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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to just chuck away all my old wedding photos etc

57 replies

youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 14:49

Divorced three years ago after 25 years of marriage and two years split - hadn’t loved him for last 10 years of that. Have moved on and finally getting round to clearing cupboards (long overdue) and got to the wedding photo album and video and family photos including him - not too many of those most were me taking photos of the kids.

Am with a new man (for a while now) and very happy.

Just don’t know if it’s normal just to throw the lot? Would it BU?

What have you done if you have divorced?

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 06/04/2019 17:10

Maybe keep for your children. It's not just your decision imo.

Purpleartichoke · 06/04/2019 17:10

I have mine in a cardboard box. I don’t want to throw them out because there are family members and friends in those photos. They represent some of my favorite memories, even if the divorce was awful. I don’t keep it on a shelf because I don’t think my current husband should have to look at it. I’m tempted to destroy the wedding album itself and extract the photos I want and put them in a smaller album, but I just can’t bring myself to damage it.

ivykaty44 · 06/04/2019 17:13

Gave them to my eldest, they Re photographs of her family and many are now dead, so it would feel wrong to put them in the bin.

SunshineCake · 06/04/2019 17:13

You can't scan photos you don't have.

Supercuts · 06/04/2019 17:17

Of course you throw them! Who else would want them?! Confused

Hecateh · 06/04/2019 17:31

I put mine in a memory capsule (an old trunk probably around the 1950's) along with some even older photos of grandparents weddings etc old but good condition toys, house plans and original deeds, some coins, and a few other bits and bobs and put the trunk under the floor when I was having some work done.

Unlikely anyone will be going under the floor again for at least 20 years and could be a lot more. Hopefully be an interesting find for someone.

TheTapir · 06/04/2019 17:32

I packed my wedding album up with my cheating ex husband's stuff when I threw him out. I didn't want them, and wanted him to know that I didn't want them. I might also have slightly liked the idea of the ow coming across them and thinking that he'd chosen to keep them.

Lovestonap · 06/04/2019 17:34

I'm nearly 40 and I have my parents wedding album. Their divorce was so painful and they now never talk about their marriage, it's like our entire childhood has been written out of history. It's nice to have proof that they did once love each other and we were happy as a family.

lotusbell · 06/04/2019 17:35

I split with my ex when I was pregnant with DS12, I've still got our wedding 'box's in the loft. Not sure DS12 is that bothered about looking at our wedding photos, but I feel like I should hold onto them for some reason Hmm

MrsWillGardner · 06/04/2019 17:39

I’ve been divorced 13yrs and still have some of my photos. I have children with my new husband (not exactly ‘new’ as been wed nearly 13yrs!) and I’ll show them what I looked like when I was slim! They also have all my family on and my wedding photos to h#2 don’t have some of those people.

I have however, cut xh out of some of the photos of him and me just because.

OnMyWhistle · 06/04/2019 17:44

I have the photos from both of my mums former marriages- I like looking at them every now and then. I also kept a few from my first marriage - I think it’s an important part of the history forming my 2 older children’s lives.

ChristmasFluff · 06/04/2019 17:52

I agree with your partner, and was going to comment to get rid of them if you want to, but scan them first.

Your children may not think they want them now, but I've just spent another afternoon scanning some of my parents' photos from their house clearance. It's so special to have photos of grandparents - and that means my son has photos of his great grandparents. And the other relatives who have died.

I have kept my wedding photos anyway, because I get on with my ex husband. But also, I looked lovely :-D

CheshireChat · 06/04/2019 17:53

Hah, timely thread, my mum's recently sent me some pictures of her grandad so mid 19th century. And just today a friend of hers has finally managed to retrieve some photos from when I was a kid (and her kids are similar ages) and has sent them over.

Original poster
youcantchoosethem · 06/04/2019 18:28

It’s interesting how mixed it is - whether you keep them or not. I personally can’t stand XH now for many reasons and really don’t want to see pictures of him but yes it was part of my children’s history too, although neither at the moment want anything to do with them either and can’t see my DD ever wanting any contact at all. My DS probably would just not be bothered! Only worry with scanning is how terrible I am st tech and keeping things backed up etc. Have cleared seven bags of recycling but still have the bloody thing on the side!

OP posts:
dictionarycorners · 06/04/2019 18:30

Throw them away! Other people will have the odd photo if your son ever becomes interested. Why keep something that brings you pain. It’s bad for your health. Go and put them in the bin!

EmeraldShamrock · 06/04/2019 18:32

Choose the good ones, cut his head out if necessary, bin the rest.

madmother1 · 06/04/2019 18:33

I've kept mine. 23 years married. I'm keeping them for the memory and as people has said already, many people have died, including my DM & DF.

Pianobook · 06/04/2019 18:34

You could keep them in the loft and never look at them but they’re there just in case your children are ever interested. I’ve kept mine as even though I had a horrible divorce I had a lovely wedding.

maddening · 06/04/2019 18:36

See if your kids want them

Chocolateisfab · 06/04/2019 18:36

I cut all mine up and put them in exh's bed when I moved out!!
Sold my rings and had a night out with a friend too!!

dictionarycorners · 06/04/2019 18:38

No don’t put them in the loft! Why would you? It’s just storing crap for no reason. Who does that?! Throw them away!

morewashingtodooo · 06/04/2019 18:39

If you have children don't. And did it and had to reprint them because I realised it was selfish. Plus in years to come you may want to look back at them.

fotheringhay · 06/04/2019 18:41

I chucked the physical album but I have electronic copies

lyralalala · 06/04/2019 18:41

Put them in a box, stick them in a cupboard or loft and forget about them then they are there if your kids ask. Especially group photos or family photos. I don't have a single photo of me with my parents as a child. It doesn't overly bother me, but I would have liked to show my kids when they asked about it.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 06/04/2019 18:49

Definitely keep them for the children. I've never been sentimental and was always bored to tears by family stories but I'm now late 40's I spent a lovely afternoon looking through my parents wedding album and other photos recently. If asked if I wanted them in my 20s I probably would have rolled my eyes but seeing people I only remember as elderly relatives as younger versions, the 60s fashions etc was lovely.