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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to just chuck away all my old wedding photos etc

57 replies

youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 14:49

Divorced three years ago after 25 years of marriage and two years split - hadn’t loved him for last 10 years of that. Have moved on and finally getting round to clearing cupboards (long overdue) and got to the wedding photo album and video and family photos including him - not too many of those most were me taking photos of the kids.

Am with a new man (for a while now) and very happy.

Just don’t know if it’s normal just to throw the lot? Would it BU?

What have you done if you have divorced?

OP posts:
FrozenMargarita17 · 06/04/2019 14:51

Chuck em. It's not like they'll bring you happy memories. I'm someone who erases the existence of exes when I'm no longer with them. It doesn't make me happy to see them so I just get rid of everything!

JacquesHammer · 06/04/2019 14:53

What have you done if you have divorced?

Kept mine, was a lovely day and a good marriage. Too many people in the pictures have died.

Plus our daughter likes looking at them Smile

Alsohuman · 06/04/2019 14:53

If you have kids give them to them. My husband has no photos from his first marriage and although we’ve been together for 21 years now, it still makes him sad that he has no record of a huge chunk of his life.

MittensForKittens123 · 06/04/2019 14:54

If I was you I’d keep a couple of pictures of you for your kids - my parents are divorced, and I would have liked to have seen my mum’s wedding dress, and the pictures of my granny on the day. Depending of the age of your children, why don’t you ask them if they want to pick say 10 each?

WheelyCote · 06/04/2019 14:58

Chucked my album and photos a d regret it.

Put them in a box and stick them in the loft, then on the occasion u want to look over them...youve left yourself thst option.

Its not about your exh its about a chapter in your life. Its the people in the pbotos with you too.

Its a day when your loved ones and friends came together for you. Your exh happens to be in the photos too.

Keep them even at someone elses house

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 06/04/2019 14:59

Give them to kids if they want them. Otherwise chuck.

Marie Kondo then!

ABadlyShavedYeti · 06/04/2019 15:00

Maybe just keep a few, the family ones, but bin the ones with just the two of you in them.

Original poster
youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 15:26

There are some of my loved relatives who have since died in them which does make me reluctant, but don’t want to see picks of XH either! My DD and DS don’t want them.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 06/04/2019 15:28

They may not want them now but may well do in the future. I’d put them in the loft and decide a few years down the line.

onalongsabbatical · 06/04/2019 15:29

Your children might not want them now, but they might regret you getting rid of them. How old are DD and DS?

Meandwinealone · 06/04/2019 15:29

They might not want them now. But they might want them in the future.
It’s no hassle to keep them in the loft.
And also great grandchildren might be interested. It’s fascinating to look at old photos of family you never knew. It’s a link to the past.

easterbuns1 · 06/04/2019 15:30

I put mine away in the loft in case the children wanted to see them once they are older.

RickyGold · 06/04/2019 15:33

I kept mine in a cupboard, my ex recently died and I was glad I had them as I had very few photos of ex so some of the wedding photos went in ds's memory box. So I would keep them for your dc in the future

barryfromclareisfit · 06/04/2019 15:36

I have mine. I looked lovely ...

Original poster
youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 15:48

God I looked so young!! And did love the dress! DD is 24 and DS 12 so a real split in ages.

OP posts:
AnnieMay100 · 06/04/2019 15:49

My dd made a scrapbook of her family and kept some of the nice photos of our wedding day to put in it the rest I threw away

elQuintoConyo · 06/04/2019 16:02

On the back of group pictures, write the names of who they are and how they're related. Your GDC might like to see great-great aunts and find their own DC resemble ggg-grandad or something.

My mother gave me all her wedding pictures and we went through and wrote down who they were, how we are all related and things like A made the wedding cake, B got drunk and fell over outside the church, Cried not long after in local fire, D was a housemaid in the Downton-esque house near the village etc. FASCINATING! And now my 7yo loves looking through them too

elQuintoConyo · 06/04/2019 16:05

Died, not cried obviously!
And my parents divorced 10 years ago after 34 years married. Neither have spoken to the other since, and my sister in NC with dad. So I'm glad I have the photos.
My mum wore a polkadot minidress and my dad looks about 15yo lol!

CharbaLabaDingDong · 06/04/2019 16:19

We separated 5 years ago and have been divorced for 3. This year would've been our 10th wedding anniversary.

I've kept all of the photos, videos, mementos, etc. It was a fantastic day that I look back on with fond memories, we were completely in love on that day and I'll always remember it as one of the best days of my life.

Plus the photo album is full of wonderful pictures of friends and family, some of whom (including my dad) are no longer with us.

NiteFlights · 06/04/2019 16:23

My parents are divorced. I love looking at their wedding album (from the sixties) - it’s fascinating to see the clothes etc and everyone looking so young. I’m not into keeping much memorabilia but I think if you keep an album (so it’s manageable) your DC might like to have it later on.

My DM and stepdad had a video of their wedding but my DSis accidentally taped over it Grin

callmeadoctor · 06/04/2019 16:25

Please Please don't chuck them, both my parents are now dead, no pictures AT ALL. It really upsets me.

Smelborp · 06/04/2019 16:26

Don’t throw them away. Your children may want them in the future.

ChipSandwich · 06/04/2019 16:29

I kept mine. It's in a box at the back of a cupboard. I wouldn't want to throw it away. I still have a good relationship with my exh we just married too young and grew apart. No children with him

Original poster
youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 16:46

Thank you all for your stories and thoughts. I think I will put the main album in the loft but get rid of all the single pics of the two of us. There are some lovely ones of my Nan, great aunt and another favourite uncle who are no longer with us plus quite a few others only hanging on in there. Can’t see my own children wanting to ever look at them but possible their children I suppose might for the history aspect... although my partner has just said about a new app where you can scan old photos... lol! That throws another option in....!!!!

OP posts:
Seeleyboo · 06/04/2019 16:53

I threw all mine. Even if it was a relative on their own in a picture. I just didn't want to be reminded of it.