knackered

Does he have any idea what you will do in these destinations except take 2 Insta photos outside the cathedral?

DH and I love travel. In fact we love it so much that we haven't been to that many countries as we find so much to do everywhere we go. Currently planning a trip to Berlin - think we can do 2 weeks just there and still not see everything we'd like!

OP any update?

Oh DH has just pointed out the weather.

We went to Vienna in September. It was stifling. They have a continental climate. Even going to a nice garden was a military dash from one small patch of shade to the next.

When we mentioned something about the weather to hotel reception - people flaking out all round us - he commiserated but said we were lucky we weren't here a few weeks earlier in August.

Am sure you and your toddler would not be happy.

That isn’t a holiday, it sounds bloody exhausting! You’ll need an actual holiday after that trip .

Bloody Hell.

The man is mad. Whoever said "burn the passports" upthread is right.

OP, your DS would have a lovely time in Cornwall. Holidays once you have children are about what they will enjoy (especially when they're toddlers, as their enjoyment has a major effect on yours).

We always took ours to Cornwall for a week of all the things you list. Sometimes it rained for the week, but walking in the rain on holiday seems somehow less bad than when you're at home. Plus there are loads of things to do indoors even if you happen upon a foul week.

I wouldn't have let my DC out of my sight, either, when they were toddlers, so completely understand why you wouldn't just tell your H to take DS and get on with hit.

I hope you do show this thread to him.

He follows lots of Instagram travel families and I think likes the idea of our son having been to loads of countries at a young age

What's the point? He's hardly going to know and appreciate the countries.

Tell him if it's that important he & ds go on their own. And you have a week relaxing.

^ it, not hit.

He's being v selfish. A 20mth old will hate all that travelling.

What looks good on instagram, and what a 20mth old actually enjoys doing are not necessarily the same!

Utterly ridiculous.

Even just with 2 adults a plane could be delayed, there could be traffic jams. Just the logistics are ridiculous.

I would suggest 5 days in Spain and 5 days in Portugal as a compromise. Austria and that area of Europe can be left for another time.

2 destinations max. Anything more is not a holiday.

This is actually all about him and his vanity. Another insta idiot, imo.

Obviously you can’t drag your toddler around multiple countries just so his dad can feed his narcissism.